Why don't new neighbours introduce themselves anymore ???

lindseykim13

We have a rental next door and there can be upto 4/5 different adults living there at one time and they have a lot of guests too so we never really know who is actually living there! Our other neighbours our roughly the same age as us and have 2 kids but other than that we have nothing in common so just say 'hi' 2 doors and 3 doors up though we see and have a quick chat to quite reg, they are both in their 50's 60's but we have more in common with them such as growing veg so we have something to talk about.
I think it all depends what you have in common with your neighbours.

nikki_angel

I am renting and when we moved here in February I dropped a note through our neighbour's doors either side just to apologise for any noise from our young daughter. She was teething at the time and after being there a couple of weeks I didn't want our neighbours thinking the Dingles had moved in. I put our phone number in the card and said I hoped to meet them properly soon when I didn't have a baby hanging off of me. They both popped round within a week of receiving the cards to say thank you and to reassure me that we are not to worry as they can't really hear anything. Whether you are renting or not, it is still your home and you should still feel comfortable with the people around you. Just a little introduction can bring this comfort as you haev broken the ice, even if you never speak again. (please excuse the lack of paragraphing, my return key is broken!)

vet8

crusty_toenail wrote: »

I've lived in 3 houses and have always had really great neighbours - a close neigbour is better than a far away friend (providing they are not psychos).

Yes you do get the odd weirdo one but in general people are friendly and do make the effort to help etc.

I'm moving again and my neighbours look quite elderly and lovely so I'm going to introduce myself and offer to help them shopping etc..... life is about giving and helping people!

I'm only 32 but I've learnt that private people is another way of saying selfish people - you will get nothing out of life with that mindset.

When you are old and lonely living on your own you would appreciate a neighbour popping in etc.

I think people need to 'get over themselves', go to the third world and see the poverty etc for a reality check

I think this is a ridiculous post. What on earth has third world poverty got to do with living in your neighbours' pockets? It is also very patronising to assume that all old people are lonely and need a neighbour "popping in". I am not far off from retirement myself and I would get really annoyed if nosey strangers kept interfering in my life. A lot of older people are very capable of looking after themselves.

I take entirely the opposite view to this post, I think those who make a point of popping around are nosey and intrusive. I hate people poking their noses into my personal affairs.

We are selling our house and the neighbouring couple, with whom we have always had cordial relations, came marching around in a delegation to find out "WHAT'S GOING ON?"

My OH answered the door and he was a lot more polite than I would have been. I would have been inclined to tell them to b***er off and mind their own bloody business. They asked repeatedly, "Where were we going?" and "Why were we selling?" I think asking that is so rude. We might be selling for the reason that we just want to move, but it could be because we are bankrupt or maybe getting divorced. Why on earth the people who live next door think they have any right to ask intrusive, very personal questions is totally beyond me.

Now, they refuse to speak to us and drive past us in the lane with their noses in the air, even if we smile and wave. All because we are selling our house. I am pleased I am not friendly with idiots like that.

Tesco_points_addict

When ever we have had new neighbours I have taken round a bottle of wine and a card and introduced myself. I thin when you move you hav so much to do, perhaps knocking the neighbours door is the last thing on your mind??

TPAx

Castleman

PottyHouse wrote: »

I don't consider myself old fashioned nor want to be best buddies with my neighbours but I find it quite unsettling when we gain a new neighbour in our road and they never introduce themselves.

I live in a Cul-de-Sac of just 5 houses and the one adjacent to my property is a rental. In the last 3 years these will be our 4th set of neighbours and not one of them have ever knocked on the door just to say "hello" - before anyone replies "well why don't you go and introduce yourself" I would say I don't want to be classed as a nosy neighbour and for them to think I'm prying (I obviously am!!).

I think it's us you're talking about...we did introduce ourselves to everyone else but the neighbours warned us off you!!! :eek:

:rotfl: :rotfl:

rl290

PottyHouse wrote: »

I think the issue with me is as its a rented property, its not always lived in, can be empty for a few weeks or months and the first we know that someone has moved in is when we hear the usual bangings and chaos of someone settling in !! Not a good way to start off introductions really .. and now the fact that we have a football being banged up the wall everyday after only 4 days of them being here is making me glad I wasn't so nice to go round and say "welcome" with a beaming smile !!!

Yes, it is more difficult in rented accommodation, especially if the turn over is quite rapid. That said, as B&T points out, if you had met them on good terms when they did move in then you would be able to chat to them about the football more easily now. Since you haven't, any first contact will now certainly be on bad terms if you mention the noise... Taking two minutes to pop over to say hi costs nothing and can pay dividends in circumstances like this.

As a teacher of mine once told me:
"I opened a door for a woman once, and she asked, 'are you only doing that because I am a LADY.' He replied, 'no, I'm doing it because I'm a gentleman.'"

However rude you feel a neighbour is being by not introducing themselves, we should all try and live up to the high standards that we set for ourselves. Indeed, I tend to be especially polite and nice to people who are impolite to me - you'd be amazed at the effect it has.

R

nikki_angel

rl290 wrote: »

Yes, it is more difficult in rented accommodation, especially if the turn over is quite rapid. That said, as B&T points out, if you had met them on good terms when they did move in then you would be able to chat to them about the football more easily now. Since you haven't, any first contact will now certainly be on bad terms if you mention the noise... Taking two minutes to pop over to say hi costs nothing and can pay dividends in circumstances like this.

As a teacher of mine once told me:
"I opened a door for a woman once, and she asked, 'are you only doing that because I am a LADY.' He replied, 'no, I'm doing it because I'm a gentleman.'"

However rude you feel a neighbour is being by not introducing themselves, we should all try and live up to the high standards that we set for ourselves. Indeed, I tend to be especially polite and nice to people who are impolite to me - you'd be amazed at the effect it has.

R

Yes, that's what I meant about breaking the ice. Once it's done, it makes future communication easier. I have had noisy neighbours in the past and it was horrid. I really wanted to reassure our new neighbours that I am aware that we may be being noisy but it's a little out of our control because of the teething. I also wanted to open the gates (so to speak) so that they felt that they COULD approach us should they think the noise was unreasonable. I would hate for our neighbours to be sitting in their own home, feeling on edge because of us going about our business. Until you are told, you really don't know what noise you are making.

delmar39

PottyHouse wrote: »

Hi Delmar, Congratulations on finally completing and getting the home you were after !!!

Sorry to hear about new neighbours - perhaps they have a bee in their bonnet about the planning application your home was built on ?? I recall you saying yours was a "one off" ?????

Hi PottyHouse nice to see you remembered some of my previous posts re moving house. Yes it was a one off and thinking about it you could be right about the way they feel - they never used to have someone at the side of them, so perhaps they do feel a little miffed. Also, the chap next door has been working on his garden for a few years and it's still not complete. I got mine done straightaway, so perhaps that's annoyed him! We're good neighbours and respectful of their privacy (other than the 10ft trampoline that the missus has just bought our little un - you can see right onto their seating area from it - not good, but I cannot move it anywhere else - whoops! I passed them both on my bike recently whilst they were out walking and they both said a loud "Hi" so they're probably just the kind of people who like to keep themselves to themselves - I'm like that to be honest and wouldn't want someone in my face all the time. I think we'll always be on 'nodding' terms which is good. On the other side of our house is the builders office who built the property. Perhaps one day they will knock their office down and we'll have neighbours and will feel the same as our neighbours did. Happy days! Thanks for the post PottyHouse - thoughtfull.

kittendothroar

We rent in a small block of 9 flats, we know the names of some of the residents but the others just seem to be ghosts as we never see them! The most recent new neighbours did have a housewarming but we already had plans that night so didn't really get chance to mingle with them. The flat below us has been vacant a while but heard noises yesterday and a let by sign has gone up. No actual sign of them though yet...I will talk to them though and sound them out as the tenant before last was a bloomin nightmare and played loud music at all hours and screeched the whole time! I celebrated the day she moved out!! Last tenant was lovely and used to chat a lot with her, mainly as she knocked on our door the day she moved in, heavily pregnant and unable to get her heating on, OH to the rescue! Kinda broke the ice, so to speak

I think its different if people own the property though as friends who bought last year were welcomed by all their neighbours and are good friends now.

kprice580

I live on a cul-de-sac of 41 houses and I admit I'm a nosey c*w :rotfl:I used to be a AVON lady so I used to have an excuse!

I always go round and say if theres anything i can help with then just ask.

And I send a xmas card to every house on the street :A