Asked to go to a wedding in.......

jonty1970

Cancun

Having a bit of a rant about this, forgive me

Apparently, it will only cost us "a few grand", for the privilege of attending their nuptuals

Isn't that what honeymoons are for? Have the big holiday afterwards, not expect family and friends to go that far, and to pay out so much to go with them!

What makes some people think we would ever pay that much money to watch them get married?

Rant over

Apricot

Usually people go abroad to stop their wedding turning into some big extravaganza full of family that they don't really want there. Maybe they only asked you because they want you to say no?
Even if they do really want you there, if you can't afford it then don't go - Im sure they would understand completely.

ailuro2

Well we were kind of the other way about, went off to Las Vegas on our own, had a 'weddingmoon' all by ourselves, a few people said they were hoping we'd ask them to come with us, they would have paid their fare etc. but at the end of the day it will be US who sit down and work things out when things get tough, and it was very sincere with just the two of us there. Aww, it makes me go soft just thinking about it. Would do it again tomorrow.

Some families however, think it will be one long party for a fortnight and assume just cos they love Cancun / Outer Hebrides / Torremolinos that everyone else will too, and that they will all be able to pay the fare too (on top of posh new outfits suitable for 100 degree heat:p)

tell them now you suffer terribly prickly heat / are allergic to fajitas / just don't like them that much to go to their wedding.:rotfl: That way they can rope someone else into coming celebrating with them.
Don't say it's the money, they will think up a way to get you cheap flights and find a two star hovel somewhere that you would find it hard to say no to.:)

In short, say No and keep saying it...

jonty1970

I have said no. It's too much money. I am not that close to them anyway.
I have said how lovely it is, but we can't go.
If I was ever going to spend that much (in my dreams lol) it would be somewhere for me and oh.

I just wonder what goes through their head, that they think people will spend that much to go with them. I really can't see it happening and if it does, only their parents will be there

*Louise*

Don't go. I wouldn't.

Well...only if it was one of my children...


If I was spending a 'few grand' on a holiday, it would be with my closest family and somewhere more suitable I woudl choose myself.

No problem in general with people having weddings abroad, they just need to accept that their guests will not all either want to go or be able to afford it.

*Louise*

Lol, cross-posted...were they ok with that?

jonty1970

I know someone who spent about 3 grand, taking him and his family.
OK, they had a nice holiday, but he couldn't really affordt to go, but felt that he had to.
No one forced him, but he did feel obliged and went.

it's the wrong way round, IMO
Wedding here with family and friends, then treat yourselves, if you can, to your dream honeymoon

jonty1970

They (she really) is still going on as if she didn't hear me say no.

Will wait and see if it happens and ask them to send me a postcard !

If I was stinky rich, I would be there in a second though. We just can't pay out that much for someone elses big day
(I have my own to plan and pay for yet)

ailuro2

if she didn't hear you the first time, find other ways to say NO - like 'will there be a webcam so we can watch from home', offer to look after their house / pets for them while they are gone etc..

mrcow

jonty1970 wrote: »

I just wonder what goes through their head, that they think people will spend that much to go with them. I really can't see it happening and if it does, only their parents will be there

No idea - my sister was toying with a foreign wedding and was expecting us to come. I told her that I hoped she'd have a nice time, but we wouldn't be going.

Why do people think that others would want to fork out hundreds/thousands simply to attend their wedding abroad?

Stephb1986_2

I know someone who is getting married in a few months but has planned to get married in the dominican republic even her own mum isn't paying to go so when she gets back she is having an evening reception.

I have toyed with the idea of getting married abroad my mum has property in brazil and dominican republic and I could get a few more villas/rooms cheaper for a group booking but not so sure on the idea yet. On the other hand when you get married over in this country you have to invite people you don't really want to invite like your great great uncle fester and his pet dog even though you have never met them in your life.

OP I think you have made the right decision not to go I don't know how someone can expect you to leave your only "family" holiday to attend their wedding.

Steph xx