Midwife been discussing my son with mums-to-be

angelicmary85

Spendless wrote: »

I'm not convinced that it's to do with you 'not wanting her to speak about us' cos would you have been as upset if the woman had said to you 'ohhhh it's you the MW meant today when she was telling me what a gorgeous little boy you have when we were discussing whether I should have any tests for Downs done'? Something like that still identifies you but would it have concerned you in the same way.

I think (and this is just my opinion I could be barking up the wrong tree) it is to do with your care, you feeling you weren't listened to when you had your concerns during your pregnancy, your upset at people not coming out to assess your child and various other things you've told us on this thread.

Others have told you the steps to raise these as an issue, clarify what exactly it is that you are cross about first, it helps you stay focussed.

Good luck.

I think it would have been the same becasue I don't think she should be speaking about any of the patients tha she's seen in such an obvious manner!

It is all interconnected as I've said already that this is the final straw. I'll discuss things with OH when he gets home from work and take it from there.

As always, I really appreciate the time posters have taken to reply and I'll have my say, one way or another

mrcow

GobbledyGook wrote: »

What exactly is it about what she is saying that you object to OP?

Probably the bit where a random member of the public was able to identify her in the street through personal information given out by a midwife.

She had no right to tell anyone the results of the OP's test - or even that she had a test.

It's simple - she has broken patient confidentiality and should be reported. What happens after that is up to her superiors but the OP should be kept in the loop and should expect an apology.

mountainofdebt

Interestingly enough, I've just read a series of 3 books written by a former midwife about her early career in the east end of London.

All the characters were given 'new names' but assuming the stories she wrote about were true and accurate, there was alot of information that could potentially identify former patients.

Had she broken her former patients confidentality ?

What I'm getting at is that if the midwife didn't specifically name you then she hasn't really broken any confidences. I know this point has been mentioned on numerous occasions but are you a) 100% positive the conversation between midwife and her other patient was accurate - because it is a weird way of getting you to have a test if it is! and b) none of her other patients have had children with DS?

The other thing is that springs to mind is when my sister was expecting her first baby, and she was considered a young mum as well, the blood tests as well as results from the scan indicated there was a very strong possibility that the child would have DS. After much soul searching my sister decided to have the animo test only when the pregnancy had got to a stage that if labour had been induced as a result, the baby could survive. She only had the test so that she could mentally prepare herself. Perhaps your results came back indicating that the possibility of DS didn't warrant the risk of miscarriage.

tbh it seems that there's alot of unresolved anger about how the pregnancy progressed and how you were treated after the birth but as for your original question, no I don't think the midwife broke any confidences

inkie

I'm a midwife, and feel that the best course of action is for you to get in touch with a Supervisor of Midwives in the area where you live, and ask for an appointment with her. There are a number of issues that you need to discuss with her by the sounds of what you have been saying.

Mado

angelicmary85 wrote: »

My wee boy has got Down's and she's been warning all the mums that their kids might have it aswell as a way to force them into getting the AFP(?) test if they don't want to have it.

I feel that that, is just wrong.

Then she isn't talking about him or you in a personal way nor was she passing judgement on you and your son.
I think you have to accept that if you live in a place where everybody knows everybody else and it is what happens.

liney

I think she has only referred to you because some people are under the impression that only older moms have babies with Downs, which isn't true.

If she said "Want the test? - No - Ok then....If it was discovered later that the 25 year old didn't have the test because she thought she wasn't at risk, and she went on to have a baby with Downs, then the Midwife would be being blamed for not explaining properly.

It's unfortunate that you are the only parent with a child with Downs in your area, in that you are so are easily identifiable, but you can't expect the condition not to be discussed incase people think of you. It wasn't in any way malicious.

meritaten

I have had three children and certainly dont remember my midwife discussing other cases. I dont see why one would. All pregnancies are different and should be treated as such. I assume from what you say there was some sort of group session? in a small town then the midwife should have been aware that discussing a downs syndrome child even in a general way could result in a breach of patient confidentiality. I live in a small town and can understand why you feel you were identified.
was the midwife operating within a GP practice or the hospital? either way a letter of complaint is in order.

skintchick

I'm sorry Op but I can;t see why you are so upset. I think your judgment is clouded by other matters to do with this MW, but that the conversation you recount (based on hearsay) is nothing to be bothered about. All she is saying is that a woman in recent years was young and low risk but had a DS child in the area. What's wrong with that? It is fact, is it not? It's not malicious. THe only thing that might be considered to breach confidentiality but in my opinion doesn't, is that you came out low risk on the test, but is that something you really object to peole knowing?

I know you're angry but perhaps you should try and move on from all this. If you live in a small town then this kind of thing will happen.

Morgan_Ree

Molly41 wrote: »

Midwifery is an art not a science. You just cant predict what will happen in any given situation. Yes you have to understand the science but its not predictable like science because you are dealing with two unique human beings - the mother and babe and how they interact with each other. A midwife's hunch - again not scientific or evidence based but I always went with mine and was never proved wrong (unfortunately)

I know that!
It wasn't me questioning it

mumps

I would be upset in your position. I had no tests in any of my pregnancies for religious reasons, if I had decided to have tests I might not have wanted other members of my church of members of my family to know. I might not have even wanted my husband to know. If you had been in this position it could have caused alot of personal problems for you to be identified. That is why medical people have to be very careful about what they say, what seems an inoffensive remark to one person can be very serious to another. If I were you I would ask her if she has spoken about you and why and take it from there. Good luck whatever you decide.