Wish me luck tonight-another night of baby not sleeping thru

Bella79

yummymummy1987 wrote: »

OWENS- just out of curiosity where did the 14lb thing come from? was that double you LO's birth weight or something? Just a neighbour mentioned a while ago how she refused to do night feeds since the child was "X" amount of weight so i didnt know if it was a old fashioned thing she'd heard?

Wouldnt have worked for me my son was 11lb 10oz when born so would have reached that 14lbs very soon!!!:eek:

Hi,

Im not sure just went with what my grandmother said !! lol, must be a old fashioned thing.

Sphynx, if the controlled crying didnt work i would have done what you did too, let her get on with it. You do feel cruel and i was on the verge of tears myself and my hubby had to keep me from going in ....... But it worked / works a treat. Like i said my nan had 5 and did this with them all and she said she never lost much sleep. So if its good enough for her then it is for me :@)

I also dont beleive in all the co-sleeping etc

xxvickixx

owens3116 wrote: »

I also dont beleive in all the co-sleeping etc

It's 100% true, I know lots of mums who do.

travelgran

Obviously check she's comfortable and safe but be like craftdaft - no communication, no eye-contact, no mumsy 'chats'. And persist -easier said than done I know!

Bella79

xxvickixx wrote: »

It's 100% true, I know lots of mums who do.

I also know lots of ppl who do it but personally i wouldnt do and and i dont think its healthy for the baby or the couple

But hey diff strokes for diff folks !

esmf73

Money_maker wrote: »

I know it sounds cruel but if he was only offered water, he wouldn't bother waking up.

Good luck.

This is exactly what I did with my two boys - and it worked - plus having nerves of steel and sharing it with my husband when it got really bad!
Best of luck
Em

skintchick

owens3116 wrote: »

I also know lots of ppl who do it but personally i wouldnt do and and i dont think its healthy for the baby or the couple

But hey diff strokes for diff folks !

It's actually much better for babies to cosleep - it's what we are designed to do and what we did do for generations until relatively recently.

Cot sleeping is very unnatural and raises the risk of SIDS compared to safe cosleeping.

But yes, different strokes for different folks, but let's not call what humans have done since the birth of time unhealthy for babies when even a cursory look at the evidence shows us the opposite. I'm afraid I can;t link you to the relevant research as it's on a protected forum and you wouldn;t be able to access it and I don;t have a login for The Lancet, where it is from.

Sphynx wrote:

Ha I am more likely to be lynched then, but I had the same thing with DD1, I tried controlled crying but she got more distressed by me going in and out again, so in the end I just left her to cry. Very old fashioned and my Mum didn't approve, but it worked like a dream. It took three nights of her sobbing her heart out and since then she has slept through from 7:30pm until 8:00am. (Well 9am this morning ) It felt cruel at the time, but I was at breaking point, and now I think it was for the best as she needs her sleep too. I would have done the same thing with DD2 but didn't need to. So for any Mum out there who like me was at wits end don't feel guilty about doing something that may seem cruel but will work for both of you. And remember crying never hurt anyone

I'm afraid cry it out is never 'for the best'. Research has found it damages the developing brain, especially when done your way when the baby is left to 'sob it's heart out' (your words).

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/apr/21/leaving-baby-to-cry-brain-development-damage


OP - good luck for tonight. I was thinking about you today and wondered if whether you could try a min type of cosleeping in the baby's room? Could you take the cot side down and put a bed next to it, then pop in there to calm baby (with or without feeding), stay there till he goes to sleep, and then go back to your own room? Might be a good halfway house for now perhaps?

HariboJunkie

skintchick wrote: »

It's actually much better for babies to cosleep - it's what we are designed to do and what we did do for generations until relatively recently.

Cot sleeping is very unnatural and raises the risk of SIDS compared to safe cosleeping.

But yes, different strokes for different folks, but let's not call what humans have done since the birth of time unhealthy for babies when even a cursory look at the evidence shows us the opposite. I'm afraid I can;t link you to the relevant research as it's on a protected forum and you wouldn;t be able to access it and I don;t have a login for The Lancet, where it is from.

Can't you link to any other sites? There must be lots of them if this is a fact?


I'm afraid cry it out is never 'for the best'. Research has found it damages the developing brain, especially when done your way when the baby is left to 'sob it's heart out' (your words).

Actually your link shows an article about the "claims" of a "parenting guru" There will be every bit as much research to the contrary.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/apr/21/leaving-baby-to-cry-brain-development-damage


OP - good luck for tonight. I was thinking about you today and wondered if whether you could try a min type of cosleeping in the baby's room? Could you take the cot side down and put a bed next to it, then pop in there to calm baby (with or without feeding), stay there till he goes to sleep, and then go back to your own room? Might be a good halfway house for now perhaps?

I don't actually want to get into this debate with you after your last post to me on the subject called me cruel and barbaric for using controlled crying with my twins but a little balance would be nice from you for a change Skintchick.

Happynewmum

Good morning guys.Thanks for all the support and messgaes her.Means alot.Still alittle tired. To be honest, I was so out of it last night I completely forgot what I was doing abd just got him out of his cot when he woke up.Saying that-he did wake up 3 times rather than 4. Just having a coffee ( bad girl I am ) to wake me up and prepare me for the day. Going to keep in mind what Yummymummy said about during the day.Hope everyone is well today!

xxvickixx

I'm thinking of research done in Romanian orphanages re brain development. I'm sure google or Kellymom would point you in the right direction if you wanted to read about it.

JBD

xxvickixx wrote: »

I'm thinking of research done in Romanian orphanages re brain development. I'm sure google or Kellymom would point you in the right direction if you wanted to read about it.

Vicki, I think this was an extreme example. These children were left alone in their cots all day and all night. It is possible to get young babies into a sleep routine without totally ignoring them! I think there is a middle ground ie being firm without being cruel.