Wish me luck tonight-another night of baby not sleeping thru

xmaslolly76

JBD you beat me to it those poor children were left for hrs upon hrs with no human contact at all, day in day out some times for years no wonder their developmet was stunted.

I'm a bit of a middle grounder with the co sleeping i have set up a good bedtime routine where he goes into his own cot he wil normally sleep until around 4:30am then when he wakes up hungry and he is deffinately hungry not just comfort feeding as he will polish off a bottle if he settles back i will leave him in his cot (which he does 9 times out of 10) if he wont then i will let him come in our bed where he will fall back to sleep and we have lovely cuddles until its time to get up.

he is 8 months now and can feed himself without me having to hold him which i think has helped with him settling back obviously i always keep an eye on him until he is finshed :-)

Edinburghlass_2

Having read the Guardian article I think you'll find the headline states...

Leaving baby to cry could damage brain development, parenting guru claims.


Note the word "could", not will. I think you will find that many parents have managed to bring up their children very successfully without the need of a "parenting guru" or indeed the internet and the use of Google.

Bella79

Edinburghlass wrote: »

Having read the Guardian article I think you'll find the headline states...

Leaving baby to cry could damage brain development, parenting guru claims.


Note the word "could", not will. I think you will find that many parents have managed to bring up their children very successfully without the need of a "parenting guru" or indeed the internet and the use of Google.

Whats a parenting guru ???? lol :rotfl:

skintchick

She's actually a child development expert, but I'll find you some more links

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article396168.ece

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,6903,1345420,00.html

http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/crying-it-out-causes-brain-damage.html

HariboJunkie wrote:

There will be every bit as much research to the contrary.

Show me some then And there's no need to make it personal, my comments on the other thread weren;t actually aimed at you, you just took them personally because you used a method I described as being, in my opinion, cruel and barbaric. I didn't actually say that you were, you just read it that way.

HariboJunkie

skintchick wrote: »

She's actually a child development expert, but I'll find you some more links

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article396168.ece

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,6903,1345420,00.html

http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/crying-it-out-causes-brain-damage.html



Show me some then And there's no need to make it personal, my comments on the other thread weren;t actually aimed at you, you just took them personally because you used a method I described as being, in my opinion, cruel and barbaric. I didn't actually say that you were, you just read it that way.

Your comments weren't aimed at me, just that you thought what I did was cruel and barbaric. Well thanks for clearing that up. :cool:

I'm more than happy with the way I brought up my children and would never presume to judge other mothers in the way that some posters on here do. I realise that I must have made mistakes but I was just too busy actually looking after my girls to spend hours on the internet following all the latest trends. Interestingly, the first link you provide quotes an "expert" who says that we should be following our instincts when it comes to child rearing. That flies in the face of so many mothers who read all the latest research and follow that instead.
I maintain that I was following my instincts when I stopped co sleeping when my girls stopped breastfeeding and as a result they are excellent sleepers and don't wander into our bed at night. In the same way, I didn't follow the advice of baby led weaning to let my children eat only what they wanted and they have grown up to be the least fussy children I have ever known with a nutritionally sound diet and no issues with food, and I maintain that I had to use controlled crying for a few nights to enable me to get more than 45 minute stretches of sleep in order that I was able to continue to breast feed and remain mentally healthy in order to care for them.
I am happy to say that as long as a mother is following her instinct and caring for her child then I am not here to sit in judgement of her and make her feel bad at an already emotionally vulnerable time.

Quiet_Life

Happy New Mum,
Hope things go a bit better tonight.
Been there, done that, know what you're going through.
[ am a happy new granny now]

TeamLowe

HariboJunkie wrote: »

Your comments weren't aimed at me, just that you thought what I did was cruel and barbaric. Well thanks for clearing that up. :cool:

I'm more than happy with the way I brought up my children and would never presume to judge other mothers in the way that some posters on here do. I realise that I must have made mistakes but I was just too busy actually looking after my girls to spend hours on the internet following all the latest trends. Interestingly, the first link you provide quotes an "expert" who says that we should be following our instincts when it comes to child rearing. That flies in the face of so many mothers who read all the latest research and follow that instead.
I maintain that I was following my instincts when I stopped co sleeping when my girls stopped breastfeeding and as a result they are excellent sleepers and don't wander into our bed at night. In the same way, I didn't follow the advice of baby led weaning to let my children eat only what they wanted and they have grown up to be the least fussy children I have ever known with a nutritionally sound diet and no issues with food, and I maintain that I had to use controlled crying for a few nights to enable me to get more than 45 minute stretches of sleep in order that I was able to continue to breast feed and remain mentally healthy in order to care for them.
I am happy to say that as long as a mother is following her instinct and caring for her child then I am not here to sit in judgement of her and make her feel bad at an already emotionally vulnerable time.

it amazes me that these studies don't just interview the mothers of grown children about their parenting methods. they'd be happy to share and you could then show exactly what effect those methods had on their child's life.
the articles quoted above treat Crying It Out (TM) as a completely new concept. as far as i'm aware, for years and years exhausted mothers have left a baby crying, and those babies have grown up to be well adjusted, wholesome and valuable members of society. i know for a fact that i was left to cry, and as the youngest of three my demands were not met instantly around the clock (in fact my mother tells the story that in the mornings she was so pushed for time, that as newborn she'd feed me one boob, take my sister to nursery then come home and feed me the other)
i don't consider myself to be emotionally stunted in any way (though i am engaging in an internet argument. oh dear)
well before parenting experts even had the choice of taking that as a career choice, parents were just doing the best they could for their children and only a very small number of them became sociopaths or politicians x

System

Hi HNM,
I remember those zombie days so well. All four of mine were very poor sleepers and not one of them slept reliably through the night until they were 7 YEARS OLD!! I can look back now (the baby is now 8 :-) and goes to bed and gets up in the morning no bother at all) and wonder how we got through. I often wonder if breastfeeding helped or hindered them? First three were fed till one year and the last had a last comfort feed at night until two. I couldn't do any kind of controlled crying as there was a congenital heart disorder to consider and we had actually been told with our first baby "not to let him cry at all"
However, as somone already said, it does pass, although at the time, it seems never-ending torture!
Hugs to you x
Linda
PS Ignore all the unfeeling people who like to boast that THEIR baby slept through the night since it was 30 seconds old!!!!!!!!!

Happynewmum

Good morning to you all.And again-thank you for your comments and support.Just to let you know how things have been going. The last two nights I think ( I say this because I was knackered and my have been halluincating ) my lil man has woken up twice. Hew wakes up around 3 hours after hes been put to be and when he has the last couple of nights and let him have his little moan and cry for abit.Not for long-around the 20 min mark.I know hes not really hungry because as soon as I get him he shuts up, so just wants comfort and me.Ive then got him out of his cot, give him alittle feed in my bed and off he pops back into cot.Cue 2-3 hours later same thing.I've tried offereing water but pushed it away like I was going mad.This is a good start.Still knackered though! As I've said before-want to do a softly softly thing with him.It may take time but I know he'll get there:rotfl:

wensday

Hi just thought I'd add my little bit too...

My LO is 5 months and breastfed, he used to sleep through after doing the Baby Whisperer routine (she made my life MY life again instead of being a zombie). He started waking again about a month or so ago and now he wakes near enough every hour til I feed him at 7. As DH works, I am always the one to get up and snuggle him back in and give him his dummy (an occasional godsend but also a PITA).
SOoo, he stayed at my mums a few weeks ago as we had a wedding and he slept through after one wake at about midnight. Back home, awake all night. Stayed with my MIL last week and he slept through. I got my OH to go in one night when he was off work the next day, he slept through after that first visit by OH.
It's just me!!
I don't feed him overnight (bath and feed at 7.30pm, dream feed at 11pm) and it shows that he isnt actually hungry, he just wants to see me. Nice in one way, but oh my goodness he would get much more attention in the day if I had 2 hours sleep in a row!!