Feeling so bad - help

emsywoo123

And in fact I am shocked that the general consensus is how it is not something to be ashamed or embarrassed by. :eek:

seven-day-weekend

emsywoo123 wrote: »

So I cannot have an opinion? I am not allowed to say that what I think she did was wrong and that I think by people saying to her "never mind, it happens" is only just going to make her feel better?

I am not sure WHY everyone wants her to feel better after what she has done? OP I know you regret it and that is really important, but I fear belittling what has been done is not really helping the OP either.

Yes of course you are entitled to an opinion, it was the language you expressed it in that was unneccessary, imho.

Also I don't think anyone was trivialising the incident, I certainly wasn't, but I really believe we must make allowances for human faiilings, people are not perfect. The OP is sorry for her actions and doesn't need continually telling that what she did was wrong, she already knows that. I don't suppose for a minute it will happen again.

We all make mistakes, I hope someone is around to show a bit of compassion when you make yours.

GEEGEE8

emsywoo123 - don't be so dramatic..

Raini

emyswoo123 yes you can have an opinion but so can everyone else. Like I said before I don't agree with smacking at all, for anything, full stop. But I'm not arrogant enough to believe I'm perfect enough to judge anybody else. Mistakes happen. Why can't the OP feel better about what she did? How long would you have her feel awful for?

emsywoo123

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

We all make mistakes, I hope someone is around to show a bit of compassion when you make yours.

#
But we do not all hit our kids.

emsywoo123

GEEGEE8 wrote: »

emsywoo123 - don't be so dramatic..

She slapped her child :eek:

GEEGEE8

emsywoo123 wrote: »

She slapped her child :eek:

And?

Some people chose to discipline their children in that way.

It does not make you right!

seven-day-weekend

emsywoo123 wrote: »

#
But we do not all hit our kids.

She slapped (not 'hit') him, once. She knows it was wrong and is still punishing herself over it.

What then do YOU think her punishment should be and how long should it carry on for?

GEEGEE8

This country is ridiculous.. more notice is taken from a strained mother trying her best to tell the son he has pushed his luck! by a slap across the face, not the end of the world and won't do him any harm.

There are FAR more important issues going on with child neglect etc than the OP's actions.

She didn't want to do it, therefore she will have to resolve the issue in her own mind.

I personally don't think she did anything wrong.

bugbabe1970

OP I really sympathise with you. When my son was 2 and a half I had mt 2nd child and was finding it really difficult to cope with the long hours on my own in the house with the 2 of them. One day I also snapped and gave my 2 yr old a really hard slap and sent him to bed. Hes 15 now and can you believe I still feel quilty for it. I only have to look at photos of him from that time and it brings tears to my eyes that i could have been so horrible to him when he was only a baby himself. But quess what? I have never slapped any of my children since ( I have 3 now) as I realised I was feeling angry and resentful to myself with not being able to cope with the situation better.

I spoke to my DS a few years ago about the incident as I was convinced he could still remember what had happened, but of course he couldnt. But he now uses it to his full advantages when he wants something and threatens me with social services because he was an "abused baby"!!!!!!

I have worked with children for over 20 years and before having my own was a nannny for 6 years. At one point i looked after 3 children under 5. when it came to my own son I didnt follow the best piece of advise I had been given while doing my training, which was that if you feel you are loosing control of the situation then take some time out. Ensure the children are safe (if they are little ones) go into another room, have a coffee and calm down. Of course it is very different with your own children as you have the emotional aspect of the situation, but I always try to remember this advice and it really helps.

Sit down with your son and have a chat about what happened, apologise to him, hug him and tell him you love him and I am sure he will forgive you.

good luck x x x