**** I'm pregnant

Molly41

I was in a similar position 14 years ago. My 4th baby who was conceived as I neared the end of the contraceptive injection. Anyway my kids dad was adamant that we could not afford this child, we lived in the tiniest house, we had another son with very significant health problems. I knew that I would keep the baby - however what i didnt know was whether I would keep my kids dad. Any man who makes you choose between them and a baby are onto a losing wicket either now or in the future. Anyway it turned out just fine - I kept the baby and the kids dad after a week or so of him huffing around. DS3 was the best baby in the whole wide world, the most easiest and sunniest little chap. Its almost like he knew - poor little chap! He is still very even natured and kind and is the spitting image of his dad. Oh the irony!

clairec79

I went as far as arranging the appointment for it, I was upset too at the idea of being pregnant, and spent most of the first 2 weeks in tears, both at the pregnancy and the idea that I was going to terminate (which was mainly down to him being so against the idea of another child) and told him if I was past 8 weeks then no chance (he agreed with this as said it was different in his mind further on) scan showed I was 6 weeks - there was part of me hoping I'd either be further on or would miscarry/have an ectopic pregnancy so it would be taken out of my hands - I now really wish I didn't have those feelings at the time

In his mind it was the easy solution, it would be over with then we could move on - I think it was the day before the appointment when in floods of tears I pointed out that I wasn't going to be over it as soon as it had happened, that I wouldn't be able to change things but just because I didn't want to be pregnant it didn't mean I wanted an abortion either

About an hour before the appointment to go into all the details he told me to cancel it, I'm still not sure if I could have gone through with it at the end of the day while I don't want to be without him but I can live without him could I live with myself if I'd had a termination?

Ms_Piggy_2

My only advice would be don't rush into anything that can't be undone.

Whatever decision you make - and there is no right or wrong, just what is right for you - wait until the panic has died down a little. And get some impartial advice

Gingham_Ribbon

wannaberich1 wrote: »

and OH is not happy, he's told me I have to get rid of it.

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this upset.

I know you were looking from info from someone who has been in that situation, but I haven't and am not sure whether my comments are wanted or not, so feel free to ignore me.

I wonder if he's expressing his concerns or just making a demand of you? Does he ever 'put his foot down' on other things?

How is your relationship normally?

Would he be prepared to go to counselling together to discuss your options and find out more about how each other feels about this decision?

When you think about the pregnancy/having a baby/child how do YOU feel? You say you want to keep it. Do you know your own reasons for this (eg you didn't want children but don't want an abortion or you're warming to this baby?)

These are just to think about and obviously the answers are none of my business! I just worry about a situation where a woman is being forced into an abortion she doesn't want and I hope your partner can work with you on this.

The best to you.

newcook

I couldn't agree with ms piggy more!!!

I have never found myself in OP's position but a very close friend of mine had a termination last year - while she didnt particularly want to have an abortion, she and her OH weighed up the pro's and cons and they both realised as much as they would have loved to have gone ahead with it, she was 24, already had 3 children and they just didnt have the room (they live in a 2 bed flat) or the money to have another.
the baby would have been due on my birthday so last year on my birthday she lit a candle and said a prayer and said how sorry she was but hoped the baby would understand - she still feels guilty but also knows for them it was the best decision for them at the time.

big virtual hugs to you xxx

xmaslolly76

What a horrible situation to be in (((hugs))) OP. Havent really got anything to add the others are right dont be pressurised into something you dont want to do. The dessision has to be yours what ever you decide.

Plans_all_plans

You and the child you are carrying are worth more than this man. I cannot believe he could be so cruel and callous to someone he purports to love. If he is adamant over this I would leave, however hard it may be to cope alone. You will get through it: the stories of others on here are testament to that.

I don't want to say too much about my own personal experiences of this subject online, but I would recommend you speak to LIFE http://www.lifecharity.org.uk/ to get some counselling. I would add that this is a pro-life organisation, but they are non-judgemental and can offer support (both practical and emotional) through a crisis pregnancy.

Good luck.

C_Mababejive

Not the sensitive type is he?

misgrace

pollyanna24 wrote: »

and I have decided that I could never live with myself if I got rid of it. I would rather have two children and no man, than one child and one grumpy man.


.

:T Excellent response there

ceridwen

ClareEmily wrote: »

A few questions:

I see you are paying off two large loans, how will you cope on maternity pay?

Just what I was thinking...