Girlfriend leaving but wants half of house

lisa_75

hobo28 wrote:

Yes, once you marry you automatically get parental responsibility for your own kids.

.

It is not automatic. When you marry, you have to re-register the birth to show that the child's mother and father are now married. This is very important as "failure to re-register may affect the legal rights of both child and parents."

http://www.havering.gov.uk/index.cfm?articleid=599

We had to do this for our kids when we married last year to ensure my husband had parental responsibility.

lisa_75

gettingdivorced wrote:

Do both partys get parental responsibilty if the kids were born out of wedlock but later the parents marry. I ask as neither of my kids are registered as children of the marriage (we never got round to changeing it) and we are now getting divorced

You need to re-register the children to show that they were children of the marriage in order to get full rights as their father. You can do this yourself with a simple trip to the registry office and a copy of your marriage certificate and the children's birth certificates.

http://www.havering.gov.uk/index.cfm?articleid=599
http://www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/index.cfm?request=c1001539

museumsteve

Hi guys and girls

I came across this thread again and thought I could update it.
It's obviously a good few years on from my troubles.

I kept the house and paid her an amount which we agreed on, it meant re-mortgaging obviously but was worth it to stay here.

My youngest wanted to stay with me which was absolutely awesome, I think we now have an amazing life together. He is now 16 and trialling for various football clubs and academies for when he leaves school this year. Being a single Dad is fantastic in so many ways.

My eldest is 20 this year and moved with his Mum but only about 30 miles away, he comes and stays a couple of times a week and still has his own bedroom here He is now at music college and also works part-time.

The ex got married a couple of years ago which is cool. She comes here every Tuesday to see our youngest and we still go to his football matches every Sunday together without fail.

Looking back, I appreciate my initial posts were probably written with more emotion than maybe a level-head.

If I had to offer any advice to anyone that's going through a similar situation, keep a level-head and stay as amicable as possible. We managed the whole ordeal without solicitors except for drawing up the financial arrangements regarding the house. It makes life a lot easier, negotiations are possible when everything is amicable and above all else of course..put the kids first

DVardysShadow

museumsteve wrote: »

Hi guys and girls

I came across this thread again and thought I could update it.
It's obviously a good few years on from my troubles.

museumsteve brings history to life!

well done for posting back. I skipped from the first page after I saw how acrimonious it was getting and when it was written. Glad to see it all worked out well and good to see how it all worked out.

misgrace

I saw that the topic was started a few years ago and wondered why anyone was posting, then I realised Steve had come back to give an update, so I started reading a bit.

Just like to say Steve, well done for moving on, and getting your life back in order, and its refreshing to read that both you and the ex can remain on good terms.

Also, thankyou for taking the time to come back on and letting us know how things were with you, you will inspire a few who read this.

seven-day-weekend

Well done, glad everything worked out and that you have the pleasure of your son living with you, also that you are on good terms with your other son and his mum. xx

Mrs_Imp

lisa_75 wrote: »

I am sorry, but this kind of attitude from men makes me angry. There is more to contributing to a household than just paying the bills.

You're not sorry, else you wouldn't have made the statement. By adding this, it makes you come accross as if you are most definitely not sorry and have a bit of an axe to grind. It's like people who say "I'm not being funny but..."

lisa_75 wrote: »

Also, as you are not married, unless your son was born after 2003 or you have signed a parental responsibility agreement she will have sole parental responsibilty of your son.

Why? More bias towards the mother! There's more to bringing up children than just looking after them. There's the financial responsibility of providing for them. So the way you're putting things says:
He provides financially for the house, she looks after it, so is entitled to a substantial share because they both have responsibility for the house.
She looks after the children, he provides financially for them so he gets to be a weekend Dad, even though they both share responsibility for them?!?! I'm including both children here, as after 14 years I imagine he would've built up a relationship with the other child.

As for the poster who said that he must've done something to drive her away. What nonsense. Why must he have? Sometimes people just leave of their own accord, despite telling their OH that everything is fine and dandy and there isn't a problem in the relationship.

Flearoy

Ah, more moral judging on a money saving forum. Perhaps those on the lofty heights of the moral ground would be better contributing to say, a Daily Mail column. How dare the OP feel aggrieved by staying at home while his ex goes out with her new BF?

To the OP, in amongst the finger wagging there was some sound financial advice.

Chin up!

kindofagilr

I am so pleased you came back to update us and that everything is ok with you

BitterAndTwisted

Museumsteve's follow-up post has restored my faith in human nature. Thank you so much for posting! Just shows what can be done if both parties keep their minds focussed on the well-being of their children rather than getting all daggers-drawn with each other. Wonderful news.