Midwife been discussing my son with mums-to-be

patchwork_cat

ladybez wrote: »

Patchwork, Midwives do not take the hypocratic oath but are bound by their Code of Conduct and conditions of employment

Did I say they did? I was being flippant by pointing out that vets deal with animals and whilst I am an animal lover - feel free to discuss my cat with anyone you like, but not my DD or DS. I am not sure that anybody actually takes or signs the hypocratic oath it is a code of conduct for Dr's. It was a flippant comment not meant to be taken literally, it is more a historic thing I believe, practicised by some to keep tradition nothing more.

angelicmary85

Morgan_Ree wrote: »

I'm sure she's aware of patient confidentiality! It's part of the NMC code of conduct.

She is able to discuss, even write a book if she wants, on any of her patients, but without giving away any information that makes them easily identifiable
Obviously that's not the case here

Has her discussion about you or your child with others potential parents upset you at all?
Or are you just a bit annoyed she didn't ask your permission?

I would first seek an apology from her.
If that doesn't work take it further

I wouldn't have expected her to ask permission to speak about us, I just wouldn't have expected it at all!!

I'm upset that she's using us to try to persuade other mum's to have tests done that they don't want.

Spendless

angelicmary85 wrote: »

My wee boy has got Down's and she's been warning all the mums that their kids might have it aswell as a way to force them into getting the AFP(?) test if they don't want to have it.

I feel that that, is just wrong.

Do you know in what context it was said? Eg would you mind if the conversation went along the lines of

expectant mum - no, I don't want the test, only older mums have babies with Downs.

MW- That's not true, I have a mum under me that has baby with Downs.

rather than MW saying yes def get the test and being negative about you and your child.

angelicmary85

Artytarty wrote: »

Are you seeing this as a chance to get even? If there is past history hear, be very clear when you complain about the facts in this case. I dont think it would help if you made your personal dislike of her evident.

I can see where you are coming from but no, I had my chance to complain about her a year ago but I didn't take it.

angelicmary85

Spendless wrote: »

Do you know in what context it was said? Eg would you mind if the conversation went along the lines of

expectant mum - no, I don't want the test, only older mums have babies with Downs.

MW- That's not true, I have a mum under me that has baby with Downs.

rather than MW saying yes def get the test and being negative about you and your child.

The conversation went like this -

MW - Right, I'm going to take blood for the Down syndrome test.

Mum - No, I don't want to have that done, it doesn't matter to me as there are already disabled children in my family and I don't mind.

MW - There was a young girl (I'm nearly 25) who lives here that had this test done and it said low risk. She had a baby with Down's, this only happened a year or so ago so you just never know what will happen.

Mum - Like I said, no thanks.

patchwork_cat

How old is your son? Just wanted to say that Peachprice has expressed my feelings very eloquently and I agree.

angelicmary85

patchwork_cat wrote: »

A vet is a bit different! I don't think they have the hippocratic oath do they? No it is wrong and the midwife could be in serious trouble ask any nurse or doctor.

Seriously you are the only mum in your town with a son that has Down's syndrome? I am getting quite cross thinking of her judgemental attitude. , and she is using you and your son as examples of you don't want that. Whilst I am sure you have shed tears over your son's condition I am also absolutely certain he has brought you so much pleasure and makes you smile every day.

My grandfather was a schools health doctor and in those days children with Down's syndrome attended boarding schools and the one thing my grandfather could not just let go when he retired was his frequent visits there or his place on the governors. I can remember many happy hours spent visiting there with him as a child, so much happiness.

There are lots of children here with disabilities but none of them have Down's...makes my wee tootie that bit more special to me

angelicmary85

patchwork_cat wrote: »

How old is your son? Just wanted to say that Peachprice has expressed my feelings very eloquently and I agree.

He was one a couple of weeks ago

Morgan_Ree

angelicmary85 wrote: »

I wouldn't have expected her to ask permission to speak about us, I just wouldn't have expected it at all!!

I'm upset that she's using us to try to persuade other mum's to have tests done that they don't want.

Hmmmm it's a tough one.
Part of her job is health education. Making those under her care aware of the pro/cons of pregnancy/testing/birth etc etc
She definitely shouldn't be persuading other mums to have tests done. It's not ethical. She should only be making them aware of what *might* happen should they not go ahead with it

Do you know what she actually said about your son?

Molly41

Im a retired midwife now and you do have to be very careful about what you say and that you dont break confidentiality. Are you really the only person to have had a downs baby recently? I say that because I had none born for years and then three in a month? Clustering is a phenomenon that happens to all health workers. I always get a run of conditions...like breech presentation.

Talk to PALS regarding this if you want to make a complaint. I understand you might have unresolved issues regarding the birth of your baby? perhaps you were not happy with the care she gave you particularly if this was an undiagnosed Downs baby? If you would like your case looked at write a letter to the head of midwifery and they will meet with you and go through all your notes. Perhaps that would help?