Daughter and !!!!!

peachyprice

onlyroz wrote: »

It seems like most people are saying that. We have a situation where a child tells their parents they had sex with someone, but won't tell the police the same thing. What are you all expecting the police to do in these circumstances?

No-one is saying that a man should be charged, but at the very least he should questioned and the circumstances fully investigated, and it certainly should never have been dismissed quite so readily just because the child wouldn't talk.

So are you saying that because the child wouldn't tell the police no offence had been committed?

RAS

Roz

You have got the wrong end of the stick.

The older sister had sex with her grandparent's mate and has since gone to live with him. This girl refused to tell the police about their under-age activities.

Mother has now allowed the younger sister (aged 14 and therefore in the same legal position) to go on holiday with the older sister and the man who had underage sex with the older sister.

Father is concerned about the old man's intentions towards the younger sister.

onlyroz

peachyprice wrote: »

So are you saying that because the child wouldn't tell the police no offence had been committed?

How can you prove that an offence *was* committed?

peachyprice

onlyroz wrote: »

How can you prove that an offence *was* committed?

Sorry, I really don't know what point you are trying to make.

onlyroz

RAS wrote: »

Roz

You have got the wrong end of the stick.

The older sister had sex with her grandparent's mate and has since gone to live with him. This girl refused to tell teh police about their under-age activities.

Mother has now allowed the younger sister (aged 14 and therefore in the same legal position) to go on holiday with the older sister and the man who had underage sex with the older sister.

Father is concerned about the old man's intentions towards the younger sister.

No I don't believe I have got the wrong end of the stick. But there are two separate issues here, regarding the older child and the younger child. Both of these issues hinge on whether or not the gentleman is a sex offender - and that cannot be proven unless either a child admits to having sex with him, or unless he's witnessed acting inappropriately.

So if we accept that there is no proof that this man has committed an offense, and there is also no evidence that he's planning on committing any other offenses (e.g. by behaving inappropriately with the younger child) then the only actions that the OP can take are to discuss with the mother whether or not the younger child should be allowed to go on holiday or not.

If, however, the OP does has some evidence that the younger child is in danger, then of course he should take action to protect his child.

RAS

onlyroz wrote: »

Both of these issues hinge on whether or not the gentleman is a sex offender - and that cannot be proven unless either a child admits to having sex with him, or unless he's witnessed acting inappropriately.

You need to read the OP's early posts.

davidhwdn wrote: »

i can't believe the mother let her go after what he did.The eldest admitted they had sexual relations at 15 years old but wouldn't tell the police

KittyKate

Hmm. Roz, I don't think it matters whether there is evidence to prove that he is intent on acting inappropriately with the 14 year old child. Not when there is evidence to show he has 'form' with a younger/underage girl. It's not like this is rumour - the 19yo, when she was 15, admitted sleeping with a 60yo man, but wouldn't tell the police. (Maybe she thought she loved him - abusers groom like this - or maybe she was frightened). There is of course the thought that she might have lied but since she is now in a relationship with him, it doesn't look likely, does it?

So, a 60 year old man sleeps with a 15 year old girl, establishes a relationship with her, and when the opportunity arises, invites her 14 year old sister along on holiday. What are the sleeping arrangements for this holiday? You can't give a 14 year old her own room (well, you didn't when I was a kid, I slept in a room with my parents). So what will she be exposed to? Her 19 year old sister sleeping with her 60 year old boyfriend? Is this healthy? Is it healthy she will be in minimal dress (beachwear) around a probable predator?

He's not an 'ordinary' 60 year old man. He is not this girl's grandad. He is sleeping with her sister, and has been since she was mere months older than she is now.

I am generally a believer in innocent until proven guilty but I also apply common sense - alarm bells are ringing for me and with the evidence there already is then I say this is wrong, it should never have happened, and the girls' mother should be ashamed of herself for allowing it.

OP, I can't imagine how frustrated you must be feeling.

RAS

davidhwdn wrote: »

They are in cyprus now.

North or southern Cyprus

Read here re ae of consent in both countries http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Europe#Cyprus

onlyroz

RAS wrote: »

You need to read the OP's early posts.

I think you highlighted the wrong part of the quote. The more important part is the "but wouldn't tell the police". The girl either lied to her parents or to the police. Who can tell which time she was being truthful?

I'm not saying that I wouldn't feel uncomfortable if I was in the OP's position - but this is an issue that he should be discussing with the mother of his two girls. Presumably the mother has her reasons for thinking that this holiday is acceptable and that their younger daughter is not in any danger.

What are the sleeping arrangements for this holiday? You can't give a 14 year old her own room (well, you didn't when I was a kid, I slept in a room with my parents). So what will she be exposed to? Her 19 year old sister sleeping with her 60 year old boyfriend? Is this healthy?

You're making a lot of assumptions here. And would it be any more "healthy" if her sister's boyfriend were closer in age?

whitewing

Regardless of the sex issue, I don't think it is healthy for the 19 year old or the 14 year old to be on holiday with the 64 year old (who is not a grandparent).

The 19 year old is deemed an adult and therefore can make an unhealthy decision herself.

The 14 year old is a child and it shouldn't be happening, even if mother seems to think it's okay. My own mother is incapable of making a responsible decision about anything, and that is where others should be able to step in.