Daffy's 'a nice cup of tea cheers you up' diary

RubySewSew

Yeah, I know that feeling Daffs I'm just not there at the moment. I had a conversation with DS1 a while back where I explained to him that the reason we didn't have much money was because I chose to work part time so I could be home for them, picking them up from school, baking cakes, having friends over, helping them with homework. Put like that he chose to have 'the muffin mummy'. I also realised that I never wanted to work full time again - for what?

The sad thing is it doesn't feel like it's a choice at the moment, I'm working so hard at 2 jobs and being a mum and I just can't meet the enormous costs of living and maintaining debts that were acquired in an affluent marriage that is now over. I am so careful in the planning stages and so disorganised in the execution stage! I've tried to put the choice back into it - even looked at selling my house but the redemption penalty is crippling. I'm usually pretty good at turning problems into solutions but am really struggling!

On the cheery side - I did take some happy photos in the garden. And I have listed some books on amazon. Will try doing half an hour of listing every day see if that helps a bit.

missymoo81

Morning daffs, really pleased for you that you have managed to sort so much out with your budget, Ii am going to take a leaf out of your book later and sort out my budget too.

I hope you have a good day hun, back soon

Missy x

MrsMoo2U

WE've been invited to stay with some friends in Aberystwyth for a weekend soon Won't cost anything other than the diesel, which will probably be around £20 each. I'm going to budget £30, just in case we go out for tea or whatever.

:j:j Hello I am in Aberystwyth - well just outside :j You will love it here. Well I hope that you do.

There are some lovely little charity shops but you will HAVE to visit Craft as they have some good things in there and they are a not for profit recycling centre.

MrsMoo2U

Cheery_Daff wrote: »

Sorry, phone rang - somebody trying to persuade me to go and see Hamlet on Thursday :rotfl: Since it's more than my weekly food budget, I said no - even though they were very persuasive! :rotfl:

Anyway - yes, I NEVER say 'I can't afford to'. And this is VERY IMPORTANT to me. As far as I'm concerned, I've *chosen* to only work 2 days a week, I've *chosen* to live where I live, drive a car, work in this job, not work in a second job etc etc, and those choices for me come with consequences - eg not just being able to say yes to going to the theatre at the drop of a hat. Strange, but I find it empowering to think of myself as *choosing* to earn less and have more time, rather than feeling sorry for myself cos I can't afford to do things

(although obviously I am aware that plenty of other people don't have the same choices, and actually can't afford things, and I do consider myself very lucky!)

Just helps when I'm tempted with House Envy :rotfl: - I now think - 'what would I have to do to live in a house like that?' (work full time for 40 years, get promoted silly amount of times, marry rich bloke etc etc) - and am I prepared to do it? No, probably not :rotfl: So, it turns out, I like my existing house pretty well

Sorry but I am just doing a catch up whilst waiting for the insurance companies to start calling and offering me silly quotes but I just had to
:T:T:T:T:T:T you for this. What a fresh and inspiring way of looking at things. I do think that lots of people in this world make choices but then complain about what those choices are stopping them from doing (I am not generalising as I know that lots of people find themselves in situations through no fault of their own). I am big believer that if more people took responsibility for the choices that they make then their lives would be so much happier. Cheery, right now you have made the choice to have time. Time can be as valuable a commodity as money and this is what we sometimes lose sight of. Thanks for pulling me up short and putting me back on track!

MrsMoo2U

RubySewSew wrote: »

Yeah, I know that feeling Daffs I'm just not there at the moment. I had a conversation with DS1 a while back where I explained to him that the reason we didn't have much money was because I chose to work part time so I could be home for them, picking them up from school, baking cakes, having friends over, helping them with homework. Put like that he chose to have 'the muffin mummy'. I also realised that I never wanted to work full time again - for what?

The sad thing is it doesn't feel like it's a choice at the moment, I'm working so hard at 2 jobs and being a mum and I just can't meet the enormous costs of living and maintaining debts that were acquired in an affluent marriage that is now over. I am so careful in the planning stages and so disorganised in the execution stage! I've tried to put the choice back into it - even looked at selling my house but the redemption penalty is crippling. I'm usually pretty good at turning problems into solutions but am really struggling!

On the cheery side - I did take some happy photos in the garden. And I have listed some books on amazon. Will try doing half an hour of listing every day see if that helps a bit.

Ah (((((Ruby)))), this is what I meant about some people finding themselves in a situation through no fault of their own. I'm sorry things are hard for you at the moment. Maybe you are trying to hard to find a solution and are too close to it all at the moment. Try giving yourself a break from thinking about it as an all encompassing problem right now. Break it down into small chunks and work on a bit at a time. I know exactly what you mean about the redemption penalty and I am b******d if I am going to give that over to the shysters so I just work on what I can when I can with an aim that I will consider selling when I reach the end of the penalty date. Would that help at all? Is the period a very long one? Also if you really want to sell, is there any possibility of porting the mortgage - most companies dont make you pay the redemption policy if you transport the mortgage to a new property.

Pippilongstocking

I'm liking all the vibe on here a the mo - thank you - alot of it helped me right now.

(()) ruby lots hugs and hello to everyone.

xxx thank you again xxx

Karmacat

Wise words, cherisong - about situations and about porting.... ruby, lots of hugs to you.

missymoo81

poor you ruby, big hugs hun, they're bu**ers aren't they bl**dy banks!! But Karmacat is right Cheri speaks wise words. Keep you're chin up hun x

Cheery_Daff

(((((((((((ruby))))))))))) hugs to you girl, so sorry things are tough for you right now, so sorry if I came across as being an insensitive smart-ar*e Didn't mean to, honestly

And hugs to the rest of you too, you are lovely

Not feeling hugely cheery tonight. Loooong day at work - started well, but haven't been in the office much for the last couple of weeks, so lots of little things to get on top of, as well as some bigger stuff. In a rashly over-enthusiastic moment volunteered to help organise the Christmas Do So that's me, a rather unenthusiasticly bizarre woman who did it last year (although nobody else who did it can figure out what she actually *did* and she's not evening coming), and someone else who was roped into it by her boss and who hasn't been to a Christmas party for 22 years :rotfl:

So - we're having a ceilidh A Victorian, dressing up type ceilidh, no less Not that I like dressing up, or ceilidhs And not that Mr Daffs happens to be in an exceptionally good ceilidh band Well, got to work things in your favour sometimes!

Got home to find a slightly bizarre smelling house... and a tepid, uncooked baked potato in the oven. Did lots of sorting out of recycling :mad: (really MUST remind those boys that we do NOT have rubbish-taking-out fairies here!), then mate arrived back to say he'd put the oven on for baked potato, but at some point it had GONE OUT, and he didn't know how long it had been just leaking gas for :eek: :eek: Anyway, he's put the oven back on, and the MSE-er in me just couldn't bear having the oven on for nearly two bl**dy hours with only ONE baked potato in it (!), so I've chopped up a big load of veg that won't last long, and bunged it in a couple of casserole dishes Might just freeze it in bags, so it can form the base for a few other meals in the future

So quite pleased with myself there! :rotfl:

Anyway, tired now, sore throat, sneezy and blatantly about to get a cold At w*rk again tomorrow, another busy day, so going to fill hot water bottle and toddle off to bed in a minute

Sleep well... xxxx

missymoo81

hey daffs, sorry you've had such a long tiresome day hun. lol about the cooker, men really don't get it sometimes!!

Well I hope you sleep well, snuggle up with your hotwater bottle hun.

Nights x