Do I do too much??

**confuzzled**

Fwiw the only thing I think would be classed as 'doing too much' would be the part time job, everything else is pretty normal, you have described my day, except we don't have a child yet:) and when our baby does come along while I'm at home I'll be happy to do 99% of the housework and when I return to work, DH and I will have a household rota to work to for all the chores that need doing, I am only human afterall;):)
Maybe your wife is like my DH and just doesn't 'see' what needs doing? She might think her time is better spent with your son than doing housework, does she do any housework when your little one goes to bed???
My hubby is also a fan of 'I'll do it later' my opinion is why do it later when you can do it now? but thats where we differ and if he says he'll do it later then I'll leave it until it gets done, if his later is 3 days later, then I'll work around it eg. if its clothes in the washer then I'll dry my own and leave his there, his problem if he has no clothes for work not mine;) amazing how quickly he's learnt to remember things:D:D

Oldernotwiser

It seems a fairly reasonable split to me. You both work full time and in the evening you do housework and she looks after the child. The fact that you earn more than your wife is irrelevant.

lincsdan86

When DS goes to bed it is normal bum on sofa watching the TV time. I wouldnt say that she is spending time with son on his development, I mean I sort his nighttime food/milk, it is more she is keeping an eye on him more than anything.

I would love to spend more time with him but unless i do the housework it wont get done so I do that and get moaned at :-(

lincsdan86

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

It seems a fairly reasonable split to me. You both work full time and in the evening you do housework and she looks after the child. The fact that you earn more than your wife is irrelevant.

the bit about earning more was because i was going to right something else but decided not to but didnt remove that bit aswel. should it always be that she gets to spend time relaxing with DS whilst I do the housework?

Bitsy_Beans

If you are both working then I think it's only fair that the household chores are shared. I work from home and do a little bit of cleaning a day and that way it's more managable.
TBH I think your OH is taking the mick. I mean I have 2 kids and I still manage to get something done - one presumes that your LO has a nap at some point during the day. Perfect opportunity to get some jobs done. I do my daily housework done as fast as I can so I have the opportunity to have a sit down otherwise I'd be on my feet all day.

Might I suggest that you stop cleaning her clothes etc and see how long it takes her to notice Perhaps cook food for yourself and you LO and leave your OH to get on with it - see how she likes it when you're not rushing round after her. From what I can see she's taking you for granted.

**confuzzled**

OP your son is 1 and a half...I should expect someone to be keeping an eye on him constantly, they can be right [STRIKE]nosy [/STRIKE] inquisitive beggars at that age :)
have you thought about trying to get him to help you with the housework?? like lobbing the dirty clothes in the washing machine from the other end of the kitchen???;) My nephew found it funny at that age and still helps his Mum with it(he's 6):D

From the sounds of it you need to decide which bits of the housework are more important, if you need to have a clean empty sink at the end of an evening then whoever doesn't cook should clean while the one who's cooked plays with little one.
Since living with my DH I have learnt to be more relaxed, does it really matter if the hoovering doesn't get done every couple of days? yeah so theres a pile of ironing...do it as and when you need it! so long as your house is reasonably clean and tidy and your son is in no danger of dragging dirty dishes on his head then why worry so much about the cleaning?? Lifes too short! I used to be like you until it dawned on me I was doing everything, so I stopped:) and tbh its much nicer and more relaxed on the dirty side:rotfl: I now only do housework when it HAS to be done, so what if I don't wash the dishes straight after dinner? they're not going anywhere and Eastenders is on(:o), they can be done while I'm cooking dinner the next night:) and as for drying the dishes...forget it!!! Much more hygienic to leave them drying on the sideboard til after my tv programmes have finished and I've had my snuggles with DH:D so long as they're put away before the cat decides they look comfy enough to sleep on I'm happy:D

Any

lincsdan86 wrote: »

Just a quick post as I am feeling a little low today and I just want to get some "outside" opinions.

Anyway do you think the things that I do are too much, I am not doing enough or it is about right. I am not saying my partner doesnt do anything

Anyway

I work full time during the week (relatively good pay, about 1.5 times more then the misses)
At weekends I do bar work to bring in some extra cash
If I do not cook, we do not eat what I would call proper food, so i feel I need to cook everyday.
Cleaning, if there is something that needs doing I will do it, if not it is left. I mean I brough a new vacuum cleaner 2 months ago and i am not sure she has used it yet :-s
Washing up for example 9 times out of 10 it is me that ends up doing it, otherwise it would be left for days and that is just not right.
The washing normally, i make sure it is on and dried, admittedly i will not put it away, so it is left for days in the front room.

Whilst I do this the misses looks after ds who is 1 1/2 and says that she doesnt have the time to do the housework, but when i have him alone i still manage to get some of the work done. or when we are both home i am always cleaning!!!

Is it just me? Am I being stupid here? please tell me.

Thanks

Right, now honestly - what is your OH doing for the family?

Who feeds the child, prepares him to go to nursery/parents and takes him.
Who does the shopping.
Who baths the child.
Who takes the bins out.


How does your OH looks like and feel? Does she feel tired, does she have no energy?
Or is she just enjoying the life to the full?

Errata

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

It seems a fairly reasonable split to me. You both work full time and in the evening you do housework and she looks after the child. The fact that you earn more than your wife is irrelevant.

If the child is 18 months old it will be in bed from 7pm onwards. How much looking after will it need when it's fast asleep ?

Cat1

The child won't remember how clean the carpet was or how tidy the kitchen was, but he will remember who got down on the floor and played with him. I would just stop doing it all and relax with your son, you don't get this time back.

I work and I have 3 children. I refuse to do housework after 7.30pm :rotfl:

OrkneyStar

My son is nearly 3 now but when he was your's age the split (%) was:
Work F/T (DH 100%), looking after DS (me 85%/DH 15%), housework (me 90%/DH 10%), cooking (me 97%/DH 3%), washing up (me all day-time things, DH- after evening meal), hoovering (me 50%/DH 50%- I have lower back pain and not really supposed to hoover!), garden (DH 100%), finances (me 100%), shopping (me 100%), anything else as needed was shared!
TBH sounds like your OH is using the child as an excuse to do nothing else- I understand she will have her hands full but perhaps she needs to learn some time management- you deserve some quality of life too!