So anyone else been in this situ ?

katieclampet

So sorry to read this. This seems to be a current theme on this board. I think you have been given some good advice, and I have nothing to add really, except I am sorry this has happened, and I am sure you and dd will get through this.
My thoughts are with you.

katiex

squidge60

katieclampet wrote: »

So sorry to read this. This seems to be a current theme on this board. I think you have been given some good advice, and I have nothing to add really, except I am sorry this has happened, and I am sure you and dd will get through this.
My thoughts are with you.

katiex

Thankyou i think some of it is the shock it was only last sunday he was going to come around and talk.:( i know hes got some habits i really wont miss but doesnt change things does it:( i still couldnt help but send him an email saying cant we just do a trial pathetic really i have asked him to answer a couple of questions on this woman (not asking to much is it after feeling i have wasted so many yrs with him)he said he will phone later .i would just like to know how long hes known her since i have thought is the womans daughter his :(thats only because i feel i dont know him anymore.but hey on a positive note i have lost 9lbs in weight and him not being here i know i will loose more (not that i have that much to lose) :)my aim is to not see him for a few weeks get this done that done etc then one day just go out to the car.well couldnt ask for better motivation could i

Ma_Boswell

Poor squidge, I do feel for you. 15 years ago my ex left me after 20 years married and three together before that and i thought i would literally die of the pain. It will get better one day,I promise you. You may find that the "other woman" is partly a fantasy relationship - the lady my ex was chasing when he left me was actually not interested in him at all. Sadly my ex died of an unsuspected heart condition a year after we split up and I will freely admit that the pain of his death was easier to deal with than when he left me - because it wasn't a betrayal. From talking to people over the last few years I've heard so many similar stories - some men seem to feel that they can just walk away and the abandoned wife shouldn't make a fuss ( I'm braced for the backlash on that comment - I did say "some"). I don't have a hearts and flowers happy ending to comfort you, I've never re-married ( never met a man who was brave enough to take on my three boys and now I'm far too comfy on my own) but I've done a lot of things I couldn't have done if I was still with him. Right now thats not much comfort to you, so scream, cry, throw things, write long vicious letters and then tear them up - you are being very strong on the not smoking - I wasn't and its an expensive antisocial habit that i wish i didn't have - and don't blame yourself, you have a right to have feelings and express them. You children will keep you going through the worst times, even if its only cos you have to get out of bed to feed them.

All i can give you is my sympathy and the knowledge that you are not alone

Newly_retired

I was once in your shoes. It is very hard. Eventually you WILL feel better. Eventually, because of the children - and now the grandchildren - we are able to be civil and sociable when the occasion demands. Actually that marriage - and betrayal - now feels a dim and distant memory. It WILL pass. You WILL get stronger.

squidge60

Thankyou everybody i left a voicemail early this morning twice because hearing about this woman just left me in hugh turmoil and texted him and rang him .i couldnt help it and he sent an email saying he would ring later he said "i only went up there once its dd whos made it sound more than it is " .so we argued on the phone putting wrongs to rights with each other (talking like we should have and sometimes shouting ) and he had to go(works phone)so.....he said if you want to talk more come over to the van when i finish work (van has to come back to house) so i am seriouely hopeing we had a serious lack of communication somewhere and maybe it can be solved.:) I will update thankyou for the time people have taken to be so supportive i am really really greatful x:)

minnie123

sending you a big hug - make sure you look after yourself xxx

tabskitten

Be Careful Squidge and don't let your self see things that are not there because you want them to be.

Protect your feelings a little sweetie.

Best of luckxxx

squidge60

tabskitten wrote: »

Be Careful Squidge and don't let your self see things that are not there because you want them to be.

Protect your feelings a little sweetie.

Best of luckxxx

Thankyou i have just realised this woman raises more questions than answers :(i mean why did she give him her address and just because they knew each other years ago doesnt mean they know each other now doesnt add up :(but if i mention it he might go off on one he said he had only seen her once but it sounds odd again i dont know until i see him later now i am wondering if because i said why not give it a trial he feels abit obliged :(is she waiting in the wings kind of thing.when he came around sunday he said "we had both changed" and definetly had a closed mind to anything so why the change of heart :(stressed again now which means pacing the living room my dd has asked me not to go back to smoking so i feel i cant tbh it would stupid i stopped about 7yrs ago.

squidge60

Update well we talked he kept saying it had to be on my terms and wasnt happy because he said he needs to analyst and make sure it was 100% what he wanted but surely someone loves someone thats it.i said i cannot want 1/2 days for him to make his mind up .whats he been doing the last few days in fact he was really annoying saying i didnt do this and didnt do that well it might help if you told me when we were together.in fact he has really really hacked me off shouting at me to get off my lazy xucking !!! and get a job so i walked out of the car what an axhole i am not having that:mad: am i wrong to feel he shouldnt need to examine things.anyway hes done me a favour because now i am just angrywith him and starting to feel i really dont know why i want him back.!i it feels like he speaks to me as if hes my father and i am sick of it :mad: but when i say that he goes off on one.moaned saying i have an obsession with money i never get anything :(always feels like i go without this/that i just want outstanding debts paid whats wrong with that made me feel like !!!! saying things like he always does only in an argument :(sorry for the long rant

minnie123

Have you thought about trying counselling together? Sounds like you need help to talk your problems through.