Worst Day ever!

Fang_3

mikey72 wrote: »

Get back to reality, and try some common sense.

I'm very much in reality, as are the majority of people on this thread. You're the only one attempting to defend a man that has thrown his step-son out on the streets, stopped him from being able to stay with family, and is now blackmailing his wife by telling her that she has to choose between her son and her daughter.

Only someone broken in the head would defend that.

surreybased

Hi,

Please make sure your son knows he is welcome at home. There is something going on for him that you as parents need to address. Washing your hands of him is not the answer. I suppose your husband thinks this is 'tough love' but you are not actually fixing the problem. He is not an adult and cannot be treated like one.

Please work out WHAT is wrong? Yes, teenagers can be thoughless, selfish and lazy but working with them can really help. Is your partner very critical of your son? Low self esteem can be the cause of teenage rebellion.
Please, please fix this - tell your parents, go to your parents with the children if necessary. Arrange for counselling for yourself and partner and also family counselling. Your partner must learn to deal with parenting/discipline without resorting to throwing a child out of the home. Good Luck and keep us informed..don't let your partner make you believe that his discipline approach is the only way..talking, listening, fair and firm boundaries are the right approach

mikey72

OK, fair enough. Take Fangs advice. Your son is actually in the streets, and your daughter will be gone soon as well.
He must be divorced, see a solictor as soon as possible.
You can always meet someone else and re-marry.
Or seek a calm balanced solution, and ignore the insane knee jerk reactions that are telling you to throw it all away.

MrsE_2

SummerRain wrote: »

As others have said, your son should come before your hubby if the hubby is not the sons biological father. Go and get your son and tell your hubby to sling his hook and mind his own business.

Would it change if he was?

mikey72

Fang wrote: »

I'm very much in reality, as are the majority of people on this thread. You're the only one attempting to defend a man that has thrown his step-son out on the streets, stopped him from being able to stay with family, and is now blackmailing his wife by telling her that she has to choose between her son and her daughter.

Only someone broken in the head would defend that.

I'm not defending " a man ", I'd be saying the same if the op was a man, it's insane to throw away a marriage as you suggest, at this stage, but I do suspect you wouldn't be advising the same if the op was a man though.

aliasojo

muggi wrote: »

In a way and he said he would take my daughter if he went, he is a lovely man but very stubborn, im just in a mess.

Time for some honesty now. Is you husband generally a 'lovely' person and the rumpus with your son has brought the worst out in both of them right now, or is he generally quick to flare, bolshy in his attitude and is an unbending disciplinarian?

Different situations require different advice imo.

As for the other posters who are arguing, please guys, this is important to the OP, she's had enough of fighting, dont make it worse for her by doing the same thing here too.

shellsuit

He is 15 for fk sake ~ go and fetch him home!!

Your husband has no right to kick him out, this is your son, your CHILD.

Switch the PC off and get things sorted.

*shakes head*

Fang_3

mikey72 wrote: »

I'm not defeding " a man ", I'd be saying the same if the op was a man, it's insane to throw away a marriage as you suggest, at this stage, but I do suspect you wouldn't be advising the same if the op was a man though.

Actually I would. And have done on different threads. You've hit the nail on the head though, if protecting her son, which should be her first priority, will cause the marriage to be thrown away, then there are much bigger problems than this.

No decent person would expect a mother or father to put them before their child.

muggi

aliasojo wrote: »

or is he generally quick to flare, bolshy in his attitude and is an unbending disciplinarian?

Sounds like you know him! lol but he has a good side to, he said he has had enough and cant take anymore and this is making him turn into someone nasty who he does not want to be.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

muggi wrote: »

In a way and he said he would take my daughter if he went, he is a lovely man but very stubborn, im just in a mess.

That's not lovely, that's abuse.

Honestly, do you really want to choose a bully like that over your children?