Please help me im now desperate - and now sacked from my job

jen30_2

Hi Maria,

I don't have anything to add. Just hope you are ok and wanted to bump this up near the top again.

Reya

(((Maria)))

I couldn't comment this morning, as I didn't have time to read this entire thread before leaving for work.

I can't add anything more to the brilliant advice that's already been given, but I will say that from my own experience (relatives in the forces) the Army/RAF/Navy takes care of everything for its men. They live what is basically a single life when they're posted away, with their daily allowances frittered away on booze and fags etc, and coming back from months abroad to wife and family and home and bills is a hell of a shock. Your hubby, having come out of the Army is probably experiencing that same head-in-the-sand shock (hence things like chucking away the bills, unread), although that doesn't in any way excuse his (or his family's) behaviour.

Is there any free club or group within your local community that you could take your daughter to, maybe at the weekend, just so you can have a little bit of quality time alone with her? Perhaps a reading group at the local library, or a mother and toddler or playgroup session somewhere? Just being able to mix with new people, with the chance to chat to others in person and perhaps even make a friend or two, would do you the world of good and might boost your self-confidence. Look on your library's notice board or ask one of the librarians, and also check the "what's on" section in any free local papers that you might get (your library will also have all the daily national and local newspapers, too). There's lots of freebies and cheap things to do, even if it's only a coffee morning at the church hall on a Saturday.

Many hugs from me, and I'm bumping this thread up to the top of the board to keep the support coming for you.

Mirtos

Hi Maria. It's really hard to comment on peoples lives without knowing the full story, but on what you've told us, my gut reaction is to get out and get out now. You are doing everything you can to keep your head above water, and it seems to me that your husband is going to drown you! I know that there is a child involved which complicates these things, but I really think you should take some time to think about what you want and need from your life, and whether you are able to acheive it while supporting your partner. Financially, you've come to the right place and once you post a full SOA (see southern scousers guide for first time posters thread at the top of the forum) including all your debts and interest rates, people will be able to help you get sorted. However, more importantly, I think you need to make efforts to resolve your personal problems with your husband and your current situation - even if that means getting the hell out of there. On a personal note, it sounds like your husband and his family are behaving despicably. If all you say is truth, I can have nothing but contempt for people who should be supportive of you and your history, not using your past to belittle and intimidate you. This bullying is just another kind of abuse. Don't stand for it hon. You can do better and be happier.xxx

thriftykatie

I discovered this site a couple of weeks ago and already taken some of the points on board, but reading your posts Maria I have registered. I owe more in total than you but fortunately have a reasonably good income and a supportive family and friends around me. I have not yet totalled all my debts but will do so, but from reading the posts I know that it is not an impossible dream to become debt free, even if it is many years away.

My heart goes out to you, but I am also heartened by all the words of support. I have decided to do the grocery challenge and felt a great sense of achievement today to get some bargains today and also realise that I can shop within a budget and save money towards paying off my debts. I love cooking and am going to sit down this evening and do some menu plans.

I often send naughty emails to my BF telling him about my fantasies and also what I hope will happen when we meet so I am going to edit them into stories and hopefully make more money.

I have looked on the Desire website - did you find any of the other links? I tried on google but no luck. I have quite a few potential stories here but obviously can't send them all to the same place.

I have signed up for lots of surveys but think this could be a more fun way of earning money, and better paid than surveys that's for sure!

Good luck Maria - sure you will cope with all the support that's on here.

maria932

Heres a list of the debts
Admiral Ins £230.78
Aktiv Kpital £5,951.40
Aqua £501.87 (Hubbys)
Avon £152.85
Finance U £16,262.40 (joint, i think)
Gotlee & Goldsmith £56.38
Grolier £131.82 (hubbys)
Halifax £676.08
Halifax £348.68 (hubbys)
HSBC £376.29 (hubbys)
Max Recovery £1,333.29
MEB £35.75
Military & Aviation £95.64 (hubbys)
Natwest £1,919.07
Npower £67.62
OCM £361.40
Provident £721.59 (hubbys)
Provident £343.55
Scottish power £43.38
Sweb £107.65
Yes car credit £5,287.14 (hubbys)
Direct Choice £186.61
Vanquis Credit card £350

I think these are all the debts

maria932

Income
Wages 1st job £950
Wages 2nd JOb £200 mth
Child Benefit £65

Expenses
Rent £450 arrears £50
Council tax £131.26 covering arrears of £890
Water £50
Building ins £25.00
Life insurance £20.00
Gas £30 arrears of about £100
Electric £30 arrears of £100
BT £90 arrears of £247.84
Tv £11.50 (i think it is)
Car HP £150.00
School Meals £30.00 mth
Fuel £80
Food £100

Hello

Hi Maria

I don't have any expert advice, apart from hang on in there, the experts will be along shortly and start their good advice. Mind you, if those are all your debts you can change your signature to £36,929.08 - £3,000 knocked off your debt instantly!! :j Either that or my calculator is up the creek - an excuse I have made many times before!:rotfl:

Good luck, thoughts are with you.

Hello
x

maria932

Hello - did you add all the arrears on to that aswell lol, sounds alot better

thanks for the advice

Reya

Hi again, Maria

Well done on getting all of that together! It's a hell of a task to assemble an SOA, I know, and it can be scary to see it all there in black and white before you. You've made the first step in joining MSE and asking for help, and the second step in posting all of that!

I'm no expert (I'll leave that to the more experienced moneysavers on the board) but looking at your outgoings, the first things I see that could go are your buildings insurance and life insurance. That will give you an extra £45 per month. You could use that to chop those small bills up. The Scottish Power debt would be gone in one month, the MEB in another, the Gotlee and Goldsmith and the NPower in the next three (assuming these smallish amounts are all that's left of old debts?) That would be four debts cleared in five months. Okay, they're only small ones, but there's a feeling of satisfaction in writing off even the smallest of debts, and I'm sure the others on this board will be able to help you further with moneysaving so you can start to hack away at the bigger ones.

I noticed you didn't include any grocery/food items in your outgoings. Can you estimate how much you spend per month or week on food and other such things? Do you have your last month's-worth of grocery receipts still in your purse, so you can add them up and post the amount?

Can you also post the interest rates and minimum repayments on those debts? You'll find the interest rates on the bottom or the back of most bills. If they're stated monthly, multiply the amount by 12 to get your full interest rate. That way you can see which is the highest (and therefore needs to be paid off first).

I make your total monthly income £1215 and your outgoings (minus food and water, which you've not stated) £854. I'm guessing that when you say 'arrears £50' on your rent, that's not being paid monthly in addition to the £450 main rent payment?

That leaves you £361 per month (again, you need to factor in water payments and food - check the Old Style board for loads of tips on meal planning and budget shopping). If you got rid of the life and buildings insurance, you'd have £406.

If you can find those interest rates, go to the Snowball calculator -

http://www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx

- and enter in all of the debts and their interest rates, plus what you think you can afford to put toward paying the debts off. The calculator will tell you how long it will take you, and exactly how you should be doing it.

Hang in there. Other people with better ideas will surely be along soon!

maria932

as he is going back in the Army we cant get rid of house insurance as that includes everything for his Army uniform and we also got burgled before so i dont think we should get rid of it.

I can get rid of life insurance.

im unsure of the water but i think it was about £700, am in the process of trying to get it discounted

Food i guess is about £100, I already get tesco value on everything apart from tea and coffee, hubby also smokes and drinks, but has been cutting down on that bit