We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.
This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
Feeling so bad - help
Comments
-
Caroline73 wrote: »Why is it ok to say that the OP slapping her son was ok given the circumstances and it was an isolated incident? Would you all say the same if the OP's husband had slapped her in the face because she was pushing his buttons?
Oh my God good luck :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:0 -
emsywoo123 wrote: »Oh, and for all the people that PM'd me to tell me how they had been slapped/slapped their kids with no regrets/would have no hesitation in slapping their kids/how there should be more slapping, thanks, but at least the posters on this thread have done in publicly, rather than privately.
And no, I will not be replying to any PM's.
I was slapped around the face and head (for nothing much btw) by my Dad when I was younger and I have never really forgiven him for it. He's lost a lot of respect from me for it and I hope that he can see how cruel it was now.
Anyone advocating violence like that to anyone seriously needs to have a good look at themselves and what the heck they are doing.
The OP clearly agrees what they did was out of order. It sounds like some time is needed to take a step back and look at what is going on in that house. The child doesn't sound like he's giving any respect to his mother at all.
I think a firm hand is definitely needed - but not in the way it was used on Wednesday night!"One day I realised that when you are lying in your grave, it's no good saying, "I was too shy, too frightened."
Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."0 -
emsywoo123 wrote: »Oh, and for all the people that PM'd me to tell me how they had been slapped/slapped their kids with no regrets/would have no hesitation in slapping their kids/how there should be more slapping, thanks, but at least the posters on this thread have done in publicly, rather than privately.
And no, I will not be replying to any PM's.
Err, I thought you were leaving us to this thread... several messages ago?
Jeez, get off your high horse!0 -
izzybusy23 wrote: »Err, I thought you were leaving us to this thread... several messages ago?
Jeez, get off your high horse!
I refer you to post #61
And no high horse, just stating that PMs were not needed nor would they be replied to.0 -
Nope no sarcasm intended (totally honest here) i do believe it is admirable to stand up for your beliefs throughout this thread even against the opposition directed at you
as to my decision, well its not so much that as my impression which I am fully willing to rescind should I be proved wrong, however from the current comments my impression has been gotten from your apparent inability to accept that human nature is flawed (including yours) and that anyone has it in them to lash out given certain situations, and that someone who has found themselves in such a situation which appears to be a isolated incident and who clearly has shown remorse for their momentary lapse of control should not be shown any form of compassion, advice or forgiveness and should instead be shown our full contempt.
Anyways I am going to bow out of this thread now since I did originally post my advice at the start of the thread
And I just wish to state that I hope the OP has managed to have a talk with her son and sorted this out a bit more amicably than we appear to have discussed it in this thread, and also wish to apologise to the OP for my part in de-railing this thread.Drop a brand challenge
on a £100 shop you might on average get 70 items save
10p per product = £7 a week ~ £28 a month
20p per product = £14 a week ~ £56 a month
30p per product = £21 a week ~ £84 a month (or in other words one weeks shoping at the new price)0 -
With all due respect, the OP made explicitly clear how bad she feels about what has happened, what is the point in making her feel worse? As she seems very upset ad down about it, why wouldn't people want to make her feel better.
It's very easy to be judgemental about parenting, but to be fair emsywoo perhaps the OP could turn round and criticise you for getting pregnant by someone you already knew to be an alcoholic. I'm sure you wouldn't want people making you feel worse by saying what an irresponsible thing that is to do, how unfair on the child etc. Let me just make clear that I am NOT trying to have a go at you here, just pointing out that no one is a perfect parent, people make mistakes and don't plan for all their actions, we are all human, and if we feel bad for making a mistake it is support, not criticism we need and deserve to get on here. You are definitely included in that.
WHAT??????
So she comes here lecturing about a regretable incident for which the OP is already in knots and she got pregnant by an alcoholic?? Hypocrite or what?
You might not judge dear Sarah but I for sure am. I hate people like that. It's always easy to lecture others when you weren't in their shoes and hind sight is a great thing, but this woman is just unreal. I am lost for words.0 -
-
How would you suggest punishing him? Denying privileges? Grounding him? Apply that to a husband-wife dynamic and you have mental abuse.Following your logic kids couldn't be punished at all.Caroline73 wrote: »Why is it ok to say that the OP slapping her son was ok given the circumstances and it was an isolated incident? Would you all say the same if the OP's husband had slapped her in the face because she was pushing his buttons?I'm not bad at golf, I just get better value for money when I take more shots!0 -
OP, I hope you feel a bit better today, what you did clearly shocked you.
Sit down with your family and tell them after this incident it has made you see you need to change the way the house is run so you've decided on some rule changes (Mum and Dad here, not just Mum)
Do it like supernanny does, tell them there will be no shouting by anyone, no hitting by anyone, and that they are responsible for tidying their own rooms, parents will clean but not tidy. Tell them they can have it as messy as they like in between as long as there are no dirty clothes or dishes in there, as long as it is properly tidied once a week.
Let them know there will be no screen time till homework is done, and that rooms must be tidy once a week on a specific day (we tidy on Saturday mornings here, leaves the rest of the weekend for playtime)
Another rule will be no cheek, no sarcastic comments etc.
Have dinner round the table if you don't already this helps communications remain open.
Get your OH's full public backing on this... even if you have a disagreement over something don't let the kids see you talk it over, always always present a united front.
OK so they're too old for the naughty step, but taking away a privilege when they break the rules will soon make them sit up and take notice.
Reward good behaviour with a visit to the local skatepark / theme park ' whatever you can use Tesco vouchers for.;) so it stays MSE.:money:Member of the first Mortgage Free in 3 challenge, no.19
Balance 19th April '07 = minus £27,640
Balance 1st November '09 = mortgage paid off with £1903 left over. Title deeds are now ours.0 -
what a mad country we live in! social workers may investigate a child whose face may have been slapped but can let kids like baby P and countless others be battered to death right under their noses.
Exactly why , as a school, we log everything.That slapped face may be just one occasion of many or the start of a campaign of abuse leading to another baby p.Or of course a one off never to be repeated .
The truth is we , as a school, don't know so we have to follow the rules and let the process happen.0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply
Categories
- All Categories
- 352.1K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.6K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 454.2K Spending & Discounts
- 245.2K Work, Benefits & Business
- 600.8K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 177.5K Life & Family
- 259K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.7K Read-Only Boards