Bullying

gunsandbanjos

My little girl - age 6 - is being picked on by a boy in her class. I can see from her body language that she is scared of him, everytime he sees her he shouts things at her.
Nothing much, just childish stuff, but it is constant. Before christmas he tried to push her down a large flight of stone steps twice, he has punched her on more than one occassion. She wears a spinal brace and he punches it so while it doesnt really hurt her i would prefer him not to:mad:

I know i'm not the only parent who has an issue with him, other parents have asked that there children be moved from sitting beside him. At one point he was at a desk on his own, but now he sits beside my daughter.

I spoke to the class teacher and she was very understanding as she knows there are problems with him. I wanted to speak to the head on the teachers recommendation but he was really busy. The school is having an inspection next week so the head will be too busy to speak to me next week apparently which i'm not very happy about.
I really want this sorted and not sure what else i can do.
Any suggestions on how to handle this greatly appreciated:A

mountainofdebt

Actually next week might be the ideal week, from your daughter's point of view, for the subject to be brought up........

meritaten

hun, I wouldnt have said 'nothing much just childish stuff' in relation to this. this is in my opinion really bad bullying!!! and the child is well known as a bully and you have spoken about this to the class teacher and they wont move this boy from this vulnerable little girl?
mountainofdebt is right - now is exactly the right time! or would you prefer to wait until your little girl is actually pushed down the steps?
you need to take action and you need to take it NOW!
your childs safety and wellbeing is being ignored by the school and I wouldnt care how busy the head is - his first priority has to be the children in his care!!!
I would be at the school in the morning - minus child and informing the head that until something is done about my childs safety I will not be bringing her back and that i would be informing everyone from the school governors to the LEA of this and the reasons why by letter. THEN I would probably calm down and listen. and unless i was satisfied that my child was no longer at risk of harm i would follow through on my threat.

daska

I'd go with Meritaten

The Head is not going to want to have pupils being kept out of school during an inspection. He won't want to have you sat in reception waiting for him to have a free moment either - you might talk to people! If you were perhaps carrying a bundle of papers with 'bullying' written on it that might make him even more anxious to deal with the problem effectively and quickly.

gunsandbanjos

meritaten wrote: »

hun, I wouldnt have said 'nothing much just childish stuff' in relation to this. this is in my opinion really bad bullying!!! and the child is well known as a bully and you have spoken about this to the class teacher and they wont move this boy from this vulnerable little girl?
mountainofdebt is right - now is exactly the right time! or would you prefer to wait until your little girl is actually pushed down the steps?
you need to take action and you need to take it NOW!
your childs safety and wellbeing is being ignored by the school and I wouldnt care how busy the head is - his first priority has to be the children in his care!!!
I would be at the school in the morning - minus child and informing the head that until something is done about my childs safety I will not be bringing her back and that i would be informing everyone from the school governors to the LEA of this and the reasons why by letter. THEN I would probably calm down and listen. and unless i was satisfied that my child was no longer at risk of harm i would follow through on my threat.

I meant the childish stuff was what he was saying to her, just name calling etc. I don't think the punching or pushing is childish. I'm terrified in case he actually pushes her down the steps, she wears a spinal brace as i mentioned as she has a seriously deformed spine and has metal rods holding her back in place.
I think she is an easy target for him as she is very small for her age, he is a good head bigger than her. I gave the secretary my mobile number so they can phone me to arrange a meeting. Not in school tomorrow as the school is being used as a polling station, or on friday as LO has a hospital appt, will try and go in though after the appt.

moggitymog

I would suggest to them that either the head makes time to discuss it with you or you will contact the inspectors and they can discuss it with the head during the inspection

meritaten

gunsandbanjos - I cannot believe that knowing your daughters problems the teacher actually sat this boy next to her? did she know that the boy tried to push her down the steps last year? what action did you take then?
I definately wouldnt send my child to school if i was afraid of her physical safety - never mind that she must be suffering the torments of hell sat next to this boy!
do you feel intimidated by the school??? have you got someone who could go with you for moral support?? a gobby person preferably and one who can smell bu11sh1t a mile off?

gunsandbanjos

meritaten wrote: »

gunsandbanjos - I cannot believe that knowing your daughters problems the teacher actually sat this boy next to her? did she know that the boy tried to push her down the steps last year? what action did you take then?
I definately wouldnt send my child to school if i was afraid of her physical safety - never mind that she must be suffering the torments of hell sat next to this boy!
do you feel intimidated by the school??? have you got someone who could go with you for moral support?? a gobby person preferably and one who can smell bu11sh1t a mile off?

Yes they knew he tried to push her down the stairs, my hubby went to speak to her teacher. They decided to try and get this boy to try and 'help' my daughter, to try and get them to get along i think? He was meant to be looking out for her, clearly not working.

I don't feel intimidated by the school, i'm a fairly strong person and have no problem on that front, my BS detector is pretty good!

gravitytolls

6 yrs old! Good grief.

Go to reception and say loudly
'Hello, my child is being bullied, I'd llike to see the head immediately please.'

If the head is not available, tell them you 'll wait, and sit down. Insist you are heard.

If the Head fobs you off, makes excuses about resources, curbacks, budgeting deficits, hands tied etc., tell him you're not prepared to accept that, and you will be contacting the governors, LEA and Ofsted.

Presumably the inspection is Ofsted? Last year we received questionnaires from Ofsted, which were returned to school in sealed envelopes. Have you had these? There's nothing stopping you from approaching an Ofsted Inspector yourself.

Anyhoo, you must act, you must be heard, but you must follow procedure ~ class teacher - head teacher - governors - LEA - Ofsted/MP. You've started with the class teacher, now don't sit back and wait for a quiet moment, this is important, every member of staff should take bullying seriously (and this is serious bullying), however busy they may be.

gunsandbanjos

I know Gravity, it is scary that they're only 6. He is a little toerag, he wee'd on a little boy deliberately, he punches kids, he deliberately ran his bike into me and explained 'the birds and the bees' in graphic detail to a friends little girl:eek: I think i only know the half of it, teacher says he does some things that are 'dangerous' but didnt elaborate. She was quite keen for me to speak to the head.

mumps

I really feel for you and your daughter. I had problems with school when my daughter was at primary, she is at university now. After lots of problems, not helped by form teacher at all in fact she was more like one of the bullies, I went to see Head yet again one morning. He said he couldn't see me he was too busy, he went into the playground. As parents and children arrived I discussed the problem with him, I got more and more upset, he got more and more embarrassed. Parents were hanging around, you know how people do sort of pretending to get something out of childs bag or checking shoe laces were tied. If I hadnt been so upset it would have been seriously hillarious. He did make an effort after that meeting.

If I have one regret in life it is that I didn't get this issue sorted out for her, I really tried but I still feel I failed her. She said to me last week that although she is happy, doing well, has six A levels at grade A she still feels the effects of the bullying she suffered. She doesn't dwell on it, but she feels it has left a mark. I could cry, in fact I have tears in my eyes as I type this. If there is anything that can be done I hope you can make the school do it. I know how scared you must feel for her safety, my daughter was pulled into a swimming pool and held under, when we challenged her teacher about this, she witnessed it, she said she thought my daughter was just moaning about nothing. A school governor witnessed that one and intervened. Sometimes I hate schools and whilst there are alot of good teachers there are also some who are useless. Good luck, I hope you get this resolved.