I Don't Have Kids Why Pay For Someone Else's?

Zaine_UK

dmg24 wrote: »

Protect yourself from what exactly?

Being homeless with no money.

adouglasmhor

Zaine_UK wrote: »

Hello all,

I have a quick question which is worrying me because i'm a honest person. My GF has 2 kids and the dad pays maintence.

We have been going out for 2 years and are talking about moving in together. I will pay her rent. My income for 2009/2010 was about 6K as i worked Part Time.

I'm starting a new job near her and my income will be 20K. She just told me her income is 12k, but she gets £135 a week! Tax Credits as a single working mum of 2 kids.

What i want to know is will she lose her £135 a week and if she does why should i have to pay another £600 a month on top of the rent i was going to pay her for living they. It doesn't seem fair if this is true. I've choosen not to have kids.

The father will still pay maint for the kids, she will still get working families of some sort at the incomes you have described.

Does she know you are a tightwad?

tattycath

Why do you need a safety net? if you rented a property for a year (for example) at £400 per month, when you leave you don't get all your rent back do you?!
Re. kids causing problems-that's part of their job-deal with it-it's not unique to your situation, it happens in step families.

Rolandtheroadie

The issue seems to have gotten a bit clouded.
The 2 of them want to move in together because they're in love. He hasnt a problem with the kids.
To avoid complications, they will both pay their own way with him contributing to the household bills.
The only worry they BOTH seem to have is how this will affect HER Tax Credits claim. Quite a reasonable question if you ask me.
But the only people who will be able to answer, are the tax credit people. Call them.

blue_monkey_2

Zaine_UK wrote: »

Being homeless with no money.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

cat04

Zaine_UK wrote: »

Poor blokes.

So you think it's right that i move in pay her mortgage and all her bills. She can dump me at anytime and i get nothing? Or don't have a safety net?

Surely if you were renting on your own you would be paying rent and all the bills and 'get nothing' for it when you move out?? If you use the facilities you pay for them!

I'm divorced with 2 kids and when I met my OH and we moved in together he took them on as his own. I'm a stay at home mum and his wage, CB, CTC and maintenence all go equally to paying the bills from our joint account. Yes, the mortgage is in joint names (I couldn't have got one otherwise) but the sizable deposit I put down is protected in case we ever did split up in the future. We love each other dearly, but it's better to be safe then sorry when children are involved. My OH would never dream of saying that he wouldn't contribute anything towards the upkeep of the house or children - he seems them as his own and they see him as their dad.

I guess I can see your POV but see it from hers too (or how we see it from what you've said): Why would any mum want to pay (twice - once for the increased bills, i.e. gas and electric, and then again as her benefits may be reduced due to your wage) to have her BF move in with her if he's not willing to contribute financially or wants nothing to do with her children??

Zaine_UK

scotsman4th wrote: »

The issue seems to have gotten a bit clouded.
The 2 of them want to move in together because they're in love. He hasnt a problem with the kids.
To avoid complications, they will both pay their own way with him contributing to the household bills.
The only worry they BOTH seem to have is how this will affect HER Tax Credits claim. Quite a reasonable question if you ask me.
But the only people who will be able to answer, are the tax credit people. Call them.

Exactly... to many feminists in here on they high horses. You lot make me sound a right !!! hole. In the two years i've never once been bad to my girlfriend even when she cheated on me. I love her and have shown her nothing but love even when her son phyiscally assaulted me.

dreamywings1

dreamywings1 wrote: »

Try http://www.turn2us.entitledto.co.uk/entitlementcalculator.aspx?AspxAutoDetectCookieSupport=1 Its a benefit calculator so you can see how much she will be loosing or gaining and whether or not it would be more beneficial to find a place on your own.

Refer back to post 2 it gives a link and tells you exactly what your entitled to as a couple.

AnxiousMum

OP - don't know how old the kids are.....but......

Say there's a girl and a boy.......ages 14 and 16

The boy comes home from school - has a school residential trip that is going to cost £360 to go on a biology fieldwork course. She doesn't have the money to pay for it in the time frame required. The other kid, has school prom coming up - need to pay for a yearbook, prom tickets, limo, fancy gown, leavers hoody etc. - totalling in the region of another £300-350. Mother is on tight budget, and cannot come up with it all at once.

Are you going to feel comfortable ignoring the need for financial help, whilst going out and buying yourself new computer games or whatever it is you spend your money on, knowing that the kids are going without things that most kids get? If you cannot see yourself in that situation helping out where you can (and it does happen - just last November I had three field trips each in excess of £300 each come home - two for one of my sons, one for one of 'our' sons) and they all had to be paid by the end of that month.

My OH arranged for OUR child's trip to be paid in instalments - and due to the timing of the trip that was doable, but he made sure that the trip for my son was paid right away so he wouldn't lose out - was also a 'first come first served' basis on that.

Which step dad would you be?

tattycath

Zaine_UK wrote: »

Exactly... to many feminists in here on they high horses. You lot make me sound a right !!! hole. In the two years i've never once been bad to my girlfriend even when she cheated on me. I love her and have shown her nothing but love even when her son phyiscally assaulted me.

I Don't Have Kids Why Pay For Someone Else's?

The title of your thread says it all really. nothing to do with how well you treat your gf