Oh no!!!!!!

Mutter_2

mrcow wrote: »

Then why have them around at all? You obviously hold them in complete contempt.

Why not just be honest rather than be so discourteous behind someone's back?

You must know that is a lot easier said than done. It is not holding someone in complete contempt at all. We humans keep ourselves clean not only for our own sake, but for the comfort of others.

To be so obese means folds of flesh which may well harbour fungal infection which absolutely reeks.

I would never criticise something that can't be remedied, such as height or lack of it for instance. But when someone is so obese they can't keep themselves clean, it's time to put the brakes on. Or rather, keep the pantry door locked.

Rather than OP having complete contempt for them, I suggest they must have complete contempt for themselves and others, to have got in such a state.
Just a thought, apart from the obvious danger of having to anesthetize that weight, are you aware that an op costs far more on the morbidly obese, as all special instuments are needed? Sometimes sent home as too dangerous to operate at all.

I do think they need help every bit as much as those who starve themselves, as I not convinced they see themselves as grossly overweight the same as an anorexic doesn't see themselves as too thin.

I think shandyclover's solution is the most plausible.

clairehi

Have you got accidental damage cover on your house contents insurance.

Obviously you would not want to make a claim due to someone fat sitting on your sofa but it might give you (some) peace of mind.
You would think that after the last sofa breaking incident that reality would have dawned but unfortunately people who are that size are often in a state of total denial and have psychologically manouvred themselves into a state where they genuinely believe they are powerless to do anything about it. It is impossible to believe from the outside, but it is entirely possible to convince yourself that there is a reason not to do just about anything to lose weight.

I speak from experience of a close family member here who always had an answer why she could not take up any possible suggestion of things she could do to improve her health. She broke a plastic garden chair while sitting down at a neighbour's party. It took 2 people to get her up and out of the chair as she was physically unable. She was also unable to walk more than a few steps due to her weight and could not actually sit down on a low sofa as she could not get up again, therefore had to sit on a dining chair instead.
In fact thats a point - will your fat rellies be able to make it up out of the sofa, if not then problem solved.

SammiD

Or just tell them if they brake it they buy it! LOL!

pukkamum

Britwife wrote: »

I feel that you should be honest about what happened to your old sofa and ask them not to pounce down on the sofas. You don't have to tell them that you feel they are fat and smelly, just tell them about what happened with the old sofa.

I'm 14 stone down from 19 stone and working hard at it but I would want to know if I had damaged something and I would for sure make a note of not doing it again. It may be akward but they will get over it and you can relax. Make sure they all don't sit on the same sofa.

There is no need for rudeness

Obesity is a disease that really needs medical assistance to help get them on track. However, they have to be willing to do it and it sounds like they may never do it. It really is sad because all they have to do is make a call to their gp and they could get a discount gym pass, weight watchers, or perhaps another scheme in their area. I don't do any of those but I do visit with my health nurse to weigh in and see how I'm doing. I feel amazing and I work out 6 days a week. I'd love to get a hold of them but maybe you could share the information. Tell them that you want them to be around to see your children grow up.

Exactly i would never be rude to them i myslef four years ago lost seven stone after a lifetime of obesity so am well aware of how easy it is to get into that state but i also know that reversing it can be done with some willpower and a lot of encouragement.
When we lived closer to them i would take them swimming with me (they would just sit in the shallow end and chat) and to my weight watchers classes but they ridiculed it and claimed to be perfectly happy.
I feel i have done my bit as far as they are concerned and now we as a family have to sit back and watch them eat themselves to death.
I blame MIL but thats another tale!!!!!!

blunther

Britwife wrote: »

Obesity is a disease that really needs medical assistance

I think that's pretty insulting to those with actual diseases. Obesity is caused by more calories consumed than expended. No medical assistance is necessary. Eat better, move more. Yeah, it's tough, but so's life.

pukkamum

blunther wrote: »

I think that's pretty insulting to those with actual diseases. Obesity is caused by more calories consumed than expended. No medical assistance is necessary. Eat better, move more. Yeah, it's tough, but so's life.

I do agree with this it's not a disease it's a lifestyle choice.

cherub1965

pukkamum wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
loving all the suggestions unfortunately sitting in the garden is out as they have a 'sweating problem' when hot !!!!!!:eek:

ewww,that just made my stomach turn,the thought of big sweaty pools everywere.lol.i think i would tell them you were going to a christening or somat,maybe meet them at trafford for a coffee.:rotfl:

cherub1965

Mutter wrote: »

I don't envy you pukkamum. Obese, sweaty outlaws only coming to visit as they want to go shopping.
I have a so called friend who offered to call in on her way to visit someone else. Told her not to bother. When I visit friends or relatives it's because I want to see them, not because they are a convenient stop along the way.

My remedy was to be move the old stuff in, but you say the council are taking it.

I've often wondered how people of that size keep themselves clean, after the loo for instance. After all, as one gets fatter, the arms don't get longer to reach around do they? Or is that information overload?

how about a stick with a moist sponge on the end? retractable? i might just invent that and copyright it,lol:D

Emmzi

My fat is a result of my periodic depression. Depressed = weight on, good spell = weight off. Alternative = anti depressants, and it can be a judgement call whether the effects of them are right for an individual at any given time, and depends on what causes the depression.

I think unless you have been through it yourself it is very, very easy to be judgemental.

If it were as simple as people on this board suggest, no one intelligent would ever be overweight.

But, it's complicated.

And assuming others will judge you by your fat relatives (being ashamed to go out it public) - well shame on you! Not much milk of human kindness here, is there.

Apricot

The thing is even if you put plywood underneath, do you want them sweating all over your sofa?? Personally I would just cover the new sofas in plastic wrap and pretend that they are dodgy and have to go back.
I really feel for you OP!