Asked to go to a wedding in.......

Person_one

Fang wrote: »

Then this is more about your friendships than anything else. If your friends know that you can't afford something, then why would they ask you? Unless of course you're the type of person who would moan that you can't do something that others can afford, and then expect them to change their plans to suit your budget?

I'm not any 'type' of person thanks, luckily my friends aren't the kind of people who would ditch a friend going through a tight spot by constantly doing things she can't afford and excluding her.

Its not those true good friends who act like wedding monsters, more acquaintances and friends of friends, when you're a female in her twenties or thirties you hear plenty of these stories.

Edit: I have lots of problems with the way the wedding industry works, but I won't go into them as they're mainly feminism related and I don't imagine you'd be receptive Fang!

jonty1970

it seems to me that some women turn into Bridezilla as soon as the ring is on their finger, and they want everything their way
Their right of course, but don't expect others to pay out a fortune for your special day!

And I will moan Fang. It's my right to post here
If you don't like it, go and read something else
Of course I value your opinon.
Thankyou for taking the time to moan about my moaning!

Fang_3

Person_one wrote: »

I'm not any 'type' of person thanks, luckily my friends aren't the kind of people who would ditch a friend going through a tight spot by constantly doing things she can't afford and excluding her.

Its not those true good friends who act like wedding monsters, more acquaintances and friends of friends, when you're a female in her twenties or thirties you hear plenty of these stories.

Edit: I have lots of problems with the way the wedding industry works, but I won't go into them as they're mainly feminism related and I don't imagine you'd be receptive Fang!

I'm probably more of a feminist than you are. But if these people are only friends of friends, then why is it such a drama for you to just say no?

Fang_3

jonty1970 wrote: »

it seems to me that some women turn into Bridezilla as soon as the ring is on their finger, and they want everything their way
Their right of course, but don't expect others to pay out a fortune for your special day!

And I will moan Fang. It's my right to post here
If you don't like it, go and read something else
Of course I value your opinon.
Thankyou for taking the time to moan about my moaning!

Surely the definition of a fortune is flexible?

Fitzio

I think that generally, people who get married abroad and invite others, don't expect that everyone will go. I think if you have experienced cases where you were expected to shell out thousands of pounds, then you are in the minority or have unreasonable friends.

I have declined 2 weddings abroad as I couldn't afford to go, but it was nice to be asked. No-one expected that I should go, but I think they would have been delighted if I could have gone.

jonty1970

Surely the definition of a fortune is flexible?
3 grand is way out of my budget
My brother and his wife wanted a particular venue for their wedding and had to borrow from family to afford it (they also got a bank loan)

It's just one day. Surely that money would be better spent on a deposit for a house or a honeymoon for them both

jonty1970

I'm sure you will have a wonderful day and holiday.
Don't you think though, that people attending your wedding shouldn't have to pay out lots of money to be there
Good luck to you all and I hope you have a wonderful time. Maybe I am old fashioned. A wedding for me is a day for family and friends and the happy couple fo away on their honeymoon alone

I have no trould saying no, but think it's unfair to ask people to spend lots of money to go with you
It is your day after all and your choice to do it abroad

Person_one

angel223 wrote: »

well im a bride due to be married a good few hours flight away in a few months. we gave friends and family 2 years notice and invited those we knew would not come simply as they would have moaned if they didnt get an invite.....sometimes you just cant do it any right way.
Are we selfish that we would rather spend money on a 2 week holiday for the family instead of just one day and a party having to invite and pay for many members of the family we havent seen in years (not even when kids were born). By taking my girls with us I hope to tech them about the completly different culture over there.....Its a once in a life time thing for us (hopefully not but likely not to happen for a number of years if ever again) and we grabbed it with both hands. I dont really care if people think were selfish its what we want, a relaxed holiday wedding. mil to be is throwing us a BBQ party before we go

Of course not! You'd only be selfish if you expected others to shell out and complained when they weren't willing, and I don't think you will!

The way you are doing it is sensible, you chose between either a small wedding abroad with just a close few or a big family bash with everybody you've ever met. The problems only arise when people expect to be able to combine the two!

I don't like to throw the word 'Bridezilla' around, because I think its used too much to put women in their place for daring to have an opinion (or refusing to be conned!). They do exist, but contrary to what Fang may think of me, I do believe most people are reasonable, but that the daft 'wedding industry' can turn even normally sensible people a bit doolally!

jonty1970

night all!
stayed up far too late as it is!

Person_one

Fang wrote: »

I'm probably more of a feminist than you are.

Then you'll know its not a competition