Leaving your affairs in order..

snoop2008

Last december when my brother passed away, I got thinking!!! Planning my funeral arrangments seemed a sensible thing to do. I have one beautiful daughter and we discussed my wishes and although hard, she thought it was a good idea. Last week I went to my local building society to have my life insurance reviewed to see if I could get a better deal. The nice man said my cover was great and to leave it as it was.

I made another appointment with my daughter to have her name added onto my savings account. She now has her own card to withdraw my money when that times comes. My mum had great differculty when my brother died and had lots of paper work to fill in the post office to get his money. But worked out well in the end.

I have seen the ageuk site and it is a great help!!!!

I have made arrangements to see a funeral director about a pre funeral plan with my daughter also.

And I have downloaded a funeral template from microsoft office and filled it in for my daughter to use and keep it with my other legal and personal info. it has sections about self, bank details, funeral directors, family, etc... You can download this from their website. I really believe that by doing all these things, my daughter will have a good knowledge what to do and what to expect.

Its a great thread!!!

pollypenny

What a good idea, snoop.

When my dad went into a residential home I became a signatory on his current account, as I paid the fees from it. When we knew he was dying, I withdrew some money for the funeral, as we'd have plenty to think about without worrying about money.

snoop2008

Thanks Pollypenny, I have heard time and time again the things that go wrong with funerals especially money issues and whilst coping with a bereavement there is so much to do and sort out. Having a joint savings account justs makes it easier for my daughter to access the funds she needs to do what she needs to do without questions being asked.

Although she lives with me, there will come a time when she leaves home but all the details she needs will be provided for even things like, believe or not bills account numbers, council numbers, benefit details like rent accounts etc for her information. It really just makes life a little bit easier for her to access the information quickly instead worrying about who to contact etc....

When my brother passed away, at first the council did not know of his address and I did not know his rent and council tax number. I made so many phone calls and the council at the time said due to confidentialality they could not tell me the name of his housing association even though I had his address!!!

In the end I made another call to the council , explained my problems and the lady said there was a strong possibility that he was housed by bournemouth church housing association. so I tried that, and BINGO!!

I do not want my daughter to have to go through this kind of worries, and I can honestly say, I feel a sense of freedom in planning ahead for hersake. It is never to early to plan ahead I believe.

rexel

the booklet is called LIFEBOOK go to age concern website type in Lifebook up it comes you can get it by email or post phone 08456851060 and quote all721

Errata

Here's the linky http://www.ageuk.org.uk/home-and-care/home-safety-and-security/lifebook/?paging=false

mary-op

Errata - thanks for the link. I've not heard of the Life book before........what an excellent idea.
We've done our wills and sorted out funeral arrangements and executors but they would have to know where things were kept and such like, insurances and so on.

Lost2

Thankfully I don't have any debt and OH pays all the bills.
So my money is my own the only money I need to put aside is for my car MOT Tax etc. What I have done is put all money matters on Microsoft Money so I can see where money is and paid out plus savings So when we both pop are clogs DD can see where my money is

lilac_lady

I had a chat with my DD and let her know that I had decided to take out a funeral plan so that there would be less to do when I die. I also said that I'd leave a note about non-financial matters (no wreaths, cheap coffin with a spray of my favourite flowers, humanist service, chosen music).

She said that she didn't want to think about all this but now that I've had "THE conversation with her she felt that she would be happier knowing that my wishes were carried out.

If you've not had THE conversation with someone, try and do it as it makes life easier for those you leave behind.

snoop2008

lilac_lady wrote: »

I had a chat with my DD and let her know that I had decided to take out a funeral plan so that there would be less to do when I die. I also said that I'd leave a note about non-financial matters (no wreaths, cheap coffin with a spray of my favourite flowers, humanist service, chosen music).

She said that she didn't want to think about all this but now that I've had "THE conversation with her she felt that she would be happier knowing that my wishes were carried out.

If you've not had THE conversation with someone, try and do it as it makes life easier for those you leave behind.

My daughter felt the same a little uneasy, but I made sense and she knows what to do and what to expect!!! It can be very hard for our children to think of death but I know many families who would find this topic very hard to discuss but I feel it is a sensible approach and when it's spoken about in my case , my daughter felt a sense of relief as she could understand how differcult these times can be emotionally as well as having to sort out a funeral.

Savvy_Sue

We buried Dad's ashes the other day, when we booked it Mum commented on how much more expensive it was to bury rather than scatter, but I said absolutely we were going to bury them, so that we knew where he was when her time came! I also pointed out that they'd made it clear what to do with 'known as' names on the stone we've had engraved, as her initials are EM but she's always known by her M name.

When I saw the in-laws a few days later, that helpfully led onto how MIL's parents bought a triple grave, so she's going in there, and FIL says he'll be cremated and we can put his ashes in there too. No idea where that grave is, so that's something to check next time I get the chance. It seems like a long time since her mother died, so I'm wondering if it will be due for renewal at some point!

But at least I KNOW, it's not something that's ever come up in conversation before!