A dilemma regarding money and grandparents

elsien

A charge on the house sounds like a good idea and might be workable.
Not so sure about the advance on OH inheritance idea though. If it were me it would put my back up, I'd find it too presumptious. And you don't want to sound like you're waiting for them to pop their clogs. (Even if you're secretly wanting to give them a helping hand!)

Molly41

elsien wrote: »

A charge on the house sounds like a good idea and might be workable.
Not so sure about the advance on OH inheritance idea though. If it were me it would put my back up, I'd find it too presumptious. And you don't want to sound like you're waiting for them to pop their clogs. (Even if you're secretly wanting to give them a helping hand!)

Oh no Id never wish them - you know- d**d :eek: I'm definitely thinking that the charge on the house might be worth exploring - thanksx

elsien

Yes, I know, sorry, I was being facetious. It was just when you said you'd try anything legal.....(my sense of humour is a bit misplaced at times.):o

Soubrette

Molly41 wrote: »

Thats a really good idea because it gives me more time to fight my insurance claim. I knew I would get some really positive ideas on here. Thankyou x

I'm all excited now - please keep us posted (and on the insurance claim)

Sou

Molly41

Yes I will. Thank you so much x

Errata

Apols if I've disremembered. The profession you've had to retire from may have a Benevolent Fund which may be able to help you out short term which would give you a bit of breathing space whilst the insurance problem is being resolved.

Fang_3

Soubrette wrote: »

I don't think it was reasonable to refuse to help you tbh - based on the facts you've given.

My husband and I have a dream to move to a little place when the kids are independent and we are saving like mad towards this (I say we - him really as I work part time because of the kids ) and yet when his parents were worried about their house a few years ago, we were more than prepared to give them our savings to save their house.

Their situation was down to a serious of poor luck rather than poor budgeting or general spendthriftiness and so how could we not help out?

In the end they managed to sort themselves out (or at least they have said they have sorted it) so our help wasn't needed.

However, your in-laws have defined your relationship with them and in your position I would feel no qualms about not helping them out when they are either ill, frail or in need if I didn't want to do it.

Sou

Even though it may be understandable as to why they don't want to help - it just doesn't feel a reasonable thing to do

The money is TIED UP. And don't forget, we're only getting one side of this story, but from what I've read it does seem to me as if the OP doesn't have a very close relationship with her in laws and seems more interested in getting her hands on their money than anything else. Perhaps her in laws know that their son and his wife won't care for them if they need it, so have made provisions to pay for it themselves. I think it's telling that it is the grandchildren and not the child who will inherit.

Fang_3

Molly41 wrote: »

Thats a really good idea because it gives me more time to fight my insurance claim. I knew I would get some really positive ideas on here. Thankyou x

Perhaps the insurance board (if there is one) might be able to help you with that? The insurance company really do need telling and putting straight now! Good luck with it.

mountainofdebt

OP, please don't take this the wrong way but can I just ask why you were the one to ask your PIL and not your OH?

I must admit from the first post, it was very unclear as to whether he was still was on the scene, so to speak.

It just comes across as very strange that you made the approach and not your OH, if not both of you.

Soubrette

Fang wrote: »

The money is TIED UP.

Is it? How do you know? I remember people conjecturing that this might be the case. None of us really knows though - except the Grandparents.

Fang wrote: »

And don't forget, we're only getting one side of this story

Indeed, but there is no need to just make up another side of the story is there?

Fang wrote: »

but from what I've read it does seem to me as if the OP doesn't have a very close relationship with her in laws and seems more interested in getting her hands on their money than anything else.

I obviously read things very differently to you - I read about someone who is having a hell of a time and is worried about the roof over her and her children's head. The insurance she thought would cover her in these situations has failed to come through and she thought she could turn to family for help.

Fang wrote: »

Perhaps her in laws know that their son and his wife won't care for them if they need it, so have made provisions to pay for it themselves.

Nothing like a making up the other half of a post to make your opinions feel better For myself I can only take what is said at face value - if the OP is lying then the advice offered to her will be misleading or false and she will pay for that if she tries to put it into practice, I cannot assume that she is lying or misleading though, so I will treat her the same as I do all posters, assume she is telling the truth unless proved otherwise.

Fang wrote: »

I think it's telling that it is the grandchildren and not the child who will inherit.

I'm not surprised you would interpret things that way bearing in mind the whole demeanour of your post. However it is equally plausible that the Grandparents have decided to leave it to the Grandchildren because the assumption at the time was that the parents wouldn't need it - many Grandparent's do the same, leave more the Grandchildren than the children, it's good tax planning if there is not a huge age gap twixt Grandparent and their children.

You are perfectly entitled to your pov but I would rather continue to take things at face value for all posters - it's the best chance of giving relevant advice.

As to the insurance - it's with the Ombudsman now - the wheels will turn slowly I'm afraid. There is not much more the OP can do to 'hurry' them along. I feel extremely sorry that she did all the right things in taking out the insurance and just when 'peace of mind' should have kicked in, the insurance company bailed out

Sou

Edited to add - sorry Fang, I see where the Grandparents have said it is tied up now However, one assumes they could untie it if they needed it for anything? Our own savings are tied up but we would certainly have untied them rather than seen my inlaws homeless.