Daughter and !!!!!

whitewing

In james' defence - much as I disagree with the majority of what he wrote - my initial reading of the original post was simply that the OP was out to make trouble with the ex because of his wording and style of writing. Had he been calmer (and maybe approaching the matter calmly and insistently), he may get further forward with the authorities.

OP - could you speak to the Embassy over in Cyprus to see if they can check your youngest is ok?

kezlou

Okay this is going to offend, no doubt but i'm going to post anyway.

I personally know a someone who at the age 16 had a relationship with an older man. By 17 they were married and pregnant with they first child.
Fast forward 14 years later the couple were still together very happily married and totally in love with two children. Unfortunately last year my friends husband died at 69yrs old of cancer.
Now my friends husband was absolutely fantastic, he adored her and worshipped the children. He also got on magnificently with my friends family and would take my them all on holiday inc my friends younger sister.In fact i knew him personally and he was a lovely man and a pleasure to be around, and he had a cracking sense of humour..

Now i'm not saying that this 60yr old is not a !!!!!phile, for all i know he could be. All am i saying is that the relationship could be the same as my friends relationship i have just described.
But if you are seriously worried and concerned, you need to speak to the school and ask why your daughter has been allowed to go on holiday during term time. Also inform social services and describe your worries and concerns.

all i'm saying take a deep breath and fully access everything that has happened, when your 14 daughter comes back just casually ask how the holiday was. BUT do not rant or rave as she will not tell you anything.

I'm sorry if my post has offended anyone.

RAS

onlyroz wrote: »

Presumably the police did, quite rightly, make inquiries, but didn't find anything concrete enough to prosecute.

The fact that the man concerned was not prosecuted does not alter the fact that according to the older girl at the time, she had underaged sex with him.

Which explains why her father is very worried about the younger girl going on holiday with this man, supervised only by someone who thought it was OK have underage sex herself.

Strange as it may seem, most people here think that is unwise and think that the father is right to want to protect his younger daughter.

RAS

kezlou wrote: »

Okay this is going to offend, no doubt but i'm going to post anyway.

I personally know a someone who at the age 16 had a relationship with an older man. By 17 they were married and pregnant with they first child.
Fast forward 14 years later the couple were still together very happily married and totally in love with two children. Unfortunately last year my friends husband died at 69yrs old of cancer.

It does not offend, but the woman you are talking about was 16 years old when they got together.

And the end of the tale explains why society generally prefers woman to take up with younger me; they are more likely to be around to see their children grow up.

Gingham_Ribbon

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I thought that was an awful accusation to have made but hoped the OP hadn't noticed.

I've deleted my reference to James's post as, obviously, I hope he didn't mean what he said and will remove it.

kezlou

RAS wrote: »

It does not offend, but the woman you are talking about was 16 years old when they got together.

And the end of the tale explains why society generally prefers woman to take up with younger me; they are more likely to be around to see their children grow up.

I'm sorry but that bit about seeing children grow up is an awful thing to say and actually quite offended me personally. I know people whose partners have died young and left young children behind.

Two years ago a woman aged 27 lost her husband also aged 27 also to cancer. He left behind whose four children aged from 6years - 6months. No one lives forever but a person can die at any age and at any time.

I'm lucky because me and my partner have been together coming up 11 years but my sister's partner her with three children aged from 4yrs - 8weeks old. He has not been contact with them since he walked out, the youngest daughter doesn't even know who he is.

RAS

I am not going to get into a discussion on someone else's thread.

kezlou

I understand entirely RAS,

I just hope nothing happens to the OP's daughter, fingers crossed all will be well.

KittyKate

onlyroz wrote: »

You're making a lot of assumptions here. And would it be any more "healthy" if her sister's boyfriend were closer in age?

Exposing a 14 year old child to sexual acts is wrong, full stop, and so therefore no, it wouldn't be 'healthy', whatever the age of the boyfriend. But that *isn't* my point.

My point is that if he is, as many people assume (and in this case I'd rather assume and be wrong, then let anything bad happen to a child), an individual prone to grooming children, then normalising ANY type of behaviour around this particular man is wrong, as a 14 year old child's mind is malliable in terms of right and wrong behaviours.

He may (and I hope to God this is the case) do nothing to or with the child. But are you honestly saying that it wouldn't cross your mind that he would or could? Given his form? Would you take that chance with your own daughter?

Whether or not the 19 year old was lying (and goodness knows why she would, but I accept it does happen, even if I don't believe it to be the case here) when she was 15, ANY suggestion of a much older man behaving that way with a child (and I'm sorry, 15 IS a child however they may act) would mean I was on permanent watch from then on.

Of course there are many cases of very very young girls/boys meeting a much older partner, falling in love and so on, but I would hate to think that in today's society we'd strive so hard not to offend someone that we'd actually LET these things happen to our children. If he didn't want to be accused he should have ensured he wasn't alone with her, she was a child. Now she's 19 she is free to do as she pleases but she must see that her sister is a child and needs to be protected. If we don't watch out for obviously concerning events like this, then tragedies will happen. Often when you go back through such tragedies, clear, obvious signs were missed.

peachyprice

onlyroz wrote: »

Presumably the police did, quite rightly, make inquiries, but didn't find anything concrete enough to prosecute.

How have you come to that conclusion?
OP said the 15yo refused to talk to the police, how from that do you presume that they full investigated the man?

They CANNOT prosecute without her statement, but that is a world apart from the offence not being committed.