Am i being bullied??

ceridwen

NickiMcJock wrote: »

ceridwen - Thanks for your post - tbh my husband is very supportive he works nightshift though.

I am only stressed as I am concencious and care about what I do etc. I care more about my Baby, but I just worry about where the money is going to come from when they get rid of me . Need to keep a roof over my unborn childs head. i know I sound like a loon - but I have been going round in circles for over 2 years and its clearly got me nowhere. I think someone posted that my branch is going down the tubes and they want to pin the blame on me. The branch has never performed and to be honest and it will get worse as there are redundancies due in the next 4 weeks, so the branch will loose 3 fulltime staff.

Yep - okay - thats a given - ie that you are conscientious. BUT...quite honestly...it sounds to me like whoever got the post you are in currently would have been handed a "poison chalice" - so dont take it personally/dont take any of it personally. It sounds to me like an invidious position for anyone to find themselves in - not just you.

"Going round in circles" is exactly the phrase that was coming to mind reading your earlier posts on this thread - ie "Her mind is quite clearly going round in ever-decreasing circles". There are times and places where it honestly ISNT anything personal if a situation doesnt work out - and it sounds to me like they've put you in one of them.

For right now - okay then...right tomorrow (as for tonight I would prefer you to take those deep breaths and try to relax a bit) then I think probably the most constructive thing you can do is to work on the "worst case scenario" - ie "If the worst did come to the worst - then what is plan B?" and work out what your Plan B would be if need be (eg work out what your income situation would be in a "worst case analysis" situation/what your budget would be/etc" - just in case). Having worked out what practical steps you would take if it came to a "worst case scenario" - then you've worked out your Plan of Action - and, if things come out better than that, well...all well and good.

So - I still suggest:
1. For tonight - yoga breaths, soft lighting, relaxing music - whatever it takes that would help a bit with relaxing.

2. For tomorrow - make sure Plan B is as worked out as possible.

3. Stay signed off work with stress for as long as you need.

4. Try and do the proverbial "count blessings" - eg supportive partner, etc.

5. Keep a good record of all dealings with this employer of yours.

...and good luck..

...and I nearly forgot....pay a visit (tomorrow!) to the Old Style Board on this website and check out suggestions on household budgeting. You are bound to find lots of helpful hints on making the "household" budget go a lot further than you thought it could.

NickiMcJock

I agree, its not easy though!!

ajaney

You can start your maternity leave 11 weeks prior to your due date so if i have understood correctly, you are 7 months pregnant then you should be entitled to start it now.
Do you have a HR person dealing with your maternity dates etc? Contact them, say you are unwell & would like to start your leave earlier from the date your sick note runs out if you dont want to be signed off until your leave is supposed to start.
source: http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Moneyandworkentitlements/WorkAndFamilies/Pregnancyandmaternityrights/DG_10039631

NickiMcJock

ajaney - I think you are right.

I am going to GP again today as I feel terrible. My head is so messed up.

ceridwen

I would be inclined to follow ajaney's suggestion in your position.

Maternity leave is less "personal" than getting signed off with stress anyway IYSWIM.

Either way - I wouldnt be going back to work any time soon if I were you.

NickiMcJock

My Maternity Leave starts mid June. So Will take advice from Union.

terra_ferma

DON79 wrote: »

Nicki, I work for a bank and they have a policy about phoning in sick every day etc etc but when I got a sick note I just sent it in and did not contact them again except to advise when I expected to be back or to give them details of another sick note. it is not necessary for you to call every day if you have a sick note - that is just rubbish and them trying to put pressure on you to return.

seconded, as long as you have a sick note you will be fine

rach29

Nicki, first let me give you a ((hug))

Having read your story I can tell which bank you work for. I worked for them some years ago & suffered a similar situation to yourself. It's soul destroying and when you look back on this in years to come I'm sure you will realise that your unstressed self would not have allowed the situation to continue as long as your stressed self has. That isn't a critiscism, I just know what it's like to be put in your situation & how it feels a number of years later to look back on it.

My advice (for what it's worth) Take your doctor's lead today, if he wants to sign you off for 7 weeks, let him. As others have said if it's not pregnancy related sickness you do not need to start your maternity leave sooner than planned. Don't let them take away your precious time with your baby.

Talk to the Union and ask them to put one of the full time rep's on your case. ie someone working full time for the union, not a branch rep. I'm sure they will tell you that you have a great case. From what I've read you have not had any proper support & guidance, neither have your 1-2-1's been completed on a regular basis. Basically the Bank has failed in it's duty to you as an employee.Let your rep advise you as to when to take your grievance forward & then SIT BACK AND FORGET ABOUT IT!

You need to put yourself and your baby first now. The Bank will still be there after you have your baby in your arms & the world will look a lot different then ) In the future you will need to think about what you want to do as far as work is concerned. Let your rep guide you & consider what is the least you will accept. Think about what would be the best outcome for you. Did you intend to return full time? What about a transfer nearer home?

Above all. please put yourself first for now.

rach29

BTW, when you put your sick note in I would add a handwritten note, that you only wish to be contacted by HR during this time. ie you don't want call from your area manager etc. You are perfectly at liberty to ask for this & any different action by the Bank could easily be construed as bullying/harrassment

terra_ferma

Nicki
the fact that you are pregnant makes you almost unsackable (that is to most employers....). Your rights are very strong now.

You are not a powerless victim, but you have rights under employment law, they can't just get rid of you. You have been there over a year, and most importantly you are pregnant.

Also the bank may care about their public profile, and may want to avoid ET at all costs. If they think they could end up in the papers as they bad guys, fat cats treating employees badly, they may be prepared to negotiate with you. But it's not certain (I don't know banks really well, but I know that if I read xxx bank taken to ET for sex discrimination case, I would think twice before giving them my money....).

Personally I would forget about work altogether until after you m/l.
Getting involved in grievances etc is very stressful, and I'm not sure you can handle it right now, from what you are saying.
I would get signed off (and with good reason, this stress is really making you ill and could effect your baby!).
When you go back circumstances may be very different, or you may find another job.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!