Move mortgage mountain project

julliff

hmm, yes, it is so easily done, I must be more careful!

Yes, squirrel, it is lovely to have her home. My girls are the one thing I am sure of, and give reason to my life.

I am feeling very angsty this evening. Canoe man has asked me to meet him on Thursday. I have said yes, but now am feeling sick about it. I can't even say why. I am a mess, I know I am a mess, but I can't tell anyone that in RL. I think because DD2 said "you have a date" and I said "It's not a date". But then I started to worry, what if it is a date, I don't think I can cope. Maybe I should cancel. Oh dear, I am rambling on...so sorry.

I can't even explain how I feel. It's like I have to hide away, and then I will feel safe. Yup, I am definitely an emotional cripple. Sigh!

Alchemilla

Ok you have a friend. If he wants it to be more than friends it is up to you if and how fast or slow that happens. If he wants to move things on faster than you are happy with then he reveals a side of his nature that some people might not accept. Chill.xxx

gallygirl

He already knows you're barking mad remember . And seen you in your wet suit and not been put off . He's obviously not going to go away so resign yourself to your fate. Just chill and go with the flow, don't over-analyse.

And breathe...........

Secret_Saving_Squirrel

And what is wrong with having a date anyway? Seems quite likely that he would like to be more than a friend. Might be nice......

Magsnoodle

Hello you,

The text to canoe man made me laugh out loud. How lovely was his response though? At least he will be someone to make you laugh.

Enjoy having DD1 back - sounds like she is growing up and appreciating what you do.

Take care xx

greent

Just enjoy it - don't fret beforehand about something you're unsure about. If you enjoy each other's company (and it seems like you do) then just go with the flow x


ps: love GG noting and pointing out the wetsuit bit - made me snort with laughter! (in a good way, I should add!) xx

julliff

Hi

Thank you all for your comments and encouragement. Squirrel, what's wrong with a date? Well, probably nothing for most people. I am so terrified because I have made some bad choices, and I mean really bad, some of which are still causing me anguish right now. It would take so long to try to explain. Abusive husbands, obsessive stalker types, weird men..
I can't bear the thought of any more hurt. It feels sometimes like a rock and a hard place.

Anyway, it looks like it is all academic now, as I have just had a text from him saying that he has been taken ill, and may have to cancel tomorrow. I think it may be a brush off. I have not replied yet.

There is something else in my life which is causing a lot of pain. All my own fault, and I have to deal with it. I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it, and so I don't seem to be able to gain any perspective on it.

Sorry I am so whingy, will go away til I stop feeling so low

XX

gallygirl

Don't go away - feeling low is ok so don't hide.

The important thing about relationships is that you've realised a pattern so will be watchful in future. I know some people who had a number of very bad relationships and are now very happy so the pattern can be broken! Don't be so quick to brush him off - people do get sick you know, poor soul may be thinking 'oh no, she'll think I'm brushing her off' :cool:.

Take care.

GG x

julliff

Thanks Gallygirl,

It is very sweet of you.

Well, having slept on things, I feel better. I am not that upset about this chap, after all, I hardly know him. And at least I can stop wondering if it is a date or not!

I really need to sort out the other "thing" that is casting a shadow over my life. As I can't talk about it to anyone, maybe I should invest in some counselling to get past it. Will ponder that some more.

Onwards and upwards.

skint_spice

I think he's probably just ill too, it was his idea after all.

Also investing in counselling might be the best investment ever, even more so than OPing the mortgage if it helps you get peace of mind.

Keep posting, especially if it helps straighten things out in your mind.