Am I being cruel?**UPDATED**

gunsandbanjos

Agree with you Pukkamum, also not giving my daughter 'far too much food'! She gets her lunch/dinner on a side plate, she gets child sized portions and sometimes eats it all and sometimes doesnt. I don't force the issue.

pukkamum

Zazen999 wrote: »

You shouldn't BE eating until you are full; that's the problem.

People need to eat alot less - then there wouldn't be such a lot of overweight people.

You feel full about 20 minutes after you are actually full; there should be an amount on the plate to sustain you and no more.

Perhaps you need to look at your portion sizes.

i did and am no longer overweight and i don't really mean full per se just satisfied.
And also how can i judge perfectly what would be the precise amount to satisfy the children?
They may have done a lot of excercise that day and need the extra or they may have had a less physical day and not need as much.
They need to learn themsleves when to stop eating and me making them eat all the plate full is not giong to do that.

Mellowyellow_2

mrcow wrote: »

As for the dinner - absolutely don't give him anything else. He gets his dinner, He eats his dinner. If he doesn't want it, then take the plate, scrape the dinner in the bin/compost and dinner is over.

That's it. No more food.

It's not cruel - it's the way it works.

I agree 100%. He had his chance, he didn't want it, tough luck son, you will eat it next time.

euronorris

Just something to consider, if this has been an ongoing problem. Yes, he could just be playing up, or, as in the case of my nephew, there could be a small problem making eating difficult. His tonsils were so large they were literally touching each other! So swallowing was both difficult and painful for him.

Of course, until this was picked up on, it looked as though he was just being picky. Turned out he was just choosing the softest and easiest option. Small op later and he's eating much better and with a lot more variety. Also meant they then checked his sister who had a similar problem, but not as bad as him.

I'm certainly not saying this is the case. Most likely it isn't. But a quick check of the inside of his mouth will rule out the possibility.

mrcow

CRANKY40 wrote: »

I'd just make him piece of toast or bread and butter. My ds knows that if he doesn't eat his dinner, the most he can expect before bed is either a piece of toast or a weetabix with milk. I wouldn't make him go without unless you want the 2am "I'm starving, can I have a sandwich?" call, but make it clear that there are no treats on offer if dinner is left, just a very plain substitute.

Just out of interest, what food is he asking for now?

:eek:

Caving in to the whims of a five year old is madness. What lesson are they learning?......that you are at their beck and call whenever they want to stamp their feet.

Are you seriously about "the 2am I want a sandwich" call? :eek: Tell me you're joking? (and about serving up Weetabix or buttery toast as a replacement when they have thrown their dinner back in your face?!)

pukkamum

samandona wrote: »

Perhaps there is too much food on her plate?

My SIL in European and alot of the food she feeds my neice and nephew is served as a buffet almost. Lots of small dishes that the children help themselves too. That way, they have learned to take what they can eat and not fill their plates in the first instance then not eat it.

OP - IMHO, I dont think you are being cruel. Your son sounds asthough he behaves like this because he knows he can get away with it. Tough love and all that

i would have to ask though sam how this is policed for example certainly with my kids they would take a plateful of their 'favourites' and none of the 'not so favourites' also if forced to take some of all the food on offer but got to choose the amounts they would have half a teaspoon of the least favourite food.:p

pukkamum

mrcow wrote: »

:eek:

Caving in to the whims of a five year old is madness. What lesson are they learning?......that you are at their beck and call whenever they want to stamp their feet.

Are you seriously about "the 2am I want a sandwich" call? :eek: Tell me you're joking? (and about serving up Weetabix or buttery toast as a replacement when they have thrown their dinner back in your face?!)

Precisley mrcow and when does it stop?
Do you serve up toast or weetabix every night when he refuses his regular food?
At what point do you stop and is this not even more cruel?

And also :eek: two am can i have a sandwich?
Not blummin likely get to bed!!!!!!:D

samandona

pukkamum wrote: »

i would have to ask though sam how this is policed for example certainly with my kids they would take a plateful of their 'favourites' and none of the 'not so favourites' also if forced to take some of all the food on offer but got to choose the amounts they would have half a teaspoon of the least favourite food.:p

Well, going along with the European herritage, the kids eat mostly healthy stuf anyway. Its just what they choose to eat. My nephew (now 10) has been eating Olives like they were chocolate buttons since he was about 2. And my neice (6) would choose carrot sticks and humous over anything else in the fridge. Strange children I know.

Yes, they eat chocolate, and if they go to a birthday party they eat cake. But my brother and SIL have, dare I say this, brought them up on a good diet and they have never been exposed to the rubbish some people feed their kids.

So with regards to policing - it just isnt needed. But saying that they are clearly the exception not the rule. These kids also speak 3 languages fluently!

liney

I'd be giving him a banana and milk about now, just before bed, and explaining that tomorrow he will not be getting supper unless he eats his tea. I think you will have made your point by now. Sandwich and fruit at lunch time, and no after school snacks should mean he is hungry enough to do that.

I think that sometimes we allow our children to graze a little too much and they don't appreciate what real hunger is.

Morgan_Ree

CRANKY40 wrote: »

I'd just make him piece of toast or bread and butter. My ds knows that if he doesn't eat his dinner, the most he can expect before bed is either a piece of toast or a weetabix with milk. I wouldn't make him go without unless you want the 2am "I'm starving, can I have a sandwich?" call, but make it clear that there are no treats on offer if dinner is left, just a very plain substitute.

Just out of interest, what food is he asking for now?

You must have a child sized thumb print on your head