please help

hol327

your really !!!!ing me off now we dont want to commit fraud we just wanted to no how wel live ect, people like you must get kicks out of looking down on people like us were not doing anything wrong we just needed help, i hope in your life your never stuck in a rutt and confused. we want whats best for our baby n we will be bloody good parents, were not going to scam any1 we just want the best for the baby, this happend and we dint expect it to so now were dealing with it. Were young and just trying to get all the facts we dont need people acting all high and mighty and putting us down!!

kwl327

AnxiousMum wrote: »

But do you have a baby with your gran and do things as a family with her? Different scenario.

You seem to have your mind set on putting benefits before family, so enjoy your choice. Personally, if my partner had the same outlook, he'd be out on his ear.

im going to make sure my baby is ok as well as my gf (both my family).

i go to see if my gran is ok (who is also my family) i spend time at both places, so am i really considered living at 3 places. i do things as a family with anyone in my family regardless of weather its with my mother or gran or brother.

hol327

thank you for understanding we dont want to take benefits were not entitled to we just want the best and are abit stuck but im sure we will work everything out b4 baby arrives, im just getting so upset with people thinking were bad people, kwl has worked since he was old enuff to and i go to college so were not lazy people who cant be botherd we just want the best

fav77

hol327 wrote: »

your really !!!!ing me off now we dont want to commit fraud we just wanted to no how wel live ect, people like you must get kicks out of looking down on people like us were not doing anything wrong we just needed help, i hope in your life your never stuck in a rutt and confused. we want whats best for our baby n we will be bloody good parents, were not going to scam any1 we just want the best for the baby, this happend and we dint expect it to so now were dealing with it. Were young and just trying to get all the facts we dont need people acting all high and mighty and putting us down!!

The fact is that you are a couple and as such will be entitled to the 14 quid tax credits and 20 quid child benefit. If you choose to live in seperate houses in order to claim more then you will knowingly be committing benefit fraud.

Can you not understand why this makes people angry?

AnxiousMum

hol327 wrote: »

your really !!!!ing me off now we dont want to commit fraud we just wanted to no how wel live ect, people like you must get kicks out of looking down on people like us were not doing anything wrong we just needed help, i hope in your life your never stuck in a rutt and confused. we want whats best for our baby n we will be bloody good parents, were not going to scam any1 we just want the best for the baby, this happend and we dint expect it to so now were dealing with it. Were young and just trying to get all the facts we dont need people acting all high and mighty and putting us down!!

Then don't!

People have given suggestions on 'how to live' - there is lots of help on the old fashioned money saving forums, you can post a statement of affairs on the debt free wannabe board and all sorts of people will help you out with ways to lower your outgoings each month.

If what you want to hear is 'yes, go ahead and do as you described in your first post, and all will be well'.......you're in the wrong place.

I didn't expect my first born either, and so drastic cutbacks were made. We too were waiting till we could afford it, and I'm so glad he came along when he did, 'cos if we kept that attitude, I'd probably still not have children 21 years later.

You have a wonderful experience ahead of you -and whether you want to commit fraud or not, is it worth it taking the chance? You say you want 'stress free'......well, time to grow up guys - NOTHING about having a baby is stress free!

healy

hol327 wrote: »

this is kwl's girlfriend
were not bad people were just a young couple trying to work a few things out b4 our baby arrives, we just wants the best 4 him. All the things you are saying about kwl is wrong we just needed advice, oh and i was on the pill we dint just decide to have a baby to get more benefits im at college trying to get my nvq so i CAN work but obvs now things have to change for a while, were both very happy about the pregnancy we just wanted to no what we can do 4 the best for our baby!

The advice has been given but the answers do not seem to what you want to hear.

tigtag02

hol327 wrote: »

your really !!!!ing me off now we dont want to commit fraud we just wanted to no how wel live ect, people like you must get kicks out of looking down on people like us were not doing anything wrong we just needed help, i hope in your life your never stuck in a rutt and confused. we want whats best for our baby n we will be bloody good parents, were not going to scam any1 we just want the best for the baby, this happend and we dint expect it to so now were dealing with it. Were young and just trying to get all the facts we dont need people acting all high and mighty and putting us down!!

The point is if you DON'T live together you WILL be committing benefit fraud!!

snoop2008

AnxiousMum wrote: »

For starters OP, she could claim 15% of your income for the next 19 - 20 years of your life. But, the thing is, you're asking about 'remaining' a single parent - so you're obviously putting living off of benefits before being a part of a family contributing to society

So....what could she get? Well, one local resident recently got six months in jail for fraudulently claiming as a single parent......carrying on a regular relationship with the father of her child, doing most things as a family except living under the same roof.

Do you want to be an absent father? Or would you like to be around to share the damned hard work that goes into being a parent - the endless exhaustion is alot easier to deal with when there are two parents rather than one. However, the joy can be much more - the joy of having those little eyes light up when they see your face, of hearing the laughter in the morning when baby wakes up happy and playing, the joy and pleasure of sharing parenthood instead of dumping all responsibility onto the other parent.

Out of curiosity - is it the girlfriend who doesn't want to give up benefits, or you who doesn't want to part with any of your paycheque?

Well said!! Reading this I got the same impression, that perhaps OP, your more interested in' living apart' for financial reasons and many single mothers have been slammed with having live in lovers or partners and not telling or reporting a change of circumstances!!!

Think carefully, you either want to be a dad who is committed or you don't!!

kwl327

tigtag02 wrote: »

The point is if you DON'T live together you WILL be committing benefit fraud!!

so im being forced for her to live with me now.

kellyfrw

Hi I am not new but I rarely post. Firstly I had my first at 19 , was at uni and working , my hubby and I though married were both students and split everything down the middle. We had a mortage he had a fancy car etc. But then when we decided to have a baby together we knew we had to support each other ful stop.
I can honestly say we never once thought about the best way to work the system , my hubby just thought about where he could get another job and we both worked out where we could cut costs.
That was 13 years ago , we had #600 per month and our mortgage and loans cost us #400 we had #50 a week to live on. We got less than a tenner in child beenfit and as there was no tax credits etc we just managed. Hubbys flash car was gone and replaced for an older car , he alos gave up uni , but kept going with OU.
Sorry to sound harsh but I am honestly lost for words , regardless of how nice you both seem you are looking to take advantage of a system that is there as a safty net so that you cna gain.
Now to the other side , I was a fraud office and an appeals officer among otehr things in the DWP my hubby is still in DWP. You will most likely be classed as living together as husband and wife coparenting is a major indicator , there is no 2-3 nights a week rule its based on a number of things including how you spend down time.
Regardless of if you pay taxes or not , the system is not there to hold up your debts its there to feed and cloth you in dire need. (except the carers , elderly and disabled who need help and it is always suppossed to be given willingly). There are staff working in the DWP on much less money than you and keeping families , many people on low incomes even with tax credits etc will earn less than you yet you want to dodge your responsibilty!
Fraud is a crime and by having this discussion you are showing that if its in your favour you are willing to commit that crime. Lets put it this way , becasue you put money into the tills of supermarkets every week ,it doesnt then mean that when you are a wee bit tight you can just go and steal from them , benefit fraud is the same or worse than theft .
I do understand how hard the task in hand may seem but it can be done.
I genuinly wish you and your wee one all the best , I now have six children and a foster son and although we are better off now if I had to do it all again I would still have had her at 19 (I was just 19 ) and stuck it out as we are a much stronger happier family for it
kel