Daffy's 'a nice cup of tea cheers you up' diary

Cheery_Daff

I'd never say no to a *virtual*lodger Missy! :rotfl: But you really wouldn't want to *actually* move in here :rotfl:

<toddles off to plump the cushions in Missy's diary>

RubySewSew

Hand drawn cards v trendy at the moment!

I think you have to be very honest and kind with your guest Daffs. Sometimes the truth is hard to say but when you say it with love and kindness it really means something.

Cheery_Daff

Thanks Ruby

Now then, in the spirit of ticking things off my cheery little mind map, I've been doing a spot of budgeting... At the beginning of the month I accidentally transferred £50 more than I intended to Mr Daffs. I've also had to spend £200 on the car this month :eek: - £100 more than I budgeted for (I originally had the money in the van buying fund - but then when we didn't spend it on buying the van, I transferred that to Mr Daffs too :rotfl:)

Anyway, what with expenses to claim back, things coming and going like nobody's business, I've gotten all a bit confused Not too confused, but a little bit confused

WE've been invited to stay with some friends in Aberystwyth for a weekend soon :j Won't cost anything other than the diesel, which will probably be around £20 each. I'm going to budget £30, just in case we go out for tea or whatever.

I've also been invited on a trip to Manchester this weekend - ordinarily I'd say no for financial reasons, but I haven't seen this group of friends for a very long time, because I always say no So I've had a play around with the budget, and if I can do it for £20 (including train fare of £10) then I'll say yes.

What all this has meant is that I've thrown all my money in separate accounts into one big virtual pot, and shared it all out again Bit daft, but means I got to see exactly what I had available, what needed to go where, and whatever.

And it also means that I've had to have a bit of a reassessment re paying back Mr Daffs I REALLY wanted to get it finished this month, soooooo much - it'll be my last fees payment when I get paid this month, and I wanted it to be the last payment to Mr Daffs too. There's absolutely no urgency to pay him back whatsoever, he's happy to wait til well into next year, bless him, this was just for me!

So, I THINK what I've decided to do is just pay back £160 this month, leaving £100 left to go. I'm also going to need to save up around £300 for Christmas holidays :j Which I can do from Oct/Nov wages :T

Anyway, all this works out, but feels a little unsatisfying.... However, I've no extra income before Christmas, not doing any more transcribing, and I said no to any extra work from Job 3. Need to have a proper think (sorry, this is all probably not making any sense! )

One thing I've noticed is that I allocate £15 a week to spend on 'unnecessary' things. And I generally DO spend it on unnecessary things - like just a cuppa here and there, and a cake now and then. That's what it's for - but it's also meant to cover things like this trip to Manchester, which often it doesn't, and I say no to them. So I need a bit of a reassessment of priorities I think!

What I might do is sit at the beginning of the week, and plan what I'm going to spend my £15 on. Now, I do value being able to say yes to a spontaneous cuppa, but I'd also quite like to, for example, buy MG's book, which I haven't yet managed to do. So what I might do is put £5 away at the beginning of the week (to cover WI tea and cake and mini charity shop nonsense at the weekend), and have a plan for the other £10, and see where we get to... And then by the end of October I might be able to pay off that extra £100 after all :j

missymoo81

Really loving your thoughts on the unecessary spends hun, that is exactly what I need to do I think! I'm always saying no to nights out etc, but if I saved some of my 'spending' money rather than spending it just because I have allocated it, I would be a lot happier I think. And could get more out of my money if you get what I mean.

Cheery_Daff

Well, I was soooo disappointed with myself about not being able to pay the whole of Mr Daffs off, that I went away armed with a pen and a calculator and a diary to figure out just how I could do it

And what I figured out was...

- I've got £14.43 in Paypal account - now transferred to bank account :T
- I had £6.52 in Amazon account - now transferred to bank :T

Together those two are enough to pay for the Manchester trip :j (assuming I just go for the day and have lunch, rather than stopping for the evening and going out for dinner/drinks etc)

Also figured out I have enough spare in wages that come at the beginning of Nov/Dec to pay for holidays and some spare for presents :j I'll be trying to make most of these again this year, but there's usually a couple to buy. So that's Christmas covered :j I'm also going to start doing Lightspeed surveys again and saving up Amazon vouchers :j And I WILL get to the Onepoll payout before Christmas - only er, £28 to go :rotfl: (That's 282 surveys at 10p each - ish!, and about 84 days before we go on holiday, so just over 3 a day!)

I'm also going to say YES to any spare bits of work that get offered here and there from casual job (probably only a few hours, if any at all, but it all adds up, and it's over £10 an hour)

As for the Aberystwyth trip... Well, I'm off to London for a couple of days again next week - which means I'm not paying for the train fare to work! :T So that's £25 budgeted for right there :T That, coupled with a little bit of the £20 ordinary diesel budget, should easily do it :T

So hooray! An hour well spent I think there, and that means on thursday Mr Daffs will be paid off completely, the following Monday the fees will be paid off completely, and all my money will be my own!!!!! :j :j :j

missymoo81

yaaaay daffs:j:T

wooo hoo clever you working that out, you are a star.

It must be a nice feeling knowing that you can pay Mr Daffs off and go and have a lovely time. so happy for you:D

RubySewSew

I am so relieved that I am not the only one scrabbling away with pennies and pounds to try and make ends meet. This is not what being a grown up is meant to be like! My kids have more pocket money than me. I miss my cleaning which used to put £40 into my spends fund every week and mean that I didn't need to worry about spending allocated funds. Have to say though something is going very wrong! I'm off to explore what in my debtfree diary!

Cheery_Daff

Hope you find out Ruby!

For me I don't like to think of it as scrabbling around. These two things are my only 'debts' - the Mr Daffs thing is because I didn't pay any house contribution while I had several months off work last year - he did say at the time there was no need to pay it, but I felt better doing it Nearly gone now! As for the fees - not really a 'debt' as such, since as long as they're paid before I leave the university then they're on time! But I can't stand people asking me for money, so the minute they started asking, I set up a series of payments to them - of which this will be the last

Thing with me is, I've made a very clear decision to only work 2 days a week for the time being (at least until after Christmas/PhD), and have accepted that that means rather a lot of budgeting. I don't consider myself deprived - I like to think of it as a choice - helps my little mind deal with those times I want to go somewhere and can't find room in the budget.

Speaking of mind games - I NEVER say 'I can't afford to'. NEVER.

Back in a tic

Cheery_Daff

Sorry, phone rang - somebody trying to persuade me to go and see Hamlet on Thursday :rotfl: Since it's more than my weekly food budget, I said no - even though they were very persuasive! :rotfl:

Anyway - yes, I NEVER say 'I can't afford to'. And this is VERY IMPORTANT to me. As far as I'm concerned, I've *chosen* to only work 2 days a week, I've *chosen* to live where I live, drive a car, work in this job, not work in a second job etc etc, and those choices for me come with consequences - eg not just being able to say yes to going to the theatre at the drop of a hat. Strange, but I find it empowering to think of myself as *choosing* to earn less and have more time, rather than feeling sorry for myself cos I can't afford to do things

(although obviously I am aware that plenty of other people don't have the same choices, and actually can't afford things, and I do consider myself very lucky!)

Just helps when I'm tempted with House Envy :rotfl: - I now think - 'what would I have to do to live in a house like that?' (work full time for 40 years, get promoted silly amount of times, marry rich bloke etc etc) - and am I prepared to do it? No, probably not :rotfl: So, it turns out, I like my existing house pretty well

Karmacat

Daffs, I think thats very wise - an awful lot of the work I do is about trying to get people to see that the choices they make have implications for their lives - your choice has been for freedom (thats how I see it, anyway) - time freedom. What a powerful question you put at the end of that last post: "what would I have to do to live in a house like that?" Wow.

You've chosen your priorities, very consciously, and you're happy with the choices you've made. Thats very, very precious - I was going to write, in this day and age, but of course a hundred years ago, we wouldn't have had many choices, just in a different way from now, thats all ....

Oh boy - I can feel a ramble coming on, cos I'm tired.... I really had better shut down the comp now.

See you tomorrow
xx