Girlfriend leaving but wants half of house

Broken_hearted

Its simple her name is on the mortgage she ownes half the house. It's sad that the relationship broke up but she is only taking what is hers. You had a choice and you chose to have equal shares.

hankc35

Broken_hearted wrote:

Its simple her name is on the mortgage she ownes half the house. It's sad that the relationship broke up but she is only taking what is hers. You had a choice and you chose to have equal shares.

He has also chosen to have his son , he is responsable for half the child, his name is on the birth certificate. Where does choice come in now???????

looby75

hankc35 wrote:

In order to overcome your bias you have to throw out any outdated concepts, whilst some women make good parents an equal amount of men also do, the "emotional" concept of loving a child and being a good parent in modern society is just as much about being paternal as maternal, for many men their paternal instinct is equal to any maternal instinct. Its only a matter of time till the courts catch up with modern views and modern society.

maternal instinct an Outdated concept???

hankc35

looby75 wrote:

maternal instinct an Outdated concept???

Paternal instinct an Outdated concept ??????

Judging by the courts it has been, I dont think for much longer though.

You must get over your automatic bias towards "mother knows best, its maternal" , its not I'm afraid. your simply equal to the father.

chatta

Broken_hearted wrote:

Its simple her name is on the mortgage she ownes half the house. It's sad that the relationship broke up but she is only taking what is hers. You had a choice and you chose to have equal shares.

I am sorry but see my post earlier, there is no such thing as common law wife (I am one) It ends up being a moral issue that only they can sort out. Unless I was very badly advised by solicitor its not so cut and dried as people think. :mad: I was told he can claim extra for the years I spent at home bringing up our kids Whether a judge agrees in the court on the day is yet to be seen, but its not as simple as me being on the mortgage.

hobo28

Guys guys, we're so far off the subject here. The OP needs our help, not squabbling over men vs women. Yes some women do see their kids as cash cows, some men walk away without a care in the world. We all have our own experiences and thoughts on the subject.

However, we have a guy here who is obviously in need of advice. He's could have been more tactful but given what he's going through, I'd be inclined to let it slide a bit.

Let's get back on the subject please.

chatta

hobo28 wrote:

Guys guys, we're so far off the subject here. The OP needs our help, not squabbling over men vs women. Yes some women do see their kids as cash cows, some men walk away without a care in the world. We all have our own experiences and thoughts on the subject.

However, we have a guy here who is obviously in need of advice. He's could have been more tactful but given what he's going through, I'd be inclined to let it slide a bit.

Let's get back on the subject please.

I'm trying

Phatmouse

Sometimes people fall out of love. Its not her fault and its not his either. When the relasionship started they may have wanted the same thing and now they want different things, it really is as simple as that. The difficulty come when there is property and children involved. Chances are he is feeling really hurt that she ended the relasionship and has now found someone else, this is probably influencing his decision regarding the property and the child. the most difficult thing for him to do is take a step back and look at the situation objectivley but this is what must be done.

No one person should keep the house or equity, it should be shared so they both have a chance of getting on with their lives, they had a partnership, he worked she produced children, I have done both and know which one is harder, but that is beside the point. The children would find it very traumatic to be split up. They still need their mum and dad. She cannot be punished for her decision and if he was unhappy with the financial arangment he should have delt with it when they were together or used birth control to ensure she was in a position to work and contribute to the household more.

Legally half of the house is hers and maintenace is due, she may not want to bring her children up on benefits. To have such a jaded view of women is quite terrifying in this day and age, I love my partner and he loves me but would I want to stick around if I didn't or he didn't, I would rather admit we gave it a go, produced children from love and moved on to a place where we were both happy. You cannot hurt someone because they don't need/want you anymore.

hankc35

maintenace is due, she may not want to bring her children up on benefits.

Why are you assuming this? The OP has suggested that he can look after his son, so yes maybe maintenance is due to him HE may not want to bring HIS child up on benefits, I think that the child and the family home is best left with the OP, and the mother needs to see what child care allowance that she and her new partner can pay to the OP.

Phatmouse

hankc35 wrote:

Why are you assuming this? The OP has suggested that he can look after his son, so yes maybe maintenance is due to him HE may not want to bring HIS child up on benefits, I think that the child and the family home is best left with the OP, and the mother needs to see what child care allowance that she and her new partner can pay to the OP.

Why are you assuming this, do you know him.

Do you think that because she has fallen out of love with him that the children should be ripped apart. Are you sure that he has offered to take the child because he cannot bear to be apart from him or because he feels that he would be less financially obligated to her if he did.

I don't know any of this as I am not personally involved in their situation and assume that you are not either.

If she leaves and takes the child, she WILL be entitled to half the house and maintenance.

If I leave my partner and leave my child HE will be entitled to maintenance.

And before you start, when I have finished my maternity leave I will return to work at which point my partner will become a full time dad, and our child will be all the better for it as he is more suited to full time parenting that I