Can I save any more money?!

Sarahsaver

Yes it does:)
I have plenty of shower gel and shampoo from a magazine subscription offer £3, I either make gloop or use laundry balls, and get value baby wipes, value toothpaste, and either cheap loo rolls, or when the local shop is open tomorrow I will get about 24 rolls (maybe more) for 2.99;)

Prudent

Sarahsaver wrote:

Well maybe your friend was nicer than my ex. I hope so.
I'm not disputing the fact that I am worth 35 grand - or maybe more!!!
Just that now I would have to stooze/work my !!!!!! off/get into debt or be single forever more.
Your friend's ex does have the kids with her, as I do.

Does it have to be you personally that buys out your ex husband's share or could your new partner do it? I don't know the legalities of this situation as I bought my own house after separation from my ex as I didn't feel safe in the marital home.

Sarahsaver

How would you feel if you had to say to someone - hey, pay me 35 grand and i'm yours!!!
im doing lots of thinking at the moment, and its back to the drawing board with a business idea I had a while back...

Prudent

Sarahsaver wrote:

How would you feel if you had to say to someone - hey, pay me 35 grand and i'm yours!!!
im doing lots of thinking at the moment, and its back to the drawing board with a business idea I had a while back...

I do see what you mean! Though I am sure you're worth it!

Luis

I have just spent the best part of this morning reading this thread, and was minded to add my comment.

I so sympathise with you SarahSaver having been in this situation from both sides - as a kid during the late seventies / early eighties, we were dirt poor, to the extent of hand me downs from male cousins (I am a girl!), me having to answer the door to Bailiffs saying Mum was out (when she was in fact hiding behind the sofa!), all veggies home grown, all clothes hand made, no TV, no phone etc.

However - I thought it might help you to know that as a result, I and my brother have both grown up acutely aware of the value and cost of things, and being very prudent and careful with money (to the extent that I now can't get credit cos I've never needed credit ).

We have also come to appreciate how hard things were for Mum, and how well she did considering this. I look back fondly on a childhood spent playing with Mum, doing things and having days out (usually free walks, castles, museums etc), and compare this with my partner's children who just want to stay in and watch TV / play on PS. Despite being reasonable kids, they have NO idea about the value of things, and are in my opinion spoilt (9yrs old, own tv, stereo, cd personal stereo, millions of clothes etc)

I have also experienced this personally when I did my nurse training 10 years ago on a bursary of £370 per month (rent was £200pm!). You get used to living hand to mouth, but it is d*mn hard. Washing clothes in a twin tub, sitting in clothes, coat and sleeping bag as afraid to put the gas fire on! Red cross parcels from Mum :rotfl:

Anyway - economy tips picked up the hard way:

Aluminium foil behind radiators helps boost heat into room.

Local farms are good for direct buys of veg, fruit, even milk.

Great for cheap toiletries - Wilkinsons (if you have one)

Cheap things for kids to do: Local museums, Castles, Youth Clubs, make Scrap Books, Libraries, Pretend Camping (used to love this when I was a kid - didn't realise it was mum being canny! Make a 'tent' in living room, or outside if it is the one good day of the year, have pic-nic tea (butties and swiss roll) and toast marshmallows on the fire, tell ghost stories etc), bike rides etc

Local colleges are great for cheapies - we have one that is a catering college, and you can buy their attempts dirt cheap. We have another one that trains hairdressers - also v. cheap. Another great idea we have not far from us is a cafe run by local people with Learning Disabilities - it is run by the council in order to provide employment for those who are more able, and as such is not for profit. Everyone wins.

I used to take casual jobs in food industry jobs for a few hours cash in hand - for a few hours on a saturday night putting the lids on foil cartons of meals in my local chinese (yes that really is a job) I would get paid, and a free meal. Similarly working a few hours cash in hand at the local bakery gained spare bread, pies etc. Not glamorous or lucrative, but essential for the few quid and free meal I got.

I have lost track of where you are up to a bit - it appears you are now job hunting, so I gather you have found a way to accomodate your pension problem. Might I suggest (unless of course you are looking for a more career orientated long term job) you consider a job as cashier at a supermarket? This is another job I have done in my long list, which had the benefit of staff discounts, and first options on the dented / just expired stuff.

I am sure some people will read these tips and think they smack of desperation - you're right, they do! I was! It's a grim place to be, but very motivating. I am lucky now - I have had my career as Nurse, and am now embarking on a career with the Civil Service - but I've d*mn well earned it.

Take Heart SarahSaver - your kids love you, and in time will appreciate you and the sacrifices you have made more than any amount of money could do.

:j Rooting for SarahSaver :j

Sarahsaver

Thanks for taking the time to write such a thoughtful reply. I am about to phone severn trent water because i think i am due a rebate, on the grounds that the surface water goes into a soakaway and not into the mains drainage system!
Im used to things being tight going back to when I was a kid, we grew our own veg, cakes and pickles were homemade, we used to go to the tip to 'womble' as we called it! So i too owe my parents a lot in terms of the skills they have passed on.
my kids appreciate the fact that 99% of what we eat is homemade, and our proud to wear each others hand-me-downs, and they are becoming aware of money and how to handle it, which even at a young age is important.
I have had enough - several months - of applying for jobs and having too many qualifications, too much experience, having 3 kids, being a single parent and classified as having a disability - I got really fed up so...




I am starting my own business!
I never would have done it without this site.;)

Jo4

Sarahsaver wrote:

Thanks for taking the time to write such a thoughtful reply. I am about to phone severn trent water because i think i am due a rebate, on the grounds that the surface water goes into a soakaway and not into the mains drainage system!
Im used to things being tight going back to when I was a kid, we grew our own veg, cakes and pickles were homemade, we used to go to the tip to 'womble' as we called it! So i too owe my parents a lot in terms of the skills they have passed on.
my kids appreciate the fact that 99% of what we eat is homemade, and our proud to wear each others hand-me-downs, and they are becoming aware of money and how to handle it, which even at a young age is important.
I have had enough - several months - of applying for jobs and having too many qualifications, too much experience, having 3 kids, being a single parent and classified as having a disability - I got really fed up so...




I am starting my own business!
I never would have done it without this site.;)

What is your business adventure going to be, please do not feel obliged to answer? How has your children taken on to your new partner? You are bound to be very proud of yourself and your kids! I would really like to see your timetable, as I have only me, hubby & our dog to look after and I don't seem to get anything done!

Dreamin big time now ... If only I could be half the person Sarahsaver is

Sarahsaver

i have a website but i dont think im allowed to promote my business on here.
re the other personal stuff dont want to go into 2 much detail;)
timetable - i do have one! will post it..gtg phone...

Jo4

Sarahsaver wrote:

i have a website but i dont think im allowed to promote my business on here.
re the other personal stuff dont want to go into 2 much detail;)
timetable - i do have one! will post it..gtg phone...

Sorry didn't mean to offend you.

Re Business, just though that maybe you would have a website which we could buy things from (if it was that kind of business).

Re Personal stuff, I just thought that you seemed happier than what you were and thought this might have been the reason. SORRY!

Re Timetable, Maybe we can all learn something from it!:T :A

Glad

you do seem more upbeat Sarah,
I'm glad you've reconsidered going self employed,
I've just noticed someone mentioning a new partner?? Have I missed something?