60th Birthday, present & party ideas (merged)

tw1nklestar

not sure if they have a website but will get the phone number for you tomorrow when my mum gets home from her holidays - but any good local garden centre/nurseries will have someone who will be able to help you

Cat72

Hi
My OH mother turns 60 in three weeks. She doesnt want to be sixty, it is different for women and says she doesnt want a meal or party.She has told her husband she wants to go to away for the day. I find it suprising that she doesnt want a family meal or get together because her main life is her family.However when I quizzed her why she didnt want to be with her sons & granchildren she said its because of her daughter in laws who hate each other, and she can feel the bad atmosphere which ruins it for her. I also think its because she has been a bit down at the idea of getting old for the past year. We have tried family get togethers in the past but no matter how much we brief everyone there is alway !!!!!ing afterwards.
Hence I feel its a shame that we cant organise anything and am a bit stuck as what to get I would like to get her something to highlight all the good parts of her life but not remind her she is getting old.Any ideas ? as we still have to make the day memorable.

margaretclare

Perfume, or wine, or theatre tickets. Or any luxury item which she's wanted for a long time but couldn't afford. Flowers are always a good bet - I just had a thank you phone call from my elder daughter, sent her flowers for her 45th birthday this weekend. https://www.charityflowers.co.uk

I'm 11 yrs older than your OH's mother and I can definitely empathise with what she says. No way in the world would I want to spend a day - which was meant to be all about me - in the company of 2 women who hate each other. I can feel the negative vibes and death looks from here - and she'd feel she had to keep the peace between them, no way.

60 is a spring chicken nowadays. I can't believe I'm 71, I don't feel like it, but then I don't know *what* 71 is supposed to feel like! Somebody said very cattily that 'it's time I started acting like a pensioner' but then I don't know what *that* is supposed to be like either? Except - whingeing about everything, complaining you don't get what you were promised, 'they said they'd look after us from cradle to grave' - well, if you believed that, bigger fool you!

I watched a TV programme while DH went to Tesco a couple of evenings ago, called 'Bus Pass Boob Jobs'. All about 3 people our age-group who wanted cosmetic surgery. It said a lot about the 3 of them, 2 women and a man, and their sad sad lives. All were divorced and alone. One woman and the man had had 2 marriages and divorces.

DH and I talked about it when he came back and we put the shopping away. He too has survived 2 earlier marriages and divorces, regrets the loss of his physical strength and agility but doesn't regret the life we have together. I'll never forget the note in his voice as he said 'I found what I was looking for'.

The best thing I could say to your 60-yr old OH's mum is - go forward, there's a lotta living still to do, the best is not necessarily behind you.

Best wishes

Margaret

Sazbo

How about treating her to a spa or pamper day? Could be a way to enjoy the day and feel good about herself regardless of her age. But 60's still young - my mum was 70 this year and still going strong, and although initially she wasn't thrilled about "the big seven o", we took a cheap flight to Palma for a few days and had a great time. Is only a number really... hth

susank

I agree with a spa/massage or girly day would be nice - maybe her and a close friend to share the day. Vouchers for that would be a real treat.

ailuro2

A rejuvenating wrap type thing- nothing with anti ageing in the title though.

OR perhaps one of those photo sessions- the ones where they make you look great. It would mark her coming of age,but in a good way.

Mark7799

My parents celebrated their golden wedding last month. They made the same comments (didn't want a big party etc) so DW and I accompanied them on an overnight stay in a hotel and an evening at the theatre. Also gave them very little clue as to what was happening beforehand to keep the surprise element - it worked like a dream.

candygirl

You could get the whole family to club together and pay for them a weekend away.there were cheap london hotel deals on here just recently, now i think they're £59 a night per room, but between the whole family that not bad is it?
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=244756

Cat72

Hi
Thanks for your replys. It is good to hear from someone who has been 60.I agree that age is all in the head- our bodies grow old but or head/personality is just the same as when we were 20 ! I also think that a lot of people sometimes feel that there familys and the state should do more for them and nowadays it doesnt happen.
I should have mentioned that she regualrily goes to the theatre and we have indulgened her in the spa before.Also she is heavily overweight and hates anything that reminds her of this .This can happen for instance whne I took her to the spa the last time and she felt fat in a robe and next to the skinner women.Also she HATES photo of herself as it just reminds her of the past when she was thinner & beautiful.She also has no friends -she has 1 friend who stays the otherside of the country and she sees every few years.( again probably she would be happier if she had more friends )She is also just back from holiday so I cant oganise a trip.I also do not have a lot of money and one son might contribute but the other wouldnt ( very mean to others ).
margaretclare- am glad you explained about why she would probably dislike thefamily dinner, its good to hear it from another persons point of view .I am just worriedthat she might regret not having her family around her.
I was thinking maybe something involving just her sons or that we could take her away on a shopping spree ( as she needs clothes but again because of her weight itcan be akward as she gets depressed if nothing fits ). So it would need to be something that would be nice but not make her feel overweight .

sparklymessygirl

Hi Cat,

I was wondering if you could find a new experience for her so that she feels like she is still able to do things for the first time. What I had in mind was maybe a dance lesson? not sure about this though if she is conscious about her weight? But maybe there is something else she might like - a cookery lesson/course/painting lesson?

Sparkly x
PS. I am saving for a trip on the Orient Express to celebrate my 40th!