Do I do too much??

flippin36

deleted...sorry

Oldernotwiser

OrkneyStar wrote: »

Em, I was asking the OP .

Sorry, it just seemed quicker to quote him.

Oldernotwiser

Errata wrote: »

That's a fair point, and it applies equally to the father.

In many ways I agree with you but the OP was complaining about having to do the housework and seems to think that this is more important than spending time with the baby.

Sunshine12

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

In many ways I agree with you but the OP was complaining about having to do the housework and seems to think that this is more important than spending time with the baby.

The way I read it was that he would quite like to do the "baby" stuff whilst she perhaps helps with the more mundane tasks....I dont think he object to the housework being done or the baby being looked after, he just thinks it should be more equally split.

lincsdan86

sorry for not replying last night, shopping and other things took over.

Anyway to clear somethings up.

We both work during the week
I work at weekends behind a bar
I do the majority of the cleaning
She "looks after" (this does not normally involve much playing)DS whilst I do it
I make his breakfast/dinner

Whilst I do not thinking cleaning is more important than my DS, it has to be done and just wanted to see if my parner (not wife) was taking the mike a little. why is it okay for her to spend the time with our DS instead of me, etc, etc

Any more questions?

Errata

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

In many ways I agree with you but the OP was complaining about having to do the housework and seems to think that this is more important than spending time with the baby.

With a young baby the house has to be kept clean, and it seems the mother doesn't see the importance of that or of the father spending time with his baby. Clearly there is something very wrong with the current set up.

Oldernotwiser

We'll just have to agree to differ ont his. It seems that we get so used to women having to do it all that it seems unusual when a man is doing it instead and everybody shouts that the woman is lazy!

Houses don't have to be cleaned every day and 2 working people might well be eating some ready meals to enable them to have more time for the things that matter, although the OP doesn't seem prepared to compromise in this way.

I feel that he hasn't adjusted very well to parenthood and is resentful of his wife's involvement with the baby; his last comment certainly seems to suggest this!

brians_daughter

i feel you are doing too much- as part of a couple you should be sharing what you can, and this means her doing her fair share then you can spend some time time with your child as well. If you are working all week, and weekend, and doing everything else whist your oh is going to work and coming home and 'seeing to' baby. If you were just working your normal job then fine, but if you are also working weekends as well i personally wouldnt let my oh work 2 jobs and do all teh housework - my priority would be ensuring he saw our kids as much as possible when not at work!

From what you have said she doesnt seem 'bothered'. Has she always been like this? is she feeling ok in her self? whats your relationship with her like? Do you 2 spend time together? Are you slightly resentful of her time with baby whilst you are working 2 jobs?

I know its hard as i have children, my youngest is 16 months and i work 30 hrs a week, I am a full time uni student, a mother, and I manage to keep the home ship shape. We share the washing up and housework and do it after 8.30pm when the kids have gone to bed, That way we still get quality time with the kids and a clean house, we are a partnership and that means sharing chores where we can!

If you are unhappy in your current responsibilities you need to sit down and get your point across to her

OrkneyStar

I think, tbh, that the OP's OH needs to take on some of the household duties, and let, for example OH bathe the baby or play with him for a little while. If both work then everything should be shared imho!

Sunshine12

OP, I think your poll results pretty much answer your question! Definately think your OH hates housework and would rather you did it all and just using baby as an excuse instead of admitting that she doesnt like doing it. Time for a chat!!