please help

AnxiousMum

For starters OP, she could claim 15% of your income for the next 19 - 20 years of your life. But, the thing is, you're asking about 'remaining' a single parent - so you're obviously putting living off of benefits before being a part of a family contributing to society

So....what could she get? Well, one local resident recently got six months in jail for fraudulently claiming as a single parent......carrying on a regular relationship with the father of her child, doing most things as a family except living under the same roof.

Do you want to be an absent father? Or would you like to be around to share the damned hard work that goes into being a parent - the endless exhaustion is alot easier to deal with when there are two parents rather than one. However, the joy can be much more - the joy of having those little eyes light up when they see your face, of hearing the laughter in the morning when baby wakes up happy and playing, the joy and pleasure of sharing parenthood instead of dumping all responsibility onto the other parent.

Out of curiosity - is it the girlfriend who doesn't want to give up benefits, or you who doesn't want to part with any of your paycheque?

kwl327

We are doing it like this as i can not financially support her. im thinking about the baby and her. i would live at my place and stop there 2-3 days a week . only untill i can afford for her to live with me. i maybe being selfish but im trying to think of a way around the situation.

AnxiousMum

A way around the situation though kwl327 will be as most people have done before you - you simply cut back on your day to day expenses (which by living together, you would be by having only one set of housing costs to begin with) Maybe try the old style moneysaving board to see what you can cut back on, post a statement of affairs over there and many people will help you cut back.

It used to be that people would live on basic food, not go out unless it was to something free, not use vehicles/petrol for unnecessary trips - or plan trips so that you got more done in one run. There are many ways that you can cut back on your outgoings - do you have Sky TV? Would you rather have that than your child? Do you buy booze? Would you rather buy that than baby formula?

If you are going to 'wait until you can afford it' you will never live together - and yes, you are being extremely selfish robbing your unborn child of a family which he/she is entitled to.

dmg24

kwl327 wrote: »

We are doing it like this as i can not financially support her. im thinking about the baby and her. i would live at my place and stop there 2-3 days a week . only untill i can afford for her to live with me. i maybe being selfish but im trying to think of a way around the situation.

If you cannot afford to support a child on £25,000 plus CTC then you really need to look at your spending habits. People manage very well on a great deal less.

Your intentions to stay 2-3 nights a week every week means that you are likely to be classed as living together anyway. Back to the drawing board methinks!

nannytone_2

it amazes me sometimes. if people put as much effort into working as they did into finding ways to claim from the taxpayer, we;d all be a lot better off

welshmoneylover

kwl327 wrote: »

We are doing it like this as i can not financially support her. im thinking about the baby and her. i would live at my place and stop there 2-3 days a week . only untill i can afford for her to live with me. i maybe being selfish but im trying to think of a way around the situation.

Why didn't you think about the financial implications for the child before you both dropped your pants?

Killmark

kwl327 wrote: »

We are doing it like this as i can not financially support her. im thinking about the baby and her. i would live at my place and stop there 2-3 days a week . only untill i can afford for her to live with me. i maybe being selfish but im trying to think of a way around the situation.

So basically you want to abuse the system, instead of taking responsibility for your own actions?

Why should the state take the responsibility for supporting your girlfriend and child because you "can't afford" to?

I think you will find that with the loss of her benefits, added costs of having a child that you would learn to make do and adapt to the new situation.

fav77

Hi there, looking at the entitledto calculator you will get child tax credit of £14.54 per week (this is only for the first year of the child's life I believe after which it will drop) and £20.30 child benefit. I think £25k works out at £1600 a month after tax though so a respectable income for a young family!
Im sure you will manage, babies don't have to be expensive! And to be honest the risk of claiming benefits fraudulently is just not worth it - surely it would be better to support your little family and be proud of yourselves than to have sleepless nights worrying about a knock on the door or every brown envelope that drops through the letterbox!
All the best x

kwl327

I dont see it abusing the system, its what we are entitled too. If she lives on her own and she claims IS / HB she will have money for her and the baby.

If i live on my own i get to pay my bills support her and the baby with what i have left and its all perfectly legal. whereas if she lives with me i think we would be screwed. i have tried all money saving things and i am getting there.

Indie_Kid

But why should tax payers pay for this? You chose to have a baby - time ti face up to your responsibilities!