Oh no!!!!!!

newcook

I would be wary about putting plywood underneath – what if it rips the inside as they ‘sit’ down? Or worse, if they break the wood in 2?!?!!?

Either hide the new sofas or meet at Old Trafford centre as another OP suggested.

SugarSpun

csh wrote: »

Just a thought, can you cover them and plastic and tell them you've had a stain resistant coating applied due to the kids and it needs time to dry before you can sit on them?? LOL

I would have suggested this if you hadn't got there first - lightening the load on the sofas still means a large amount of unnecessary weight on them. Better just to make the room off limits with some sort of "work in progress" ruse.

Call ahead and let them know about it, you know, sort of Oh no I'm so sorry, this has happened, would you like to sit with us in the garden or would you prefer to head straight on to the Trafford Centre? If they want to see you, suggest meeting them there, maybe.

I wouldn't want anyone who was likely to break furniture sitting on mine either. A friend of mine broke the arm of my rocking chair on Tuesday - I was gutted.

blabberwort

I see both sides to this having a hugely overweight mother. She put on weight initially when she got ill, but used it as an excuse to pile on the pounds. My MIL has exactly the same wrong with her (well at the time anyway, my mum has other things wrong now too) and although was bigger than the average (if theres such a thing) she made a concerted effort to lose weight and exercise when she could. My mum is huge now because of using her illness as an excuse, and now I believe she genuinely couldnt exercise even if she wanted to.

Years ago when me and OH went to spend a few days at his mums we asked my mum to stay and dog sit. We were expecting a new bed to be delivered, and my mum in her wisdom decided to sit on it when it arrived. It broke and she never admitted it was her. We obviously couldnt get it replaced and had to put up with it until we could afford to replace it. Not happy bunnys, but we held our tongue because sometimes you just have to.

On the other hand we do laugh about her weight, not really because it's particularly funny. It's more frustration and if we didnt laugh we'd cry. We have offered support any time she's "supposedly" been on a diet but a waste of time.

Theres no easy way to solve this without hurting someones feelings unless you lie. I dont normally like liars lol, but I do think sometimes there is a necessity for it to save hurting feelings or causing rifts.

I would go with the others about plywood.

I hope you find a solution and for anyone who thinks people are being fatist or whatever the word is then put yourself in the OP's shoes. She and her OH have spent money on something only to perhaps have it broken because of weight issues. I understand totally about how you dislike them too but are willing to put a face on for your childrens sake.

I guess on the bright side if you dislike them that much, at least theyre a decent distance away and you dont have to make constant excuses to them visiting

Edit - Just wanted to add that after a comment about weight and uncleanliness, not everyone obese is unable to wash. Theres a decent lot of stuff available to aid with keeping yourself clean. I do think it's a bit judgemental that some people put everyone obese into the category of being unclean. Some people are yes, but definently not all.

pukkamum

Emmzi wrote: »

My fat is a result of my periodic depression. Depressed = weight on, good spell = weight off. Alternative = anti depressants, and it can be a judgement call whether the effects of them are right for an individual at any given time, and depends on what causes the depression.

I think unless you have been through it yourself it is very, very easy to be judgemental.

If it were as simple as people on this board suggest, no one intelligent would ever be overweight.

But, it's complicated.

And assuming others will judge you by your fat relatives (being ashamed to go out it public) - well shame on you! Not much milk of human kindness here, is there.

I never said i was ashamed i said DH was and it isn't just about them being fat as i said before i myself was 7 stone overweight for a long time, DH is ashamed of their smelliness and the fact that they wear very scruffy clothes and generally don't even bother brushing their hair.

I also suffered from depression it didn't make me fat my fat made me depressed.

Mutter_2

I hate liars too blabberwort, but think of this as tact rather than lies.

I would imagine, once the weight gets to be that great, it would feel an impossible task to shift it. Not like losing a few pounds because your waistband is uncomfortable.

I remember going into a restaurant in France and a family falling about laughing and gesturing at my ex husband's size. He didn't even notice it, and although the family were very rude, I did feel excruiatingly embarrassed and he was 18 stone.

emsywoo123

pukkamum wrote: »

their smelliness and the fact that they wear very scruffy clothes and generally don't even bother brushing their hair.
.

I know OT a bit, but this bit really stuck out for me.
There are plenty of o/weight (to varying degrees) people, but very few who are unkempt to this extent.
I was just wondering if the lack of personal hygiene or obesity came first, and if/how they are related.
Backs to lurksville.

pukkamum

emsywoo123 wrote: »

I know OT a bit, but this bit really stuck out for me.
There are plenty of o/weight (to varying degrees) people, but very few who are unkempt to this extent.
I was just wondering if the lack of personal hygiene or obesity came first, and if/how they are related.
Backs to lurksville.

well to be honest cleanliness has never been next to godliness for this family never has been, the last time we visited i ended up cleaning the kitchen before i could bear to cook any food for the kids in it.
This is coming from someone who is not a clean freak in any shape or form!!!!!!
I have known plenty of overweight people who look very presentable at all times and in fact make a point of it!

patchwork_cat

pukkamum wrote: »

Exactly i would never be rude to them i myslef four years ago lost seven stone after a lifetime of obesity so am well aware of how easy it is to get into that state but i also know that reversing it can be done with some willpower and a lot of encouragement.
When we lived closer to them i would take them swimming with me (they would just sit in the shallow end and chat) and to my weight watchers classes but they ridiculed it and claimed to be perfectly happy.
I feel i have done my bit as far as they are concerned and now we as a family have to sit back and watch them eat themselves to death.
I blame MIL but thats another tale!!!!!!

I think everyone's attitude is appalling and you are the worst.You have lost 7 stone and therefore know that it is not easy. Obesity is a disease. Not everyone becomes overweight through greed.

Depression does cause weight gain even though most Dr's have weight loss on their depression checklist - IMO it should say weight change. Obesity doesn't cause depression not clinical depression, but weight gain can be a sideeffect and does make depression worse. Depression is not feeling a bit low - it is week after week of having no interest in anything.

It can be slow and insidious and it can also be an outward manifestation of childhood trauma. The difference between a fat person and a thin person is when their overweight alarm bell goes off.

How many of you poking fun have been on a diet in the last 2 years? Did you lose the same stone that you lost the year before and have you put it back on again, yes I thought so.

The difference with someone whose alarm bell didn't go off early enough is it is VERY difficult to stay on a diet for more than 6 weeks and if you have more than a stone to lose 6 weeks is not long enough, so they lose that same stone again and again just like everyone else, unfortunately it makes no difference.

Just tell your OH's family that they remind you too much of what you were and you don't want to see them anymore. If you lost 7 stone chances are you were 16 stone + so are in no position to throw stones.

A side effect of depression can be weight gain, not vice versa.

elfen

It is easy to gain that sort of weight to put you in a position of where you feel bad, so you eat to compensate. But OP has said that at various times they have been invited swimming or to WW, and choose themselves to do nothing about it, and probably would not listen to the advice of their GP on the same subject. Yes, I used to be bigger (due to medication) but I'm trying my damndest to get back down to a weigh I'm happy at. Whatever I said, I was NEVER happy being fat - I would never be happy weighing what these three weigh, in fact I think I'd be having severe words about healthy eating with my GP sharpish!

andrealm

I don't think the OP is unreasonable in worrying about her new sofa, I'm sure nobody would want to risk a new sofa being broken. I know I wouldn't. Can you make some sort of excuse such as telling them the new sofas haven't been delivered yet and arrange to meet them at the Trafford Centre?

I know you said your DH doesn't like to be seen out with them (which seems a bit silly to me) but isn't he worried about the sofas too?

I suppose when people get to a certain size it becomes difficult to do anything about it as they have difficulty exercising and when people are very overweight I'd imagine there are often psychological issues that lead to them overeating. If they've been brought up by a family where everyone overeats it's probably difficult to break the cycle and learn to eat normally.

Out of interest, were they apologetic or embarrassed when they broke your old sofa?