Am I being cruel?**UPDATED**

CRANKY40

mrcow wrote: »

The way you worded your original post was as if a child demanding food at 2am becuase they hadn't eaten enough at dinner was a normal occurance! :eek: Sorry if I got the wrong end of the stick.

Apologies. My brain and fingers do not always synchronize, I was only thinking in terms of tonight as the OP's son probably would have been genuinely hungry come bedtime, and I think the OP will need her wits about her tomorrow.

bylromarha

angelicmary85 wrote: »

Now, I don't really see the harm in asking children what they'd like to eat and although we still can't get her to eat most things, she's just started eating custard :j which was a huge deal for us and I'm hoping that, with time, she'll learn to like more new things :T

I don't have a problem with choice either. Mine sometimes get to choose between 2 meals. Other times it's a holiday treat to choose dinner. We make a whole day of what they want to eat - do things like look through recipe books, write a shopping list, go to Tesco on a food hunt, come home and cook it altogether.

They struggle though if you just say What d'ya want for tea? Too much choice!

purplegirluk1

My two year old went to bed tonight after eating a few baked beans from his jacket potato with beans and salad. He wanted a football cheese (mini baby belle) he did not get a football cheese or a dessert. It is just the way it is around here, you don't eat what you are offered then that is it i'm afraid. He knows that, he didn't complain. Tomorrow he will eat his breakfast for sure! We eat healthy meals and he often refuses to eat them but one day I hope he will see that if he doesn't eat it he doesn't get anything else. Fingers crossed!!

TJH_2

My goodness, perhaps the poor thing fancied beans and toast and when they were presented he no longer fancied them?

I know I am going to get flamed here but are beans and toast a substantial main meal after a cereal bar and crisps at lunch? Where is the fruit and veg?

jackomdj

travelgran wrote: »

Interesting to see the difference expressed between 'good' food, sandwiches, main course and 'treat' or 'reward' food, fruit, yogurt, cake. Our relationship with food is incredibly complex!

I think it can be. Although in our house we do have an odd mix. DD2 loves to have dry Cherio's as a snack & an even bigger treat is having raisins in with them! DD1 loves cherry tomatoes & will often have a pot of them for a snack.

The other day for packed lunch DD1 took Cheese Scone which we had made with philly on it. One of the teachers asked what it was - I think she thought it was scone & cream.

angelicmary85

bylromarha wrote: »

I don't have a problem with choice either. Mine sometimes get to choose between 2 meals. Other times it's a holiday treat to choose dinner. We make a whole day of what they want to eat - do things like look through recipe books, write a shopping list, go to Tesco on a food hunt, come home and cook it altogether.

They struggle though if you just say What d'ya want for tea? Too much choice!

My DD has such a limited diet that it's not really a hard choice for her to decide :rotfl:

crapwithcash82

We do a menu plan for the week before I do the weekly shop, so we know what we are having for tea each night, or we at least have a list of seven meals and those are the meals for that week - mainly so I know what to shop for and don't spend a fortune, but also so we know in advance what is for tea.

When doing the menu each week, I always ask my DD, who is 3 what she would like for tea one or two of the nights of the week, and usually she comes up with suggestions of meals that she enjoys. I think it helps keep involved in the meal planning, you get suggestions of food that she likes, (which is varied; the only food she point blank refuses is cauliflower) and we know she's going to eat.

I would do the same as other posters have suggested and re-heat her tea if she refused to eat it at tea time, although luckily have never had to do it.... yet!

pretzelnut

Im going through a similar situation with my 3 year old DD, I removed everything edible from site, as we used to have the biscuit tin on the side etc, i even removed all the healthy food too. She was always grabbing some fruit from the bowl, one bite and putting it back.

For a few days she would pick and refuse to eat, the meals that were put in front of her, but once she saw and realised there was nothing else, she ate.

Even my doctor said she will not starve when she is hungry she will eat.

You also have to remember that children go through growth spurts where they will eat you out of house and home, equally they have days where they dont want to eat a lot.

Think about it, I bet there are days where you dont feel like eating much.

The 1st time you give in to a child is the day you seal your fete, to a parent its a one off, to a child its a free pass.

Children get far to much choice and far too much junk. Remove the cereal bars from his lunchbox, give him a sandwhich, grapes tomtoes, pitta breads with healthy fillings, carrot sticks, pasta. That way he cant get addicted to the sugar. He will be a happier child cos he's getting more vitamins and monerals.

Im a selective feeder, if i have a meal where the veg is seperate from everything else on my plate i wont touch it, but if its in a bolognaise, curry or soup i will gladly eat it. All this stems from my mum never feeding me anything healthy like veg when i was younger, so i grew up not, not liking it but being very unsure if its taste and texture. So as an adult i am having to learn to eat properly whilst at the same time making sure my children dont develop similar food issues.

Its also a good idea to not present your child with an entire full plate of new foods, if you want to intriduce new foods do itone thing at a time and when they have got used to that food introduce another.

If you want your child to eat more veg, disguise it in any way you can try blending it into a sauce, and as they get a bit older just start making the lumps bigger until it resembles full sized veg.

I have to do this with onions as i love them but my 7 year old hates them, and as soon as he has finished his tea, we alwyas tell him that he's just eaten onions, its more of a power struggle thing, can i getmy mum to give in etc etc.

Your not a bad mum, your normal, we all feel guilt, but you have to think whats best for your child in the long run, not just right here and now. Its easy to give in and hand over the choclate to keep them quiet etc but tommorrow they will be twice as loud if they dont get whatthey got yesterday.

Savvy_Sue

TJH wrote: »

My goodness, perhaps the poor thing fancied beans and toast and when they were presented he no longer fancied them?

When a child is old enough to buy, cook and clear away for him/herself, then they are old enough to eat what they fancy. Until then, they need to fit into whatever Mum or Dad is offering!

TJH wrote: »

I know I am going to get flamed here but are beans and toast a substantial main meal after a cereal bar and crisps at lunch? Where is the fruit and veg?

You obviously missed the huge sighs of relief issued by mums when we discovered that beans are good for you, they count as a vegetable! Full of fibre and nutrients.

Mine would get their fruit AFTER eating their main course. Or as a snack between meals.

ailuro2

beans beans are good for the heart
the more you eat .... OK you kow the rest:rotfl:

no, they really are good for you! Low GI, lycopene in the tomato sauce, rich in fibre and also a good source of protein. They are a fantastic all round food.

I would suggest putting the beans in a little bowl to the side so he can add them at his leisure next time if he doesn't like to see the burnt bits off the toast on his beans.