Baby sleeping help - at our wits end!

gizmomum

have just logged on again and am overwhelmed by all the responses, thankyou all. I'll definitely try putting her up in her rocker and us sneaking out (have tried to thank tightfisted for this but keep getting an error message). Some background noise works wth DS and DD has obviously got used to not sleeping in complete silence.
Glamazon I laughed when I read about the spreadeagled baby bit....why do they have to sleep eiter horizontally or in the starfish position :rotfl:But seriously work will give you more of a routine but will make it harder to cope wthout sleep...not meaning to patronising but I would definitely try to get this cracked before you go back.
The funny thing is that DD hardly sleeps during the day either, if she has an hour at lunchtime that's alot for her....I think she's just a reincarnation of the duracell bunny:)

Glamazon

gizmomum wrote: »

have just logged on again and am overwhelmed by all the responses, thankyou all. I'll definitely try putting her up in her rocker and us sneaking out (have tried to thank tightfisted for this but keep getting an error message). Some background noise works wth DS and DD has obviously got used to not sleeping in complete silence.
Glamazon I laughed when I read about the spreadeagled baby bit....why do they have to sleep eiter horizontally or in the starfish position :rotfl:But seriously work will give you more of a routine but will make it harder to cope wthout sleep...not meaning to patronising but I would definitely try to get this cracked before you go back.
The funny thing is that DD hardly sleeps during the day either, if she has an hour at lunchtime that's alot for her....I think she's just a reincarnation of the duracell bunny:)

I will definitely be trying to get to sorted ASAP! I can barely function during the day now and I'm starting a new job not returning to my old workplace!

He's only been down an hour and a half & we just had a screaming session - I picked him up and he trumps loads and writhes around on me so I'm concerned now he's in pain and might have a lactose intolerance cos MIL has it and I'm sure OH has it too but he denies.

J has had 4 naps today - he got up at 6.30am then had 40 mins from 7.30am, then an hour at around 10.30am, then 40mins at around 1pm, and then another 40mins at 3.30pm - he went to bed at 7.30pm. He's definitely tired and needs the naps but I wonder if he's sleeping too much during the day - vicious circle!

Sublime_2

Gizmomum, I know how you're feeling. I had the same with my son. I had no choice but to put him in with our daughter, and he kept waking up every two hours. It was horrible for all. I found nursery rhymes helped, but to be honest, it only got better when we moved to a bigger property, and he had his own room.

I also think that he kept getting woken up by noise from the street in our old house, as we lived along a main road.

The only thing I can suggest is to try lullabies, and perhaps to consider swapping rooms, as maybe noise could be waking your daughter up.

gizmomum

Yes we do need a bigger house. Not enough rooms here and all on top of each other but that's a longer term plan!

Its horrible not really knowing what the cause of the crying is, whether its pain or not. I will try and keep in touch via this thread glamazon and maybe we can keep each other going!

jinky67

Glamazon that actually sounds like he is not getting enough sleep during the and is maybe over tired?

Glamazon

jinky67 wrote: »

Glamazon that actually sounds like he is not getting enough sleep during the and is maybe over tired?

possibly - he's awake again now!

gonna stay home tomorrow n try n get hm to nap for longer & perhaps an earlier bedtime for him.

he cant get any worse! lol

scruffy96uk

I haven't read everyones replies so sorry if I repeat what anyone has said.
I know you have a routine of putting DS to bed at 7pm but could you not swap it round, let him stay up later and put DD to bed 1st. The way I say this is (I only have one at the mo) coz my DD was becoming a nightmare (she is also 2) so we started putting her to bed later and she sleeps thru anything now and I think it is because she is that extra bit tired at bedtime.
DS could be in a bath etc while DD is being settled. So that once DS is ready for bed DD should just be falling asleep upstairs in your room to start with but gradually weaning her into her brothers room.
I don't know, that is just my take on it

JoJoB

You'll find a way - it's so difficult in the first 18 months to get a consistent sleep pattern because they are going through so many changes which continually disrupt sleep (teething, growth spurts, separation anxiety, feeding issues).

What worked for me was what a lot of people might be resistant to, but I decided sleep for all of us was the most important thing. I took the side off DDs cot and pushed it against our bed. So she is within reach when she wakes in the night and eventually started to settle with me just reaching out and putting my arm next to her or hand on her leg. The contact and reassurance are enough now for her to settle again easily (she has started waking again due to back molars coming through).

In this scenario she feels close to us but still has her own bed and we are comfortable in ours and we all sleep! She has just turned 2 and I am aware that when we bite the bullet and transfer her to her own room we will no doubt be in for a week of hell. But I can deal with a tantrumming toddler soooo much easier than a wailing baby to be frank. In the meantime it is nice waking up with her and having cuddles.

I know that it is frowned upon to have them sleep in close proximity for so long, but I don't know why to be honest. I'm sure in evolutionary terms it makes sense for a baby to cry out when they find themselves alone in a dark room - the rest of the tribe might have gone off and forgotten about them, leaving them at the mercy of the local beasties.

Good luck, I know how horrible it is - I became a complete emotional wreck!

Sublime_2

gizmomum wrote: »

Yes we do need a bigger house. Not enough rooms here and all on top of each other but that's a longer term plan!

Its horrible not really knowing what the cause of the crying is, whether its pain or not. I will try and keep in touch via this thread glamazon and maybe we can keep each other going!

We moved to rented accomodation, as the situation was getting dire. My little daughter had just started school and had bags around her eyes every morning through interrupted sleep.

I know now that it was definitely a noise thing, as you could hear the next door neighbours in the childrens room. When we moved, his sleeping miraculously became good.

As to possible pain. I remember trying everything with mine, from Calpol to Ashton & Parsons powders. I also switched to nighttime formula milk. Sometimes one thing would work, sometimes not.

Curious_George_2

i had this over christmas with my DS who is now nearly 2 1/2...
after previously being a angel he started waking through the night which was bad enough but then he started refusing to go down to sleep at bedtime, it all started after a bout of illness so we didnt know if it was pain, or noise from next door etc... i pulled out my hair trying to find the answer...
he was stood up crying and wouldnt even lay down without making a fuss like he was being murdered,
i dont do well on no sleep... so i fixed it!
it took a solid week of hard work but im sure you will agree one more week is better than indefinate problems!
this might be long... but i had your problems and now i dont, so please read and try it

I would put him into bed, make sure he had everything he needed... by then he would already be on his feet crying, so i would stand in the doorway with my back to him and occasionally turn my head and "shhhh" at him,
i didnt speak other than to tell him to sit down or lay down, didnt look at him etc (infact i had my ipod with me and was playing a game... as the first few nights took a while to get my message across... i think i had my back to DS for about 40 minutes to get him into bed the first night, and probably an hour during the night... but that was nothing compared to the 3 hours i had spent fussing around him the night before trying to get him to sleep - with the added bonus that as i was in the room he wasnt crying so OH and DD could get some sleep while i dealt with it...)

when he sat down i would turn round, usually with arms folded and still not really taking much notice of him (if he stood up again i would turn away again etc) he tried to fight but eventually he started to fall asleep sat up and i knew it wouldnt be long til i had him beaten! lol
when he layed down i would drop my arms, ...and take small steps out of the door, he would open his eyes to check i was still there but i was a little further away each time (by the time all he could see of me was my arm... sometimes i would take my top off and hang it from the outside door knob so he would think i was still there!)

now, the tricky bit.... i took to sneaking away as quietly as possible, sometimes it worked and sometimes it didnt (mostly because our floorboards are the squeakiest in the world) one night i brought a cd player into his room and put on a nursery rhyme cd on repeat at a low volume and it gave enough background noise that i could get away quite easily...

for the first few nights he would wake up and notice the door knob top wasnt me and start crying again... so i would repeat it, make sure hes ok then say its bedtime and go back to the door, turn your back....
by the second/third night he knew what i was doing and would sit down almost straight away...

it took just over a week i guess, he then started to sleep through again (bliss) he still has the cd when he goes up to bed but its not on repeat now,
it may take you a week or two but stick with it and it WILL work...
the important bit is to remember which one of your actions matches what the childs doing and do it everytime

your not leaving the kid to cry, your not abandoning but your not rewarding the bad behaviour either where as taking them downstairs, drinks and cuddles is all a nice treat for waking up...

good luck