Its a wonderful life... Want to try.....?? A Single parents View.. !!xx!

Scarlett1

viktory wrote:

Not !!!!!y at all. I was merely curious as to why none of the single parents have responded to a very valid post. All the single parents state that they cannot manage on the money they get, then why not tell us how much that income is? The posters on here are only responding to the posts that they want to reply to, ignorning the pertinent.

I dont think 'the single parents' (that you call them) were deliberately avoiding anything, they are responding to the posts that they relate to the most :rolleyes:

black-saturn

viktory wrote:

You come across as being very bitter.

Your better off because you have a OH.

Sorry I'm not bitter. I just want the best for everyones children.

Scarlett1

lil_me wrote:

So parents who receive tax credits don't get back something off the state when one parent stays at home ? Parents who get child benefit still get something aswell. If they are saying these benefits take tax payers money then so do any parents who claim any sort of benefit. Only the singles/couples without a family and don't want to have one can complain really.

I have said this before hun that tax credits and child benefit are all benefits, but the high and mighty dont consider it so because its not directly linked to single parents only :rolleyes:

mandi

viktory wrote:

Don't talk crap, BS. My children respect me and utterly admire what I do. And if you had read my posts properly you would know that myself and DH are now better off working. Plus, as I have said before it's a pride thing.

You come across as being very bitter.

Vicktory,

Im a very proud person. I am well spoken, educated, and would have a great deal to offer in the workplace I detest the situation I am in, but back to my OP.. I DONT have a choice, and that was my point.. If any poster has a magical solution, could you please let me know... BTW my ex has spent the last 3 years training as a plummer, and will soon qualify.. Nice eh.. to have that choice.. He wouldnt have been able to do it, if he,d taken custardy of the children though..:rolleyes:

Scarlett1

Broken_hearted wrote:

I'd love to work, I hate myself being at home, I feel like the lowest of the low and all my family work. If you think finding childcare is expensive. Try finding care for disabled husband. For me to work i need to hire 2 yes 2 carers as health and safety says 1 person can't manage to lift him (funny I have to manage). Then I would have to find chilcare for my sons as my mother works and my mother in law life 2 bus journeys away.
Then I wouldn't get any of the same level of childcare or any other top ups that a single parent gets. Direct payments will pay for 1 carer. So by the time I've done all that if it was possible I come out with a minus figure and still have a mortgage to pay.
So whichever way I turn I hate myself !

dont hate yourself you are just doing you're best ((((((hugs)))))

**purplemoon**

black-saturn wrote:

Here free school dinners is also based on your income and as I'm on an income of just over £500 per month I would think it would be classed as a low income.

That's strange as we're not allowed to claim free school meals and we're on a pretty low income. We got free school meals when I was on IS for a while but they had to stop when we claimed WTC and CTC. Maybe I should ask about them again, thanks

Becles

black-saturn wrote:

And why is it acceptable for a married woman to stay at home to look after the children and suddenly become unacceptable as soon as that mum becomes single?

It's not as simple as that. Regardless of tax credits, people see a married couple with a wage earning husband as supporting themselves. People see a working single mother as supporting herself.

A single mother claiming benefits and also a couple not working and claiming benefits are seen by people as a burden on the state.

It's not the marriage aspect that people have a problem with, it's the not working that people find unacceptable.

That's just my observations as I've previously been a married SAHM, a single mother on IS, a single working mother, and now a working married mother!

black-saturn

Becles wrote:

It's not the marriage aspect that people have a problem with, it's the not working that people find unacceptable.

No it's not. There are plenty of SAHM married or with a partner on this board. They get nowhere near the amount of flack the lone parent ones do.

viktory

Scarlett1 wrote:

Viktory I admired you're post and enjoyed reading about you're life until you made the statements above

From what I have just read you didnt get off benefits on you're own merits, you only did it once you were in a relationship and so had support, so its hardly fair to criticise single parents when you could still be in the same situation if you're husband hadnt come along :rolleyes:

Correct me if Im wrong though

Consider yourself corrected. Even if DH hadn't happened along I would still have got off my butt and made something of my life. That is the sort of person I am - and the reason I am like this is because of the example my parents set me, by working hard and relying on no one but themselves. Which is why it makes me mad when posters accuse those that work and expect their teenage children to fend for themselves when they get home from school to be bringing up their children badly. A burden, I think it was called.

I truly believe that the way you are brought up has a direct bearing on how you turn out as an adult. For example, my parents always worked. My siblings have always worked. I have been working for years although I needed the benefit system for a while. Now my children work. My 18 year old daughter has a full time job and is also training to become a special constable and my son has chosen to work his summer holidays so that he can have extra pocket money. That is the work ethic.

My fear is that the families that choose not to work and live on benefits will bring up children who think that getting pregnant and living on benefits is the norm. I have seen it happen.

Becles

black-saturn wrote:

No it's not. There are plenty of SAHM married or with a partner on this board. They get nowhere near the amount of flack the lone parent ones do.

Read my post again.

For the record, the only flack I got from here when I was lone parent was from you slagging me off for working