Asked to go to a wedding in.......

Fang_3

jonty1970 wrote: »

:rotfl:

I have never been rude
I am having a moan on here, to strangers, not to her face or to people who know her, behind her back. it will never gt back to her to upset her.
this is a safe way to let off a bit of steam about something.

I wish her well, i just think she needs to realise, most people can't afford to spend " a few thousand" to watch someone get married

It's not like it's my child!!!!

That depends on what social circles you move in. Clearly.

Fang_3

jonty1970 wrote: »

Can you read my posts a little bit better, as you seem to have missed where I did politley decline the kind offer

Why do you assume that my post was in direct reference to you and not a comment on the wider range of opinions expressed in this thread?

Person_one

Fang wrote: »

Christ alive! What is the problem? If you don't want to go, then politely decline. They have been gracious enough to invite you to go so there's no reason for you to be rude. Though I suspect that you would have found something to moan about even if the wedding had been held in something as common and vile as the local Travelodge!

I assume you've never been on the receiving end of someone griping at you or pleading because you're less than eager to go on their 'hen party' which is actually a four night stay in Barcelona or Prague. Didn't a hen party used to be a meal and a night out?

Or heard engaged couples complaining that nobody seems to care about their colour schemes or calling the bridesmaids selfish because they are reluctant to shell out hundreds for a dress they'll never wear again.

Honestly, its got beyond a joke, just watch a few of the many many wedding programmes on TV these days if you don't know any engaged couples to see it first hand.

Gloomendoom

We were invited to a wedding of a colleague in a remote part of China last year. We would have gone if the we hadn't also been invited to the wedding of a close relative two days later in the UK. Even allowing for a twelve hour time difference, there was no way we could get back in time.

Fang_3

Person_one wrote: »

I assume you've never been on the receiving end of someone griping at you or pleading because you're less than eager to go on their 'hen party' which is actually a four night stay in Barcelona or Prague. Didn't a hen party used to be a meal and a night out?

No. My mother's hen party was a weekend in New York with her friends and my aunt. In 1986. My dad's stag party was the same weekend deep sea fishing with his friends and my uncle. The point of them, for everyone I know, is to do something that you wouldn't normally do with your loved ones. A meal and a night out might be thrilling by some people's standards, but it's very boring when you do it a few times a week.

Person_one wrote: »

Or heard engaged couples complaining that nobody seems to care about their colour schemes or calling the bridesmaids selfish because they are reluctant to shell out hundreds for a dress they'll never wear again.

Actually I haven't. Perhaps you should choose less selfish and more conscientious friends in future, especially if you're going to judge them?

Person_one wrote: »

Honestly, its got beyond a joke, just watch a few of the many many wedding programmes on TV these days if you don't know any engaged couples to see it first hand.

How is it beyond a joke? You're not forced to go. Have you lost the ability to say no, and that you can't afford it? Or that it's not your thing?

If someone wants to do something for their wedding, then that's fine and up to them. Equally, if you don't want to go, or take part, then don't. It's really very simple. All this moaning and bleating about how wrong it is just sounds like attention seeking to me.

jonty1970

Chill out Fang

my bad for being poor

I was asked to go to Benidorm for a Hen night last year
Ideclined (politely) as it is way too much to spend
I just haven't got money to burn!

Fang_3

jonty1970 wrote: »

Chill out Fang

my bad for being poor

I was asked to go to Benidorm for a Hen night last year
Ideclined (politely) as it is way too much to spend
I just haven't got money to burn!

Then stop moaning about it.

Person_one

jonty1970 wrote: »

Chill out Fang

my bad for being poor

I was asked to go to Benidorm for a Hen night last year
Ideclined (politely) as it is way too much to spend
I just haven't got money to burn!

Exactly, a meal and a night out might not be thrilling exactly, but its inclusive. If having the perfect exciting weekend abroad is more important than having the people you want there, well that's your decision. I can't even afford a weekend away of my own choosing at the moment, lots are in the same boat but being pressured to go on someone else's 'perfect' weekend.

I have no problem politely saying no, it would be nice if everybody could politely accept a no.

jonty1970

Fang wrote: »

No. My mother's hen party was a weekend in New York with her friends and my aunt. In 1986. My dad's stag party was the same weekend deep sea fishing with his friends and my uncle. The point of them, for everyone I know, is to do something that you wouldn't normally do with your loved ones. A meal and a night out might be thrilling by some people's standards, but it's very boring when you do it a few times a week.

Very exciting! They can afford it, not everyone. I would love to do these things, but can't join in.
And I feel bad.
Famliy would know not to ask so much of others. If they want it, fine, but don't expect others to spend money they can't afford.


How is it beyond a joke? You're not forced to go. Have you lost the ability to say no, and that you can't afford it? Or that it's not your thing?

If someone wants to do something for their wedding, then that's fine and up to them. Equally, if you don't want to go, or take part, then don't. It's really very simple. .

I agree. You are not forced to go and i would never spend moeny I don't have, just to "keep up with the Joneses"

All this moaning and bleating about how wrong it is just sounds like attention seeking to me

As I said before, it's letting off steam to people who don't know us and it won;t get back to them.

Fang_3

Person_one wrote: »

Exactly, a meal and a night out might not be thrilling exactly, but its inclusive. If having the perfect exciting weekend abroad is more important than having the people you want there, well that's your decision. I can't even afford a weekend away of my own choosing at the moment, lots are in the same boat but being pressured to go on someone else's 'perfect' weekend.

I have no problem politely saying no, it would be nice if everybody could politely accept a no.

Then this is more about your friendships than anything else. If your friends know that you can't afford something, then why would they ask you? Unless of course you're the type of person who would moan that you can't do something that others can afford, and then expect them to change their plans to suit your budget?