So anyone else been in this situ ?

squidge60

tabskitten wrote: »

You Ramble away all you like!
This will not be easy but you will get over it and life will be good for you in the future. Just focus on you and your wonderful children.

Tbh i dont get him sent 2 emails (by mistake should have been one)spelling out my pain/hurt and nothing from him :(today in the emil he said about talking to sort things i cant he does not understand i hurt :(keep going over how cold he was when he said he didnt think he loved me etc .i wrote myself an email with stuff i dont like about him felt abit theraputic i guess.helps stop me ranting.!Thanks anyway

squidge60

i asked him to come round for a talk he was very nice but said we had changed:(i dont feel i have he never talked to me about how much i was obviously xissing him off:(now hes told our dd theres a woman hes met from yrs ago and shes got a shop blah blah.just twist that knife i feel like i cant cope all i want is him back and i never never saw this coming i feel so devestated.:(

Spikey_2

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this alone Suidge60.... but remember that we are here for you .... i don't know where you live but i'm sure that there are other mse'ers who may live close and maybe just maybe could give you direct support?

You are def a better person and have done nothing wrong. it's true that people change in a relationship no matter what that relationship is and maybe your husband gave up a while ago?

i'm sorry if what I say is not what you want to hear.

In my experience once a person has taken certain steps it's very hard for them to change... especially a man... pride etc ect plays a part.

This other woman...... hmmmmmm

There is some counselling techniques which may help you.

One I like and may help is .... Solution Focused Therapy

If I can help or just offer a shoulder then pls let me know.

Spikey

squidge60

:(Tbh honest i am not completely blameless he went out 2wks ago and it felt "odd" and i got angry he got angry and i told him to move out didnt mean to say it:(i know its no excuse but he came back the next day to say someone at work had offered him a flat so i felt he had taken it to another level.That night he went off and 2/3 nights (has to come back for works van) i tried to talk but he didnt want to.:( Then he rang at the last wkend saying about coming around next day i felt gutted he wanted to leave it so long and blew:( and from there hes said he doesnt love me guess it serves me right the overwhelming sense of copeing is so huge.my dd is telling me to "get on with my own life" and my sons less than helpful as hes in a new relationship:(all my own fault noone else to blame my temper sometimes i guess wish i knew how he felt you know it hurts and i have no outlet.today he siad he cares but i so want more.:(no point in begging though is there.:(

squidge60

Spikey wrote: »

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this alone Suidge60.... but remember that we are here for you .... i don't know where you live but i'm sure that there are other mse'ers who may live close and maybe just maybe could give you direct support?

You are def a better person and have done nothing wrong. it's true that people change in a relationship no matter what that relationship is and maybe your husband gave up a while ago?

i'm sorry if what I say is not what you want to hear.

In my experience once a person has taken certain steps it's very hard for them to change... especially a man... pride etc ect plays a part.

This other woman...... hmmmmmm

There is some counselling techniques which may help you.

One I like and may help is .... Solution Focused Therapy

If I can help or just offer a shoulder then pls let me know.

Spikey

thankyou we are 25+ i cant believe he can just walk away i have issues from my childhood and it feels like this is so much worse because of this.:( i just dont get how he can say this now last sunday he was going to talk and now thats it "we have changed" i didnt think i had or him hes been hard work giving up smoking now i wish he never had he was always intolorant .i rang the samaritans the other day but they felt useless tbh.:(

jackieglasgow

squidge60 wrote: »

:(Tbh honest i am not completely blameless he went out 2wks ago and it felt "odd" and i got angry he got angry and i told him to move out didnt mean to say it:(i know its no excuse but he came back the next day to say someone at work had offered him a flat so i felt he had taken it to another level.That night he went off and 2/3 nights (has to come back for works van) i tried to talk but he didnt want to.:( Then he rang at the last wkend saying about coming around next day i felt gutted he wanted to leave it so long and blew:( and from there hes said he doesnt love me guess it serves me right the overwhelming sense of copeing is so huge.my dd is telling me to "get on with my own life" and my sons less than helpful as hes in a new relationship:(all my own fault noone else to blame my temper sometimes i guess wish i knew how he felt you know it hurts and i have no outlet.today he siad he cares but i so want more.:(no point in begging though is there.:(

Don't you dare blame yourself. It doesn't serve you right. It felt odd because it was odd, to you. It sounds to me as if the woman he has met is not a recent thing, and I'm sorry if it is hard to hear. Think about his behaviour before this, I'll bet he was giving off all sorts of signals, that's why you weren't comfortable because your instinct was telling you something wasn't right with his behaviour. There is no point in begging because he has already moved on. You need to think of yourself and your children now. Biggest hug I can manage to you, it's still early days, take your time, pace yourself, it will get slowly better. X

squidge60

jackieglasgow wrote: »

Don't you dare blame yourself. It doesn't serve you right. It felt odd because it was odd, to you. It sounds to me as if the woman he has met is not a recent thing, and I'm sorry if it is hard to hear. Think about his behaviour before this, I'll bet he was giving off all sorts of signals, that's why you weren't comfortable because your instinct was telling you something wasn't right with his behaviour. There is no point in begging because he has already moved on. You need to think of yourself and your children now. Biggest hug I can manage to you, it's still early days, take your time, pace yourself, it will get slowly better. X

thankyou tbh i just sent him an email asking cant we just do a trial because i cannot cannot get my head around thats it just like that:( i know you are right but how can he be like that no emotion none he "cares" last sunday he was going to talk this sunday talking to our dd about this woman i rang him and said "you need to rein yourself in its not good" whats she going to make of it.:(i never ever thought he would be like this i feel i was wrong but i guess if he loved me he would still be here

moodydonkey

squidge60 wrote: »

thankyou tbh i just sent him an email asking cant we just do a trial because i cannot cannot get my head around thats it just like that:( i know you are right but how can he be like that no emotion none he "cares" last sunday he was going to talk this sunday talking to our dd about this woman i rang him and said "you need to rein yourself in its not good" whats she going to make of it.:(i never ever thought he would be like this i feel i was wrong but i guess if he loved me he would still be here

Squidg it's over my lovely.

You now have to be really strong and think about yourself and what YOU are going to do.

Everyone is here for you and there is loads of help. I've been there as have many others so we will all offer support. Best of luck.

squidge60

moodydonkey wrote: »

Squidg it's over my lovely.

You now have to be really strong and think about yourself and what YOU are going to do.

Everyone is here for you and there is loads of help. I've been there as have many others so we will all offer support. Best of luck.

thankyou i know really but i always thought i was a strong person but now i just feel in peices tbh.he was a great oh/dad and that makes it 10 times worse:( i feel i did push him at the time i could only selfishly look at it from my point of view you know :(i have behaved pretty badly i feel and now paying the price.:(i know what you are saying i just want to crawl in a corner didnt think i would ever post something like this.:(noone tells you how instantly lonely and empty your life feels :(i cant help but try and backtrack sad but true :(wish this had happened years ago feel old

squidge60

feel so angry with oh telling dd about this woman and her daughter and the fact he had been up to see this woman (shes got a shop) why tell her so did he think she would like the idea this woman has a daughter my dd said "hows that going to work then" .its obvious hes going to end up with her:(why go from one hugely longterm relationship into another .am i missing something :(sorry peeps its i am trying to get my head around it its the NO warning :(he loved me to death he would die for me no idea when that didnt apply:(