Am I being cruel?**UPDATED**

Spongbong

Thanks for the replies; some stuff to think about there.

He's asleep now and we had a good bedtime without any fuss; I think he knew I wasn't going to give in. Still feel bad but am hoping he'll eat better tomorrow.

He's not overweight at all but he should be eating more fruit and veg. I shall be more strict about that now I've started being tougher with food.

Euronorris, you've given me something to think about actually because I noticed the other day that his tonsils were big in his throat and commented on it to my husband. He has also choked/gagged on food a few times lately which I've assumed was from eating too quickly but perhaps there's more to it. I shall mention it to the doctor, thanks.

Have to say though, this was a boy being picky rather than fearful.

Thanks again for your input folks. Appreciated.

jackomdj

If my children eat all their breakfast they can have a morning snack if not it is nothing till lunch time.
If they eat lunch they can have pudding (pud could be anything from fruit, yoghurt, jelly or cake)
Sometimes they get an afternoon snack if they have eaten lunch & breakfast.
If they eat dinner they can have pudding.
If they have eaten dinner they can have a snack before bed time.

Some days they will eat & eat & eat. Other days they hardly have anything. They know the rules (they are 5 & 3) & are happy for the other one to have pudding/snack when they are not able to.

Also sometimes they don't eat it all but have really tried (with something they are not too keen on for example my youngest does not really like bread but I give it to her & she will have some) & that counts as eating it so they get pudding or snack.

Stick to your guns. Put it in place now & you will find that they will eat better.

bylromarha

"Short term pain, long term gain" is our parenting motto.

Has been a mantra since birth.

We have sent our kids (5/3) to bed several times without dinner. Dinner is at dinner time, that's it. Eat it, don't eat it, your choice. There'll be no more food until breakfast.

DS also had a phase of eating the nice stuff in his lunch box - had to just send him with the basics a few days to remind him nice stuff is for the end of the meal, not the beginning.

pukkamum

samandona wrote: »

Well, going along with the European herritage, the kids eat mostly healthy stuf anyway. Its just what they choose to eat. My nephew (now 10) has been eating Olives like they were chocolate buttons since he was about 2. And my neice (6) would choose carrot sticks and humous over anything else in the fridge. Strange children I know.

Yes, they eat chocolate, and if they go to a birthday party they eat cake. But my brother and SIL have, dare I say this, brought them up on a good diet and they have never been exposed to the rubbish some people feed their kids.

So with regards to policing - it just isnt needed. But saying that they are clearly the exception not the rule. These kids also speak 3 languages fluently!

Hmmm still find it hard to believe they love every single piece of food put in front of them, perhaps sil only gives them their faves?
That can't be good.

My kids also love the healthy stuff and would eat a pile of brocolli over anything anyday and wouldn't touch a baked bean or the ilk but there are still things given a choice they wouldn't 'bother' eating.
I can't believe that she serves them olives and hoummus everyday for every meal!!!!!!
If i gave my children a 'buffet' of breadsticks, olives, hoummus etc every meal they would wolf it down!!!!

Kimberley

Mrcrow

Very very excellent posts. That was how I reared my kids because thats how my mum raised us kids and it works. If you let them wrap them around your finger at 5 years old then your in for a bumpy ride with them as teenagers.

mrcow

pukkamum wrote: »

If i gave my children a 'buffet' of breadsticks, olives, hoummus etc every meal they would wolf it down!!!!

Mine would sit and look at it like I'd served them up a plate of vomit.

Can't say I'd blame them - I only started to like olives once I turned 35 (and I've really tried in the past!).

There is a difference between someone turning their nose up at something that they honestly don't like/won't eat and someone refusing to eat something that you know is perfectly acceptable just because they are trying to dig their heels in.

If I was serving something new that was really different, I'd generally serve it with something else. My motto - try it, and if you really don't like it, you don't have to eat it. Dinner shouldn't be a complete ordeal (for anyone)

samandona

SIL and brother feed them (and always has done) a varied and healthy diet! Of course there are things they dont like. My nephew refuses, OUTRIGHT, to eat crisps, cabbage, celery..im sure there are other things. He just doesnt like them, which is fair enough. And my neice doesnt like baked beans atleast she didnt last time I tried to feed them to her!

My point was that their diet doesnt need "policing" because they dont, and never have, eaten crap food. There is no battle to get them to eat 'healthy' food, they just like eating stuff that is good for them! Im sure they like chips just as much as any other child (and adult...).

pukkamum wrote: »

I can't believe that she serves them olives and hoummus everyday for every meal!!!!!!

Although where did that bit come from? Did you just make it up?

MrCow - I agree about the olives. They are an aquired taste and my nephew is a strange child!

CRANKY40

mrcow wrote: »

:eek:
Are you seriously about "the 2am I want a sandwich" call? :eek: Tell me you're joking? (and about serving up Weetabix or buttery toast as a replacement when they have thrown their dinner back in your face?!)

Yes he did ask, and no he didn't get a sandwich - he got told to go back to sleep. My son is very skinny, doesn't eat sweets apart from the odd packet of chocolate buttons, and can't really afford to weigh less than he does. Having said that, I can't remember the last time he refused his dinner.

I was thinking mainly of the mother to be honest - at least if the child has some toast, mum will get a good night's sleep, and be ready to fight the battle that must surely be fought tomorrow. Nobody can be giving their child food that often and having it refused. I think she will need her wits about her if she is to make a plan and stick to it tomorrow.

pigpen

children naturally have large noticable tonsils.. so that is not a reason unless he is complaining of a sore throat/high temp etc he is fine!!

He is playing you for a mug quite definitely.

I'd have kept his plate in the microwave knowing he would be 'starving' later.. and warmed it up for him... there you go.. had it not been eaten then.. breakfast it would be... (possibly with sneaky fresh toast)

I have a severe aversion to food touching other food on my plate.. toast crumbs in my beans and I would be having fits.. I have mine on separate plates.. and my food is carefully arranged so it isn't touching anything else.. yes I make my children look grown up at times.. so I can smpathise with this.

Why are you asking him what he wants for dinner.. you cook.. he eats.. he not eats.. he goes hungry.. simple as..

He eats all his dinner.. he gets dessert (fruit or yoghurt or whatever)

As for packed lunches.. he gets a sandwich and nothing else.. when he starts eating all that THEN he can have fruit in there too...

I have possibly the pickiest children in the world.. what one will eat the ohers won't and vice versa.. if it is reasonable I will do something different.. eg. dd3 hates pizza so I will do her something she does like.. I won't starve them on purpose just because I like being evil.. but I won't be held to ransom over food!!

CRANKY40

Morgan_Ree wrote: »

You must have a child sized thumb print on your head

I didn't say I made him a sandwich, I only said he asked for one. There is no way I would make food for a child in the middle of the night. However, as I'm a widow coping on my own, and I prefer not to be awake in the middle of the night, if we've been out say to a friends and I think he hasn't had enough to eat for whatever reason, then I would give him toast or weetabix before bed.