Please help me im now desperate - and now sacked from my job

Mirtos

angelsam1984 wrote:

I dont really think its a case of leaving him seriously!
Sam

I do. Just to recap, 1)he mentally/verbally abuses you about your past and your appearance. 2) you seem to imply this abuse has turned physical in the past and may do again 3)you are scared of him, scared to tell him the truth. 4)your daughter had no school uniform and he continues to waste money on booze and fags, while refusing to get a job 5)His family also abuse you and undermine you.For godssake, LEAVE HIM NOW before anything truly terrible happens. If he HAS hit you, please report it, or if he does so again. They WILL NOT take your daughter from you to lodge her with a jobless, violent man, and while you live and are responsible enough for her, his family have no claim for custody. Please. My sister had 2 kids with a violent, abusive, controlling, bullying drunk, and it took him nearly killing her for her to finally leave. She has a lovely council house and a job she likes now, and finally neither she nor her kids are scared to go home. Please don't stay out of fear of the unknown - it sounds like you're living with the monsters, so it can only get better outside.

lavidaloca

Big hugs to Maria932 and Sarymclary for telling us her story. Please Maria you and your daughter are worth so much more than the life you are living. Leave him and his debts behind and get a life of your own. I know it won't be easy and will be scary but you cannot go on living like this. There will be plenty of help for you - you only have to post here even if you think it is a trivial question someone will answer. Take care.

Red_Fraggle_3

Maria - Only you can decide when to leave - I know I was in the same position as you - please don't show your OH this thread it won't help anything. You have to remember everything you have achieved - he says those things because he knows they will upset you - keep you in your place -he won't do anything he kow's you will - if you do leave go somewhere you will be safe - for me it's 4 years on - I asked for money help for my daughter a few weeks ago - NO and he started to threaten again - in the end it's not worth it but I have paid the bills off - if you split you don't have to worry about his - Good luck - if you want to talk to me please pm - I don't want to bombard you when you have so much on - but if I can help I will - All the best

MrsTinks

Maria hun you say you're stuck in a rut, scared of what will happen if you leave etc... You know it scares me ten times as much that you are frightened of the one person in your life you should be able to turn to for safety, warmth and love! He isn't a husband sweetheart, he's no more a husband than some stranger in the street if he isn't there for you. And do you want your daughter to grow up thinking it's ok to be treated like you are when she grows up? If you won't walk away for your own sake walk away for the sake of your daughter. Call the womens shelters they are all around and they will find you a safe place and put in you contact with the right people.

If your relationship with your husband can be saved he needs to put some serious effort in because it takes 2 to tango and at the moment he's not even near the dance lesson!

We'll all be here for you but please think about leaving him if you are afraid of him...

maria932

I havent read any of your post yet i just thought you should all know the latest.
Went to CAB, i wasted my time, would only give me 15min of their time even though I had waited 3 and a half hours. I saw the lday and all it was was excuses. I got no-where with them. The only time I have ever asked for help and im getting it thrown in my face.
It fells like ive only been put here for one reason and that is for people to hurt me. it doesnt matter how hard i try or what i do for others, everytime i try it gets thrown back in my face.
I tried calling the courts up from my work mobile to see if i can get any discounts on going bankrupt. the response was i have to wait till i receive the info pack and that will tell me the correct numbers to ring.

The only good thing is hubby got off his !!! and had an interview yesturday, he got the job, he is training for 3 days and he starts next week.

Mrs_Optimist

Hi Maria - havent been on for a few days as have been busy with working, school runs etc. GOOD NEWS that your husband is finally working, lets just hope that some of his incomce passes your way to help with the debts before he squanders it.

Your FIL sounds like he may be of support to you, MIL has probably spoilt her son for so long that he feels its your job to take over and support him now. FIL sounds like he has a different view though.

Hope your daughter has started school now and is settling in well.

Remember, on this website you are NEVER alone!

maria932

Yes she started school today, she could not wait to go.

He is so lazy, on my day off im running around like a looney, there are no clothes in the awrdrobe as he wont put the clothese away, the house is a mess it looks as if a bomb as hit it.

I would really like a cuddle, and to be told it is all going to be ok. I would like it from a mum who cared but she doesnt, i spoke to her yesturday and she makes it so obvious that she dont care and blames it on me for what happened to my brothers and I when we were children.
What i really want is to be loved and to be cared for

I probably do feel sorry for myself as some of you may be saying, but im so unhappy with my life, i look forward to coming on here as people either feel sorry for me and are showing they care or they actually are there for me. (I know you all care)

I have started making mistakes at work as im so tired and I had a warning yesturday, I burst in to tears in front of them and explained the whole situation, she went straight to the director. i dont know what is happening now with my main job

beanielou

Hiya Maria

Yes, we care about you.
You care about yourself as well and your daughter cares as well.Thats more than some poeple have.;you will get through this
Sorry you had such a poor response at CAB
Stay strong
Hope job is ok
Huggles
Lou xx

jen30_2

HI Maria,

Sorry you had a bad day at work yesterday and with the CAB today but am so glad your OH has got a job. Have you tried emailing cccs or payplan if you can't phone them?

Big Hugs:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Hope your daughter enjoyed her 1st day at school. My youngest DS starts on friday.

maria932

thank you for the support, im glad i have you all to help me throught the bad times.

I hope one day I can do it for you