Partner moving in advise

Tom_G_3

Welshwoofs wrote: »

It warms my heart when I come across a family who really know how to put the welfare of the child first.....

Seriously, is anyone suprised we have so many NEETs roaming around collecting ASBOs if the view of some modern parents is "Screw the baby...we're not living together 'cos it means less benefit money"

Op - shame on you and your partner. If you can't be bothered toughing it out and providing for that baby as a couple under the same roof, then perhaps you should have used contraception!

Seriously another one...
Ok lets now break down what your input shows, what you are basically saying is we are a family who will live our lives on benefits scamming the system bring up children who will be given ASBO's we dont know how to look after our children. We are scum!

Right lets do this from the point of view that we accept no benefit, financial help offered and go it from hear on, on our own.

My other half is 7 and a half months pregnant yet still working and will till she can no more. When shifts become available she takes them. Money is not to bad not great but not poor either, she had decreased hours before I met her to look after her child, keeping her bond strong with her son and not letting him feel like he is being passed from pillar to post. When she was working before we got together lil man would stay with her mum. Like everyone or should I say the higher majority of the UK population we have debts already that need paying too.

I lost my job and am seeking employment, check the local, national and international media jobs are in short supply and only getting harder and harder to come by daily. I give up my JSA I have nothing, nada, zilch!

Her money would not cover us both the 3 year old and (when she comes) the new born, as well as keep a roof over our heads, let alone the bills.

So now we are homeless with 2 children, we can afford to feed and clothe them thats it, no toys, no luxaries nothing. Tough deal with it kids, because certain people of this world and there shallow views deem your parents should not be allowed to seek financial help, even though they have pumped a combined 30 years worth of tax and NI into the country, already and currently continue to do so!

So what do YOU think will be the implications of bring up 2 children homeless instead of there parents seeking and getting financial help till they find there feet again, allowing them a better more comfortable, happier upbringing. If your partner was told the chances of her EVER having kids is slim to none due to a medical condition and she fell pregnant with your baby would you want to take this possible one and only chance or cast it aside because sociaty will frown at you.

If you had kids yourself stupid unthought comments like that would not be placed. Surly putting your kids out on the strets or even into care would create a worse upbringing then fending for them the best way you can at the given time. Please, dont get involved in things you dont understand just so you can be deemed to be an "upstanding member of the community"!

Your comment has to win stupidest comment of the day award congrats :T
So ladies and gents dont use any benefits to help bring up your kids when your in desperate times, as this will lead to future ASBO's for them, instead take no benefits leave the kids homeless and there far less likely to run into trouble when they get older!

Pure classic!

mandi

Welshwoofs wrote: »

It warms my heart when I come across a family who really know how to put the welfare of the child first.....

Seriously, is anyone suprised we have so many NEETs roaming around collecting ASBOs if the view of some modern parents is "Screw the baby...we're not living together 'cos it means less benefit money"

Op - shame on you and your partner. If you can't be bothered toughing it out and providing for that baby as a couple under the same roof, then perhaps you should have used contraception!

Classic , best yet from you .. Would you like a bigger shovel , or perhaps not your doing a brilliant job without one

Lou76

Tom_G wrote: »

OP: Right lets do this from the point of view that we accept no benefit, financial help offered and go it from hear on, on our own.

Me:No one, in the current climate, would honestly expect you to do that.

OP: So now we are homeless with 2 children, we can afford to feed and clothe them thats it, no toys, no luxaries nothing.

Me: Talk about melodramatic? There's no such reason to think that you will end up homeless, if both of your accounts are anything to go by. The worst that could happen, notice I said could, is that you have a shortfall, which you have to make up, in your rent - hardly an eviction notice.

OP: So what do YOU think will be the implications of bring up 2 children homeless instead of there parents seeking and getting financial help till they find there feet again, allowing them a better more comfortable, happier upbringing. If your partner was told the chances of her EVER having kids is slim to none due to a medical condition and she fell pregnant with your baby would you want to take this possible one and only chance or cast it aside because sociaty will frown at you.

Me: My Mum had 2 miscarriages [both after the 3 month period] and then a wee girl (Margaret Mary) who died when she was 7 hours old (on my Dad's 21st Birthday), before she had my brother, and then, after another miscarriage she had me. All they way through every pregnancy she was told she'd never carry full term [granted, she didn't - my brother & I were 8 & 6 weeks premature, in the 70s that was classed as serious- my brother was in a incubator for 6 weeks, me for 3] and was advised against it - she battled through all the odds and I'm thankful she did - I wouldn't be here otherwise.

That doesn't dispute that your kids aren't homeless though.

I'd never condemn anyone who puts their unborn child's life above their own, especially given my back story, but I resent anyone who would use theirs' as ammunition to score points...

.

...or benefits.

OP, the best start you can give that wee one of yours is just to be honest from the start - that can't be measured in monetary terms, it's inherent .

I apologise, I couldn't work out how to quote bits and pieces, I've tried to make it clearer but I doubt it does. lol

Oldernotwiser

Tom_G wrote: »

Why is it everytime this post seems to be put to bed someone must pipe up again serious whats the matter with you people, I just thank you in my last post and you come back with that.

Did you not just read what I put, we miss calculated what we are allowed to claim for, why or how could they prosecute us, THEY OWE US if anything

hahaha

People are so quick to point the finger it makes me laugh, its nice to have the last laugh.

I would have let the post lie except you seemed to be disappearing in a cloud of smugness.

You MIGHT have been eligible for more benefit if you had been honest from the start but the fact is that you have lied about your situation to the authorities and that is benefit fraud. They will not backdate your benefits if you come clean now but may very well prosecute because your girlfriend has claimed as a single person when she is not.

When claiming benefits, as in everything else, honesty is the best policy.

AnxiousMum

It quite likely doesn't get put to rest Tom_G, because until you guys come clean, or get caught, with your benefit fraud, it's not really put to rest is it? You have both quite clearly stated you are a family in every sense of the word, you eat together, you shop together, you do family things together, yet by pulling a little scam of saying you stay at your mother's house, you are ripping off, as a couple - as you too are going along with it - the benefits system. It's when I see posts like this that I hope someone from any of the fraud reporting services could request IP addresses to locate the poster - and conduct a proper investigation into the fraud that has been admitted here.

The tax payer does not owe you anything. Your girlfriend has ripped the system off. The system is there for an emergency situation, a back up to not being able to provide for yourself. Not to be worked fraudulently.

Just as a side note - several reports of people in our local paper this last couple of weeks of fraudulent benefits cases - one woman sentenced to one year in jail (and she has young children - but will likely be out in 4-6 months), and several others who have been named and shamed for their part in fraud. I would highly suggest your girlfriend coming clean - it would hardly be beneficial for the children to have their mother named and shamed in the press for benefit fraud would it?

Welshwoofs

Tom_G wrote: »

Seriously another one...
Ok lets now break down what your input shows, what you are basically saying is we are a family who will live our lives on benefits scamming the system bring up children who will be given ASBO's we dont know how to look after our children. We are scum!

No, what I am saying is that you are putting your own needs before that of your child. You and your partner, as you've stated yourself, are a couple. The best thing for any child is a stable household, but you're denying your new baby that because you're living apart from the Mother for purely financial reasons. In doing so you are committing benefit fraud (as others have said), so it's not even a case of me being picky...you're actually breaking the law.

By the way, I don't think people who are on benefits raise children who end up in trouble, I think people who are dishonest raise children who may well end up in trouble. Children gain their moral compass from the people who have the greatest influence on their early lives - you. What you are intent on teaching your children is that it's fine to gain money fraudulently if it suits you.

Now all the hysterical rhetoric about being made homeless is pure !!!!!!!! and you know it. In a situation where one of you is out of the work and the other is doing 16 hours you'd be in receipt of Housing Benefit. I would just add that until I was six (1970s) I was brought up by a single Mother who didn't get any benefits at all - she worked a full time job and a weekend cleaning job on top to try and make ends meet....which they frequently didn't. We had no bathroom and an outside toilet. No TV, no phone and no car. Clothes were charity shop or made from material offcuts. Food was veg grown in the garden and roadkill or bunnies helpful local farmers shot and gave her. People manage, even if life is bloody tough and you go without most of the things other people have. What I remember of that time was happy because I had quality time with my Mother - hedgerow foraging, cooking, gardening etc and it didn't matter a jot that we were on the bones of our !!!!.

Now in the case of you and your partner she should be going to the CSA to get the Father of child #1 to contribute, whether or not she personally wants anything to do with him. Pride has nothing to do with it - if you both had enough money to support your family then you could turn down his contributions based on pride, but you clearly don't.

I do wish you luck, but you need to come clean because what you're doing is legally and morally wrong and is not in the best interests of your youngsters.

Lip_Stick

I don't understand why everyone is having a go at Tom_C. He was working in January, and wasn't living with his partner then. I'm guessing his partner would have been a lot better off having him there at that time, than not, so it can't have purely been down to loss of benefits as to why they haven't been living together.

Now Tom_C has stated that regardless of the situation as it stands, they will move in together and declare this, people are still mouthing off. It's only been a few months since January for goodness sake.

alwaysonthego_2

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