Baby sleeping help - at our wits end!

gizmomum

Hi all
I'm hoping this is in the right place, blame lack of sleep if it isn't . I have a beautiful two year old son and a little girl who is just coming up to her first birthday. My DS has always struggled with his sleep and we've just about got it sorted now....more nights than not anyhow...and he goes up to bed by about 7pm and usually goes to sleep fairly quickly, altho he does still sometimes have the odd night where he cries and it takes an hour or so (still heartbreaking to me!)
My little girl however still settles downstairs with us in her rocker and comes up when we go to bed. She wakes generally every 1.5-2 hours and is very difficult to resettle...myself and my hubby take turns to bring her downstairs to settle her again before putting her back in her cot which is still in our room. We haven't been able to get her going up in her cot on her own as we know that she'll set her brother off with her constant waking through the evening/night.
This is now having a detrimental effect on us, we both work full time and are getting tired and tetchy with each other and the children and just don't know how to break out of this.
We only have a two bedroomed house so the aim is to get our DD in with her brother in the not too distant future but we can't even do the first step of getting her alseep on her own in our room.
Any tips would be useful, I'm sure we're not the only people to have been in this situation even if it feels like we are!!!:(

jinky67

Firstly, I know how it feels my DD was a terrible sleeper!

Secondly, by bringing her back down stairs you are sort of giving her "permission" to wake up if you see what I mean? I know why you are doing it, but you need to stop.

Also dont talk to her when trying to settle her, just make sure she is ok and leave.

yes it will be hard, but if you are strong, she will get the point eventually and settle herself back down

You will probably find your DS wouldnt wake up anyway if she cried

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I sympathise, but be prepared for an onslaught of controlled crying vs attachment parenting with accompanying accusations of child abandonment and abuse.

I personally would suggest shifting her rocker to your bedroom (with a TV) with you & OH, you popping downstairs as soon as she is asleep. The brief interval between her waking and you quietly walking up the stairs may be enough for her to decide she actually wants to go back to sleep. It would also have the advantage of your DS getting accustomed to some noise from his little sister and his staying asleep today.

Moving on from that stage is then up to you.

gizmomum

so is it a girl thing then
thanks jinky, that's sound advice and more sympathetic than my health visitor was! One of the problems with trying to resettle her in her cot upstairs (with the monimal noise!!) is that when she wakes she leaps to her feet and will not lay down again. I was thinking of maybe some sort of soft toy or comforter.......or is she still too young to have things in her cot (I should know this but my DS was completely different!!)

jinky67

gizmomum wrote: »

so is it a girl thing then
thanks jinky, that's sound advice and more sympathetic than my health visitor was! One of the problems with trying to resettle her in her cot upstairs (with the monimal noise!!) is that when she wakes she leaps to her feet and will not lay down again. I was thinking of maybe some sort of soft toy or comforter.......or is she still too young to have things in her cot (I should know this but my DS was completely different!!)

yes i know someone who did that too:mad::rotfl:
She is perfectly old enough to have things in her cot with her as well;) not that that worked with my DD:o

She ended up in our bed:mad::eek: not good, and nothing to do with me really:cool:

Dont let it happen to you:A

Glamazon

I can sympathise but have no advice as nothing I do seems to work!

We've gone backwards - at 12 weeks he was sleeping through but since the end of Jan weve gone from settling on his own and just waking up a few times for his dummy to waking up screaming evry night and refusing to settle which has now resulted in not being able to settle on his own.

Like I said no advice cos nothign seems to work - have been referred for a package of care with the HV so will see what they say.

gizmomum

Yes she has started to 'visit' our bed as well, partly because we're so exhausted which I know is not a good thing!
I'll be going home and digging out something for her to use instead of me as a comforter then and at the weekend preparing to be strong and letting her know how the night time rules work .
It sounds so easy doesn't it :rotfl:

gizmomum

PS Glamazon have just seen your reply and you sound so much like me you poor thing. Let me know if the care package has anything sueflu in it and I'll let you know when I find the solution at my end. Who knows we may stumle upon something and write a multi squillion selling book

Glamazon

gizmomum wrote: »

Yes she has started to 'visit' our bed as well, partly because we're so exhausted which I know is not a good thing!
I'll be going home and digging out something for her to use instead of me as a comforter then and at the weekend preparing to be strong and letting her know how the night time rules work .
It sounds so easy doesn't it :rotfl:

My son now sleeps in with me, in the spare room. I'm too tired to stay up hour after hour with him. I know that this needs to stop if I want him to sleep through but I need the determination & energy to stick with it for a few nights - at the moment he's inconsolable unless I pick him up.

jinky67

My DD was like that as well, she had major screaming fits almost to the point of being sick

Her Dad couldnt stand it, so he brought her into the bed where she promptly fell asleep:rotfl:

She was in our bed till she was three:eek::eek:

gizmomum

I wish I had a magic wand. My son had a time like that and the only thing I found that sometimes worked was if I put him to bed and then pottered around upstairs so he knew I was there, but even that was a bit hit and miss sometimes
You're right and the key is having the energy to see it through...it's such a vicious cycle
But the thought of sharing a bed with a three year old is quite a good motivator, it's bad enough that she stands up to get our attention now, I hate to think what she'd do in a couple of years time!