please please help me

daisyboo

Can I just ask the bank to take my name off the joint account even if its overdrawn? Thank you so much for all your support

tomstickland

So, the loan is in both names, he has the car and expects you to pay half of the loan. No way. He's obviously not capable of logical thought at the moment.

I'm not sure of how to resolve everything in the long term, but whilst he's in this frame of mind any attempt to discuss will be in vain. I think the best course of action in the short term is to prevent him from harassing you. Ignore all calls/texts until he calms down.

daisyboo

Gorgeous_George wrote:

Worst case, you have learnt that your bf is not the man you thought he was. Well worth losing a few grand! Whatever you end up losing, hold your head up high. Revenge is a sweet best served cold. Bide your time.



GG

I dont have a few grand. Like I said I was a student whilst with him so I now have student loans to pay off also Im trying to save so I can do a teaching course next year I need every penny. He knows this and I think thats why he is doing it.

Will the small claims court not see this as a petty stupid case and that i'm just a stupid little girl for every agreeing to having a joint loan so its my fault and face up to it "his words"

daisyboo

The thing is whilst I was at uni in first year I was really skint so he would pay for train trips to visit him and food sometimes, also when we moved into our flat he used his isa for ome furniture and bond etc. He thinks he has put alot more money into the relationship than me and he should get it back. I don't know how he can think like this becasue I used nearly most of my student loand on us when we lived toger and worked whilst doing my course at uni the majority of this money went on us too. He knows the only way to get money out of me is through the loan.

Its just once stupid circle, im sorry to keep going on and thank you for your help its so good to be able to talk to someone else about this. I want to bash his car to epices like you see in the movies, its his pride and joy

ooobedoo

I think the most important thing to remember here that he is quite obviously a bully, and the only way he has any power over you is financial...you have proved that you wouldn't be a victim when he cheated on you(if he intended to ask you to marry him as he has since said, why did he cheat??).

The only way to deal with a bully is with stength.

Good Luck, might be worth while telling him you will only communicate with him with letters etc etc, keep a record.

rainbowrisin

If you have a joint loan then you are both jointly liable for paying it back.
If he can proove he has put money into the relationship - for example if there is clear evidence he financed home improvements, or paid utilties or similar, then it may be that he is entitled to some monies now that the relationship is ended.
I would suggest you do the following - contact the bank, explain the situation and ask that either a stop is put on the acct or that your name is removed. Contact the loan company and explain the situation and ask if they could suspend payments for 3 months, say, whilst you try and sort the situation out.
Go and see a solicitor for two reasons - firstly to get proper advice on the property issue and secondly to get an injunction out against the tXXt, preferably with powers of arrest. Explain about the blackmail and take advice from the solicitor. It is well out of order to be threatening you. Do not be bullied. You do not have to put up with that sort of behaviour.
I would suspect that once you get a solicitor involved and start playing hard ball your ex will run a mile.
Hope some of that is of use. Good luck.

djohn2002uk

daisyboo wrote:

I dont have a few grand. Like I said I was a student whilst with him so I now have student loans to pay off also Im trying to save so I can do a teaching course next year I need every penny. He knows this and I think thats why he is doing it.

Will the small claims court not see this as a petty stupid case and that i'm just a stupid little girl for every agreeing to having a joint loan so its my fault and face up to it "his words"

No, you sue him in the small claims court for half the value of the car.
You could tell him your intentions and say you will drop it if he signs a letter offering to pay the whole of the loan. You can then get him to go to the bank and get you removed off the loan.

hum_lovely

I am sorry to hear of the situation, you are obviously very upset and frightened. There is a lot of advice on this forum and although I don't know what your standing is on the loan, I would go to your local Citizens Advice Bureau on Tuesday morning (as suggested further up on this thread). They will find useful any documents you might have about the loan and may not be able to advise you without those. I am sure they would strongly advise against any kind of wheel clamping etc (and smashing the car up, though I can see why you are tempted!). They will also tell you how to approach the bank, which can sometimes make a difference. They may even contact the bank for you fi they are not too busy, to find out where you stand if they cannot tell from looking at the loan contract.

Let us know how you go on.

daisyboo

ooobedoo: apparently to him he didn't chest on me. The story is he went out one night and made 'friends' with this girl, he went round to her house and they has cosy nights in with videos and pizza ' at the same time not being able to afford to buy me even a valentines card' i aslo found lets call unsuitable pictures and text on his phone from her and found out he used to call he when i was asleep "now i know why he used to say you look tired go to bed and ill be in after this programme" He says he never touched her so its not cheating. all the while he was with her i thought he was at a night course run by his work "yes im guilable"
when we split he then started saying he loved me and never thought he was a one woman guy untill a few weeks before we slit he realised he wanted to marry me and was saving for a ring "the reason he was not paying off his debt in our joint account supposidly" So after all this it is me who has ruined his future and hurt him emotionally he says he should now hurt me financially.

Rainbow: wouldn't lawers and stuff all cost money, which I dont have. I dont even have any documentation for this loan he told me he made sure he had it when we moved out in case we ever split up (if thats not blackmail I dont know what is)

lol this is meant to be a quick reply box,

daisyboo

thank you all so much for your replies, I will go to the citizens advice bureo on tuesday I didn't even think of them as I thought this wasn't that type of issue.