Leaving your affairs in order..

margaretclare

Someone we know - a distant family member by marriage - died very recently, and her affairs are in a total mess. Bank statements unopened going back years. Debts, but total amount not known because statements not opened, paperwork having to be ploughed through by her son-in-law, and he's still doing it.

I've always been convinced of the need to keep one's affairs in order, especially when I was alone - this was a woman who was divorced, but hadn't re-done her will following her divorce. I would hate to think I would leave such a mess behind for someone else to deal with. I'm glad that all our bills get paid on the first of every month regular as clockwork, and I have a list of addresses, with my chosen funeral director and the address of the wildflower meadow cemetery which is out chosen final resting-place.

So please everyone, leave your affairs in order, because you just do not know when and how.

newleaf

Sounds like she was perhaps in denial about her debts if bank statements hadn't been opened for yonks.
I agree, very selfish behaviour to leave it all for your relatives to sort out

chesky369

Yup - both my 'babies' know about my 'little black book' that has details of all my bank accounts, ISAs, premium bond numbers, etc. and clues about my pin numbers - which they will understand, but no casual reader would.

cherry76

Mum created a folder with all the bank details & instructions etc. She keeps pestering us to have a look and to ask questions but we are not interested. I guess we do not want to think she will not be here forever. She is really worried about dad whether he will know where to withdraw money for the funeral in case she goes suddenly. He keeps putting it off and does not want to discuss it any further. He has got no idea of online banking as she does everything online and is not interested to learn. I am glad she has put her affairs in order for us.

Biggles

My kids know of my 'Dead Dad' file, with full records of property, assets, account numbers etc.

Certainly not PINs though, as the executor wouldn't need them to realise my assets (in fact it would be illegal if they tried).

chesky369

I know they wouldn't need them to realise the assets, but it would be useful for them to be able to log-in to the accounts to find out how much is in them.

pollypenny

My two will have such a problem in clearing all their dad's 'junk'!

Paperwork is in order, but he will not throw anything out, so sometimes it's difficult to decide what is relevant.

And as for his rugby programmes, war videos, DVDs etc ........ HELP!!!!!!

lilac_lady

I've made a will and revised it when my circumstances changed. I've got a notebook with all details in it and have put account and telephone numbers in it to make it easier for my family.

I've also stated " no insurance policies in force" and "no debt to be repaid".

A relative died without making a will and matters were very complicated so I'd recommend making one (at the very least) as a help to whoever has to deal with things after you've gone.

nearlyrich

A friend of mine lost her husband really suddenly a few months ago, they had been married for many years and have children, he left no will and their home was in his sole name as was the mortgage and all the bills. I know she has had traumas dealing with all this at a time when life is traumatic enough.

Please don't make life harder for your loved one's... make a will and leave instructions for your funeral if you can't discuss it all with them..

balmaiden

Agree totally. When my beloved Dad died I knew his affairs would be in order, but even I was amazed at how very little sorting out I had to do. He had thought of everything. I, to the best of my knowledge have done the same with our affairs. I would also add please let your next of kin know exactly what you require to be done after your death. How much easier when you are in a state of grief, to know that you are following your loved ones wishes and not having to guess.

Errata

Age Concern has a very good aide memoire on leaving one's affairs in good order

http://www.ageconcern.org.uk/AgeConcern/Documents/IS18Instructions_for_my_next_of_kin_form.pdf