Wish me luck tonight-another night of baby not sleeping thru

yummymummy1987_2

Morning, sorry to hear you had another tough night. ((hugs))
With my first i gave him his feed before bed on his first birthday and he never tried to feed again so it was more me that was a bit like oh ok!
2nd son is a real booby baby and loved the whole comfort and feeding. I was worried he would be really hard to stop and to some extent he was. However i used the "dont offer, dont refuse" technique. I was really surprised at how often i would actually feed him same when he was moaning, but instead if he moaned i would distract him play etc. So day time feeding was really easy that pretty much stopped straight away.
Then the night time/evening feeds were hardest to tackle i used to sit down and feed him whilst watching tv then put him to bed. So we changed it to dp holding him on his lap for 10 mins then we would put him to bed.
The LAST feed we dropped was one that was about 4am, it got to the point where i knew it was for comfort as he would suckle for literally a min or 2 but didnt feel like he was taking milk (sure you know the feeling of when they are really going for it hungry and then comfort feeding) so instead of bringing him into bed which used to be my pattern id sit by the cot or if he cried i would take him into the living room and rock him on my knee for a few mins. It only took a few days before he stopped waking altogether.
I do however always offer water if he wakes up as i do often wake up thirsty in the night so i dont completly agree when people say they need Nnothing thro the night
Try the "dont offer dont refuse" technique i bet like me you will be really surprised how many times you instigate feeds so to speak

Take care of yourself
xxx
p.s just found this link not sure if it will let me post
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning_techniques.html

frannyann

Oh I remember this well! My daughter didn't sleep through until she was 3 1/2!! She was weaned off the breast at 11 months and although she didn't need anything it was as if she just needed to check mummy was about! By 3, she would go back to sleep if I called out quietly to her. No real advice other than it passes eventually and obviously my daughter is just not a 'sleepy' child as even now at nearly 13, she will be wide awake at no later than 6am, no matter what time she goes to sleep!

Bella79

Hi,

Ok i may get linched for this but i was tough with my lo from advice of my grandmother who had 5 children and never lost much sleep.

Once my lo weighed over 14lbs i stoped feeding during the night, first night she woke and cried for a feed i went in gave her a sip of water put her back, this went on for about 3 nights then slept soundly from then.

Then we went through another phase of not sleeping when she was 2 and half if she cried in the night i would go in and say shhhh night night and come out again no matter how much/hard she was crying, leave it 1 min if she was still crying go in again (if she was stood up lay her down) but not speak to her at all jst pat my hand on her back, After that if she still cried i would go in not speak at her no communicaton at all jst lay her down. This went on for a few nights 4 max then shes slept though ever since.

Ofcourse all this went out the window if shes ill/sickly etc etc

I know its tough but it worked for me and i would do it again, my friend whos lo is same age as mine thought this was cruel etc etc and her dd still gets up in night and shes nearly 4 !!!

As long as i know shes fed, watered, warm and snuggly thats all the matters of course if she had been ill thats a diff story or cutting teeth etc

Sphynx

Ha I am more likely to be lynched then, but I had the same thing with DD1, I tried controlled crying but she got more distressed by me going in and out again, so in the end I just left her to cry. Very old fashioned and my Mum didn't approve, but it worked like a dream. It took three nights of her sobbing her heart out and since then she has slept through from 7:30pm until 8:00am. (Well 9am this morning ) It felt cruel at the time, but I was at breaking point, and now I think it was for the best as she needs her sleep too. I would have done the same thing with DD2 but didn't need to. So for any Mum out there who like me was at wits end don't feel guilty about doing something that may seem cruel but will work for both of you. And remember crying never hurt anyone

yummymummy1987_2

OWENS- just out of curiosity where did the 14lb thing come from? was that double you LO's birth weight or something? Just a neighbour mentioned a while ago how she refused to do night feeds since the child was "X" amount of weight so i didnt know if it was a old fashioned thing she'd heard?

Wouldnt have worked for me my son was 11lb 10oz when born so would have reached that 14lbs very soon!!!:eek:

craftdaft

I found this was happening a lot and decided to give water during night but on first night this resulted in lots of crying and wasn't fair on DH who was lambing and calving at time. Instead I opted for formula during night. Also there was no communication, just very boring Mum! This worked well and reduced feeds to 1 a night (DD was 6 months old at time so I was happy with that).

Good luck!

Happynewmum

xmaslolly76 wrote: »

Morning Happy

Was just looking to see how you got on. Did your little one just wake and go back to sleep or is he staying awake for a period of time?

I have the same problem when my bubs is teething thank fully he isnt grumpy he just wont sleep he is 8 months old now. Does he sleep well during the day as it can make night time sleeping worse if they dont get their proper knaps during the day unfortunately an overtired baby = a wide awake baby go figure!

Hope it gets better soon :-)

My little one will wake up ( more or less at the same time throughout the night ) and cry.I get him out of his cot, let him have a feed/suck etc. Very happy after that.Goes back to sleep pretty much straight away and then I put him back in his cot. Then the whole process happens again another 3,4, 5 times during the night/morning. Hes been like this before his teeth were coming through.I just think he loves the comfort aspect and being with me because as soon as I get him out of his cot, the tears stop, the crying stops, so he has a pretty good idea on what hes doing the crafty so and so.He does sleep well during the day ( asleep now in fact-will wake up in abit ). Has two naps, one in the morning, the other late afternoon.Normally between 1-2 hours.Hes really good with that thank god!What I try to do from time to time, like I did today is whne he has his first nap I will go to sleep as well. As soon as he was in his cot this morning, around 10.45, me and his dad were fast alseep on the sofa. I must have been so tired because I didnt even her him crying at 12..15, thought I was dreaming.Then I realised I wasnt:(

Happynewmum

yummymummy1987 wrote: »

Morning, sorry to hear you had another tough night. ((hugs))
With my first i gave him his feed before bed on his first birthday and he never tried to feed again so it was more me that was a bit like oh ok!
2nd son is a real booby baby and loved the whole comfort and feeding. I was worried he would be really hard to stop and to some extent he was. However i used the "dont offer, dont refuse" technique. I was really surprised at how often i would actually feed him same when he was moaning, but instead if he moaned i would distract him play etc. So day time feeding was really easy that pretty much stopped straight away.
Then the night time/evening feeds were hardest to tackle i used to sit down and feed him whilst watching tv then put him to bed. So we changed it to dp holding him on his lap for 10 mins then we would put him to bed.
The LAST feed we dropped was one that was about 4am, it got to the point where i knew it was for comfort as he would suckle for literally a min or 2 but didnt feel like he was taking milk (sure you know the feeling of when they are really going for it hungry and then comfort feeding) so instead of bringing him into bed which used to be my pattern id sit by the cot or if he cried i would take him into the living room and rock him on my knee for a few mins. It only took a few days before he stopped waking altogether.
I do however always offer water if he wakes up as i do often wake up thirsty in the night so i dont completly agree when people say they need Nnothing thro the night
Try the "dont offer dont refuse" technique i bet like me you will be really surprised how many times you instigate feeds so to speak

Take care of yourself
xxx
p.s just found this link not sure if it will let me post
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning_techniques.html

Thank you for that!There are some points there that are really valid.The amount of times my son has a moanand I just stick him on me.Naughty I know but habit, so I hear exactly what your saying!Think I will bare that one in mind defo.

Happynewmum

Jo_R wrote: »

I do agree with skintchick about the comforting aspect of breastfeeding. I've had it with all mine to varying degrees, mostly with the first and then decreasing to baby (well I still call him 'baby' even though he's 14 months:D)

Although I would call myself an "attached" parent, I found as time went on, I simply couldn't manage being on call once DD2 hit the year mark. I was tired, grumpy, and although it was in my very nature to comfort them by feeding when they woke in the night, physically it took its toll, particularly as around that time with DD2 her dad left so I was bringing up two young ones, waking sometimes four times a night to feed DD2, and working near enough full-time.

We did work out that to some degree DD2 improved much more when she ate more solids (I should say this was after the age of 8 months and onwards) so I worked on getting her to eat more in the day and made a rule that whilst I would happily demand feed her during the day, the nights were mine again.

It was pretty hard, I didn't just go cold turkey if you like, but tried phasing it out. I still had her in my room so I'd hold her hand, cuddle her and whatnot, so she knew I was there and tending to her, I might offer her water if I worried she was genuinely thirsty, but gradually stopped the night feeding.

I also eventually took the step of moving her in with DD1 - interestingly I found this almost immediately cut out the night waking for feeds, but made me feel better as obviously she had company.

I hate to say hang on in there but work out a gentle but do-able strategy, with the support of those close, explain what you're doing and why, and go from there. It does pass, honestly:)

I agree with you on the phasing out, not an option for me and will do the gentle gentle aproach.As much as I love him I know the lack of good quality sleep is affecting me, like you, grumpy and I dont want to be grumpy with him as its not his fault.Headaches, mini colds etc, need to nip all of that in the bud.When I think about it, I dont think I've had a full nights sleep for over a 13 months-taking into account the last month of my pregnancy.Oh well-not going to drive myself crazy about it. Thanks to everyone whose offered advice or their stories.Its very encouraging.I will keep you all updated on tonight.:rotfl:

Happynewmum

Yummymummy-thanks for that link!Having a read now.Very interesting:j