**** I'm pregnant

wannaberich1

and OH is not happy, he's told me I have to get rid of it.

I want to keep it though but could be at risk of losing him, it's like I am having to chose between him and the baby.. but I don't want to and I don't know what to do.

Part of me wants to tell him to cop on and man up to the challenge but somehow I don't think that will work... Is anyone in the same boat? or had a similar experience?? what happened?
xx

ClareEmily

A few questions:
How old are you?
Have you been together long?
I see you are paying off two large loans, how will you cope on maternity pay?

To be honest ours was planned but didn'thappen for 6 years and even then my hubby was very shocked and I think scared about how it is going to change his life. Maybe give him more time to get his head around it. My hubby has only just started to get excited and I am half way through pregnancy.

Good luck xx

gwhizz75

If I ever got pregnant, and my OH told me I HAD to get rid of "it", I know exactly who I would be getting rid of.

Nobody here can tell you what to do, it is your life and only you know what is best for you. However, I suggest you take a lot of time to think this through and make sure you don't make a decision based on what your OH wants as you may end up regretting it for the rest of your life. You have already said that you want to keep the baby and to be honest, if that is what your instinct is telling you to do then that is what you should do.

Can I ask why your OH is so against the pregnancy? What is your current situation?

gonzo127

i cant give any exact advice on this as i have not been in the same situation (also because i am a man) but what i would advise is to try and find out why he is against having a child.

if you can find out why he wants you to have a abortion you might be able to address his fears. for example

is it because he doesnt think you will be able to cope financially, if so do a SOA now and when the baby would be born (check entitled to website for benifits information)

is it because he had a bad childhood and doesnt want to risk being a bad dad. in which case you can tell him that he should be able to learn from the mistakes made in his childhood to be able to give his child a better one

and one thing i do think you need to find out and seriously consider does he ever want to have a child and if not you will have to have a very careful thought on if you could be happy knowing you could never become a mother if you stay with him

daska

Surely it should be him that should cop on and man up to the challenge - takes 2 to make the baby in the first place...

Having said that, he's put you in a very nasty position. Not least because if you do terminate the pregnancy you might find you resent it so much that it destroys your relationship anyway.

Is he really worth it?

INT1

If he really loved you he would respect your decision to keep it. No person in the world can ever tell a mother to terminate a little baby.

Stick to your guns.

BitterAndTwisted

Are you in a long-term committed relationship and if so have you ever discussed a plan to have a family together? If you haven't it's very unfair to expect a partner to accept a role they've never said they wanted or planned for. However, how one becomes preggo is not a really a mystery, is it? How and why did this happen if you didn't plan it?

It really does sound to me like it's a choice between being a parent or being in a relationship with this man. Only you can decide which is more important to you and what the cost will be either way..

kegg_2

any man who could just say get rid of it as though you were going to throw out the left overs in the fridge is not worth keeping

the_cat

How long is it since you found out? He may have said all that out of shock at the initial finding out. Have you sat down and properly talked things through calmly?

pollyanna24

Just thought I would say that I am in the same situation.

We have a 19month old girl and I am 12 weeks (today) pregnant with our second.

I managed to get pregnant on the pill after a bout of sickness.

I am keeping the baby. Our relationship is on the rocks anyway, and I have decided that I could never live with myself if I got rid of it. I would rather have two children and no man, than one child and one grumpy man.

I thought long and hard about my decision and even asked the doctor about termination, but decided I couldn't go through with it. I still get comments about the baby from other half now, but I will live through it.

If we do separate (and it does appear that way), then it will be hard, but I will manage, cos I have to.

Do what you feel is right. If you get rid of it and can't live with the guilt, it may end up destroying your relationship anyway.

If you yourself feel you are not ready for a child, then you have a hard decision as to which road to go down. There is help and support out there and your doctor will be able to help you.

emsywoo123

pollyanna24 wrote: »

If we do separate (and it does appear that way), then it will be hard, but I will manage, cos I have to.

.

so so so so true :T:T:T:T

From one who is pregnant and seperated