please help

AnxiousMum

kwl327 wrote: »

if i paid her every month , would she need to claim CSA.
Why is name on birth certificate relevant.
we have a child together and that does not make me any more of a man or boy , i will be there no matter what through all the tough times with the child.

Name on the birth certificate is relevant because you would be the father. Just sort of indicates what your true level of commitment really is. On the other hand, does she want you to be named as father on the birth certificate?

And you are right, having a child doesn't make you any more or a man or a boy......but you are quite wrong - you have already stated that you would only be around 2 or 3 nights per week......so you would not be there through all the tough times with the child - you'd always have to be looking over your shoulder to see if a neighbour saw you arrive, saw you leave in the morning - 'cos people aren't afraid to shop a benefit fraudster.

fav77

kwl, do you have your own place or live with parents? If you do live with your folks I suppose it seems like a big jump. If not I really cant see how much more expensive it will be to have them move in!

kingfisherblue

If the OP lives with his parents, then what is he spending £25k a year on?!

AnxiousMum

kingfisherblue wrote: »

If the OP lives with his parents, then what is he spending £25k a year on?!

hmmmm, not condoms! lol

fav77

kingfisherblue wrote: »

If the OP lives with his parents, then what is he spending £25k a year on?!

Hmmm I see your point, they just both seem very young and it probably seems ideal to keep the old room at Mums while not "going legal" at the girlfriend's place!

JenniMc

Kwl - your girlfriend will be able to get a £190 health in pregnancy grant (earliest payable is 25 weeks pregnant) and she should also look into the £500 sure start grant to see if she's eligible for that.

My partner and I have a young baby and need to be more careful with money now. It is genuinely worth it. There is no way that we would live separately just so we could be financially better off. If you do live apart then you really will miss out on a lot.

Have you added up your outgoings to see if you can manage on the one wage plus tax credits and child benefit? Babies don't need to cost a lot of money. The child benefit will cover nappies, wipes and formula if you bottlefeed. The tax credits at £14ish would easily cover baby clothes and other stuff you buy as you go along. If she's eligible for the grants detailed above then that could easily buy your pram, cot etc (please consider carboot sales, ebay, NCT sales and freecycle/freegle for your baby stuff as you can get stuff that is practically new and a fraction of the price or even free). Your shopping bill, electricity, gas etc will increase but it won't be anywhere near double what you spend at the moment.

It is you and your girlfriend's decision but you are far more likely to look back and wish you had more time with your baby rather than look back and wish you'd had more money! By living together you'll be able to give a lot more practical and emotional support. Being a parent is amazing but it's tiring and sometimes stressful so it could be hard for your girlfriend not to have her partner living with her. Also, your baby deserves to have you both around.

I hope your girlfriend's pregnancy goes well.

kwl327

AnxiousMum wrote: »

Name on the birth certificate is relevant because you would be the father. Just sort of indicates what your true level of commitment really is. On the other hand, does she want you to be named as father on the birth certificate?

And you are right, having a child doesn't make you any more or a man or a boy......but you are quite wrong - you have already stated that you would only be around 2 or 3 nights per week......so you would not be there through all the tough times with the child - you'd always have to be looking over your shoulder to see if a neighbour saw you arrive, saw you leave in the morning - 'cos people aren't afraid to shop a benefit fraudster.

I would still go round every night, everyday. She would lose 220 pm if she lived with me and the money she gets in tax credits and child benefits is for the child.
My parent claimed child benefits and income support and we got nothing back from him, i said that when i have a child the money that we receive for him will be for him.

So maybe what i am saying is i can support a baby but not support her i want her to move in and i want everything to be legal. im just looking for some answers .

Thanks again

fav77

JenniMc, that is a lovely post :T

kwl327

JenniMc wrote: »

Kwl - your girlfriend will be able to get a £190 health in pregnancy grant (earliest payable is 25 weeks pregnant) and she should also look into the £500 sure start grant to see if she's eligible for that.

My partner and I have a young baby and need to be more careful with money now. It is genuinely worth it. There is no way that we would live separately just so we could be financially better off. If you do live apart then you really will miss out on a lot.

Have you added up your outgoings to see if you can manage on the one wage plus tax credits and child benefit? Babies don't need to cost a lot of money. The child benefit will cover nappies, wipes and formula if you bottlefeed. The tax credits at £14ish would easily cover baby clothes and other stuff you buy as you go along. If she's eligible for the grants detailed above then that could easily buy your pram, cot etc (please consider carboot sales, ebay, NCT sales and freecycle/freegle for your baby stuff as you can get stuff that is practically new and a fraction of the price or even free). Your shopping bill, electricity, gas etc will increase but it won't be anywhere near double what you spend at the moment.

It is you and your girlfriend's decision but you are far more likely to look back and wish you had more time with your baby rather than look back and wish you'd had more money! By living together you'll be able to give a lot more practical and emotional support. Being a parent is amazing but it's tiring and sometimes stressful so it could be hard for your girlfriend not to have her partner living with her. Also, your baby deserves to have you both around.

I hope your girlfriend's pregnancy goes well.

Thank you very much

AnxiousMum

kwl327 wrote: »

I would still go round every night, everyday. She would lose 220 pm if she lived with me and the money she gets in tax credits and child benefits is for the child.
My parent claimed child benefits and income support and we got nothing back from him, i said that when i have a child the money that we receive for him will be for him.

So maybe what i am saying is i can support a baby but not support her i want her to move in and i want everything to be legal. im just looking for some answers .

Thanks again

Bloody hell are you for real? First of all, you have just blown your 'we're not a couple' defense, as you have said you will be there every day, every night - I'd certainly be watching for twitching curtains if I were your girlfriend!

So you do not believe you are worth '£220 per month', or is it your girlfriend who feels you are not worth that?

Child benefit is there to use FOR the child, not to create a nest egg while getting the taxpayer to support your fraudulent lifestyle and THEN have to ask the taxpayer to house and feed your girlfriend while she's serving a sentence for benefit fraud.

You must be a troll..........