My 5yo son may have high-functioning autism & I need help on how to discipline him :D

Mics_chick

I'm still suffering from PND after DS's birth and my OH suffers from anxiety/depression too so sometimes we lose patience with him and end up shouting at him or even smacking him on occasion

I know it's quite normal to lose your temper with your kids sometimes even if you don't suffer from depression but I feel that we do it more than we would if we both didn't have short fuses when we're having a particularly bad day.

DS was referred to the community paediatrician by the school as his social skills & writing skills are way behind what would be expected for his age but he is classed as "talented and gifted" with his reading. His ability to concentrate and ability to follow instructions are an issue too.

We had 1 meeting with the paediatrician while DS was there a few weeks ago and then a follow-up today without him to discuss it further. She thinks he may have high-functioning autism (aka Asperger's) but wants him to see a consultant at our local hospital.

So his diagnosis is not certain but we do have problems disciplining him effectively and would like the help of anyone in a similar situation (if you want to pm instead of post that's fine ). Just any help anyone is able to give would be most gratefully received.

Cheers Gail

julie03

i cant help much, but my son has dyspraxia and suspected ASD and we have problems with disipline, it seems whatever punishment we give he doesnt seem to learn from it, i feel like a demented parrot, i seem to repeat the same things day after day but it seems to get louder.
i am considering going on practical parenting course to see if i can get ideas as someone has told me this can help.
i know exactly how you feel, and i shall watch this thread for ideas
good luck

cleopatra4485

My youngest brother (13) is autistic, my mother has a terrible time with discipline still. (breaking any tv she has in the house, aggression, eating) how is he naughty?

Mics_chick

julie03 wrote: »

i cant help much, but my son has dyspraxia and suspected ASD and we have problems with disipline, it seems whatever punishment we give he doesnt seem to learn from it, i feel like a demented parrot, i seem to repeat the same things day after day but it seems to get louder.
i am considering going on practical parenting course to see if i can get ideas as someone has told me this can help.
i know exactly how you feel, and i shall watch this thread for ideas
good luck

The demented parrot sounds exactly like me :rolleyes:

I've been directed to an autism help thread so I've copied and pasted my post on there in the hope of getting help quicker... possibly???

PasturesNew

I have Aspergers... disciplining for what 'offences'? The answer will depend on the offence, etc.

I could give you a different answer for each type of offence, to try. All I have to do is think about what would be going through my head if I did that naughty thing ... then turn it on its head for the response that might be best received.

PasturesNew

I would add that personally I'd have been smacked and sent to bed... but then there was no diagnosis back then

Mics_chick

cleopatra4485 wrote: »

My youngest brother (13) is autistic, my mother has a terrible time with discipline still. (breaking any tv she has in the house, aggression, eating) how is he naughty?

My son doesn't sound as destructive as your bro but he's not a teenager yet - although he did break 2 printers, both the CD & DVD drives on my previous computer and nearly wrecked the VCR and washer by posting things in themall countless times :eek: :rotfl:

He is a very bright little boy but he doesn't seem to be able to learn how not to overstep the mark like his 6yo sister does....

cleopatra4485

Mics_chick wrote: »

My son doesn't sound as destructive as your bro but he's not a teenager yet - although he did break 2 printers, both the CD & DVD drives on my previous computer and nearly wrecked the VCR and washer by posting things in themall countless times :eek: :rotfl:

He is a very bright little boy but he doesn't seem to be able to learn how not to overstep the mark like his 6yo sister does....

Ok he gets distracted because he is frustrated (he is a non-speaker) apparently it is to do with his sensory problems. For example he breaks TV's if he hears any other noises in the house. Smacking shouting doesn't really do any good tbh, its an ongoing battle. Pastures New is best to ask as she has Aspergers.

Mics_chick

PasturesNew wrote: »

I have Aspergers... disciplining for what 'offences'? The answer will depend on the offence, etc.

I could give you a different answer for each type of offence, to try. All I have to do is think about what would be going through my head if I did that naughty thing ... then turn it on its head for the response that might be best received.

Off the top of my head:

Not running off when I'm walking him home from school.
He doesn't like to hold my hand so I don't like to force him if I could get away with it.
I'd like to be able to have him walk near me as his 6yo sister does but is that an impossible ask?

Doing something (anything sometimes) the first time I ask without having to count to 3 to get him moving???

Not back-chatting/answering back when I do try to discipline him.

Nothing I can think of is really a major problem but I'd just like to find the most productive way of discipling him with exasperating him, me and my OH !!!

PasturesNew

cleopatra4485 wrote: »

Pastures New is best to ask as she has Aspergers.

Well, I can try to put myself in his shoes ... I was labelled a bit of a naughty kid. Mostly though, it's because nobody's listening to what I am saying ... except it's not that they're not listening, but they're not understanding what I mean/need and so you get "dismissed" a lot .... and then you get frustrated ... and then ... you get naughty

Mics_chick

When were you diagnosed PN?