please please help me

daisyboo

we dont live in the same town anymore i live with my parents and the loan is with the bank i have all my other accounts with my whole family have accounts with them. why should I run wouldn't that mean him winning hasn't he put me through enough, besides i need to stay here to do my teacher training next year

rainbowrisin

If you are skint then you will get legal aid for an injunction if there are sufficient grounds to go for one. I'm pretty sure on that as I had to go down that route myself. I agree with the poster who says record everything and show the texts to the police - they may be able to charge him with something and put him on police bail with conditions to keep away from you and not contact you until the matter goes to court. This will cost you absolutely nothing. I don't know about legal aid for the property side of things - the solicitor will tell you about it.
Do not forgive this idiot. He's showing his true colours now and you are better off out of it IMHO. The man's a menace!!
About running - it depends on how scared you are. If you feel his threats are genuine and you are in danger, then you need to make yourself safe - whether that means getting legal measures put in place to keep him away, or doing a runner. You know your ex better than any of us, and need to use your own judgement. Your safety HAS to be the priority tho, and if that means re-locating then go for it.

daisyboo

thank you all for advice im off to bed to get some sleep and think through everything. all I can say is thank you all for letting me get it all out and discuss with someone else. I had started to think that maybe I do owe him for leaving. Night x

Dumbledore55

daisyboo wrote:

thank you all for advice im off to bed to get some sleep and think through everything. all I can say is thank you all for letting me get it all out and discuss with someone else. I had started to think that maybe I do owe him for leaving. Night x

You owe him nothing and I wouldn't run away because you'll always be wondering when the bank will catch up with you.

You can get an hours free legal advice from the CAB - take that and then review your options.

Good luck and I hope you manage to sleep.

DD x

gingercordial

daisyboo wrote:

thank you all for advice im off to bed to get some sleep and think through everything. all I can say is thank you all for letting me get it all out and discuss with someone else. I had started to think that maybe I do owe him for leaving. Night x

You owe him NOTHING, he is the one who cheated on you, or even if he didn't go all the way with her then he certainly acted in a way to hurt you and betray your trust. You gave him your love and trust and that is worth far more than any amount of extra money he put into the relationship, so he owes you really! :mad:

If he has been paying the loan up til now then he's the first person the bank will look to for payment. They will only come after you if he stops paying. They can't make you pay him anything. But get that joint account frozen!

Hope you can sleep alright, I know I'm always terrible at getting to sleep when I'm stressed! But come back here tomorrow, someone's always around to talk.

kenshaz

Running away from home because of £2000 is a little drastic,speak to your Mum and Dad could they lend you the money,start afresh ,some lessons have been learnt he is just hurt and being silly,this is a domestic the police will not be interested.

hobo28

I agree with Ken that running away for a £2k loan is too drastic. But please don't borrow money off anyone. The loan is for £4k and even if you did pay off half, there's nothing to stop him from not paying the rest and you'd STILL be liable for the loan.

Don't pay a penny. He's liable just as much as you so from that perspective its a hollow threat. Only if it came to it, he has capital in the car for the bank to repossess whereas you don't.

He's just trying to bully you into taking him back which is a rather perverse way of winning someone back and do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a muppet like that?

Iona_Penny

I am not sure but if you had taken the finance from a garage finance company then you could prove the money was used to buy the car; if you paid a garage with a bankers draft then you could prove it was used to buy a car. The problem as I see it is that there is a joint personal loan that could have been spent on anything.
It is not useful I know for you at the moment, but posters are right that you jointly AND individually liable for the WHOLE debt. I am sorry for your situation now and can only suggest you go to CAB and speak to someone for what steps you can take now.

Gorgeous_George

Ignore him. Change your sim card. Walk away.

Ask a solicitor to write to him saying you owe him nothing. The loan is for HIS car and that you will not pay it unless the bank chase you because he has defaulted on the loan. Copy the letter to your bank manager.

Smile. Be happy in the knowledge that you have had a lucky escape. If necessary, tell his parents what their darling little son is trying to do or have a friend 'accidentally' tell them.

He should be so ashamed of himself. You must be strong. If someone tried this on with my daughter, I would deal with it on her behalf.

Best wishes

George

Petal_3

Hi hun

Sorry to hear that you're going through this.

If I were you, I would call my mobile provider and tell them you're receiving nuisance calls and ask for your number to be changed. I did this to escape a lunatic "best friend" once. Unfortunately, you are jointly liable for the loan. I assume the bank know where you are since you've changed address? Do nothing and wait to hear from them. Even if you end up going to court, it will come to light that you aren't able to pay and your situation may be looked upon favourably???

Good Luck
~x~